Lots of changes afoot around here (then again, there have been a lot of changes already). This is both an update to the previous State of the Irre(x2) and an update in general.
1. The Twitter and Tumblr mirrors for this blog are going bye-bye. And soon (truth be told, the Tumblr mirror is already gone). So the very few of you who read this place via those microblogs need to switch your subscription method.
2. Genwi has changed their business model, which means that blog mirror is gone forever.
3. For the one LiveJournal subscriber I had... no, I won't be opening that mirror again. That goes for the TypePad microblog mirror (and its one subscriber), as well.
4. The MySpace mirror isn't really what I'd hoped it would be (it's really just an RSS feed application), so that's gone private (MySpace friends only). Ditto for the Windows Live mirror.
5. The Facebook "Notes" mirror is gone, but the Facebook-based Networked Blogs mirror is still active (obviously). I think "friends" were hiding me because of my notes/status updates. Jerks.
6. There's been strong consideration given to creating a WordPress mirror (or moving to WordPress outright), but Blogger's recent explosion of new features has more than convinced me to stick around. Like, seriously... awesome job, Blogger team. Still not sure why you limit "Pages" to ten, though, since they're essentially just undated blog posts... which are, to my knowledge, unlimited.
7. Irrewinds, though (in my opinion) a valiant experiment, will be discontinued at the end of the year. As I've come to understand the general reading habits of blog readers, I'm convinced that things like Irrewinds are futile and useless (as are the page tabs at the top, but those require little effort on my part). That stated, I'll still do an occasional "Table of Contents" (since those came into being by request) and "Index" (since those are more for my own benefit).
8. Those of you who read my Theme Thursday rant the other day and have noticed that I'm still participating in Theme Thursday might be wondering why, since it seems a bit hypocritical. Well, I'll tell you: I'm one of those who "kindly offered suggestions" on how to keep the place going, and since they're trying many of those suggestions, I'd feel like an asshole if I didn't stick around. Yes, those who dislike the changes should feel free to berate me. I won't care. But I do laugh at those who ripped "Oh, it's 'Theme Week' now" criticisms, since it's always been "Theme Week." Or didn't you notice the themes used to be posted on Sundays and dozens of participants would post early? Even when they held back the link system until "Thursday," it was really Wednesday for most of us. So... yeah... your naysaying logic sucks.
9. You've no doubt noticed the redesigns here. More are coming, but learning how to read the CSS coding in the new Blogger templates is a little more difficult for me than learning how to read the CSS coding in the old Blogger templates was. But I'm on it!
And that's all for this pathetic excuse of an entry.
Showing posts with label MySpace. Show all posts
Showing posts with label MySpace. Show all posts
Monday, September 20, 2010
Monday, March 22, 2010
State of the Irre(x2) Address
So, a few of you might have noticed that I didn't adhere to my posting schedule last week. Fewer of you might have even wondered why. Well, it's simple, I'm in transition from one side of the country to the other. While I'm undoubtedly continuing to develop stories and such in my head, moving around isn't really conducive to the actual typing of said stories... which means you're stuck with rants for the time being.
That stated, I'd just like to point out some things that have changed around here.
1. I've found out a way to implement a MySpace mirror again. It's not exactly what I had in mind, but it does provide a way for people to find me via my preferred social networking site.
2. The Navbar located at the top of the page has been updated (and is still being updated) with bona fide "Tables of Contents" of the various subjects that I post. There will be more to come, but I invited you to check it out and let me know what you think.
3. The Genwi mirror is still down. This has nothing to do with me and everything to do with the notion that Genwi is undergoing an upgrade. Personally, I think the service went under, but I will keep the mirror link up until that becomes official.
4. There has been a concern that this blog takes some time to load on some PCs, browsers, and Internet connections. I've fixed what I can, so the rest is up to you if you still have problems. One thing you can try is to open a "Snapshot" window (found on most of the links here), click the settings menu, and turn off Snapshots for this site. That might help.
And that's all I got. Pathetic of me, I know.
That stated, I'd just like to point out some things that have changed around here.
1. I've found out a way to implement a MySpace mirror again. It's not exactly what I had in mind, but it does provide a way for people to find me via my preferred social networking site.
2. The Navbar located at the top of the page has been updated (and is still being updated) with bona fide "Tables of Contents" of the various subjects that I post. There will be more to come, but I invited you to check it out and let me know what you think.
3. The Genwi mirror is still down. This has nothing to do with me and everything to do with the notion that Genwi is undergoing an upgrade. Personally, I think the service went under, but I will keep the mirror link up until that becomes official.
4. There has been a concern that this blog takes some time to load on some PCs, browsers, and Internet connections. I've fixed what I can, so the rest is up to you if you still have problems. One thing you can try is to open a "Snapshot" window (found on most of the links here), click the settings menu, and turn off Snapshots for this site. That might help.
And that's all I got. Pathetic of me, I know.
Thursday, December 31, 2009
End of Year End-of-Yearings
Another year is coming to a close. Good-bye, 2009... you were, well, a little weird. If I haven't written about all your weirdness already, I'm sure I'll get to it next year. Other than that, I met a lot of cool people in 2009, including "re-meeting" some cool people. I also disconnected with some people, some on purpose (which is rather odd for me, as friends can attest to) and some on accident (which happens more than I care to admit).
2009 (Really) Quick Review:
The Padres sucked and the Chargers rocked. Here's hoping the Chargers make it to the Super Bowl...
The Battlestar Galactica finale was, er, garbage.
Um... did anything else happen in 2009? I forget...
Blog Notes:
Anyway, I decided to cease and desist the MySpace mirror for this blog (some might have noticed the "Subscribe via MySpace" widget disappearing on December 8th... then again, probably not). I was going to wait until New Year's before I stopped the mirror, but MySpace decided to go ahead and block Blogspot/Blogger links again, so I gave up on the 11th. Anybody who still gets notifications from MySpace needs to subscribe via one of the other methods. No, I'm not deleting my MySpace account, and if MySpace gets with the program and decides to offer some sort of automatic feed posting, then I'll take advantage of it. But, until such time, au revoir MySpace Blogs!
I'm also going to make the Irrewind column into a bi-weekly one. Or, rather, the first and third Saturdays of each month. Why? For no other reason than that I am kinda lazy... and that I did the math: my Irrewinds would outrun (so to speak) my posting frequency if I kept them up weekly.
In other news: One-Line Movie Reviews will henceforth be known as Irreview! What does "irreview" mean? Nothing!
In Conclusion:
I clearly have nothing profound to pass along, so enough of this.
Happy New Year!
2009 (Really) Quick Review:
The Padres sucked and the Chargers rocked. Here's hoping the Chargers make it to the Super Bowl...
The Battlestar Galactica finale was, er, garbage.
Um... did anything else happen in 2009? I forget...
Blog Notes:
Anyway, I decided to cease and desist the MySpace mirror for this blog (some might have noticed the "Subscribe via MySpace" widget disappearing on December 8th... then again, probably not). I was going to wait until New Year's before I stopped the mirror, but MySpace decided to go ahead and block Blogspot/Blogger links again, so I gave up on the 11th. Anybody who still gets notifications from MySpace needs to subscribe via one of the other methods. No, I'm not deleting my MySpace account, and if MySpace gets with the program and decides to offer some sort of automatic feed posting, then I'll take advantage of it. But, until such time, au revoir MySpace Blogs!
I'm also going to make the Irrewind column into a bi-weekly one. Or, rather, the first and third Saturdays of each month. Why? For no other reason than that I am kinda lazy... and that I did the math: my Irrewinds would outrun (so to speak) my posting frequency if I kept them up weekly.
In other news: One-Line Movie Reviews will henceforth be known as Irreview! What does "irreview" mean? Nothing!
In Conclusion:
I clearly have nothing profound to pass along, so enough of this.
Happy New Year!
Saturday, June 27, 2009
My Last Space
This is it, ladies and gentlemen, the last entry on MySpace for the foreseeable future. It's becoming evident that MySpace is less and less viable as a platform as the so-called "social networking wars" progress, and that's a bit sad. Personally, I like MySpace better than Facebook, and a lot of the feature implementations are worlds better on MySpace than on Facebook. The chat's better, for one, and the ability to hide entire sections of your "news feeds" that you might not particularly care for is awesome. Not only that, Facebook's blogging (Notes? Whatever...) leaves something to be desired. And let's not forget MySpace Music, which is probably the best music site on the Internet.
Still, as I wrote earlier, I've been a bit unhappy with the blogging functionality on MySpace (specifically with the comments), and MySpace's customer service doesn't seem to care enough to identify and solve the problem. End result: I, like so many others, am off to greener pastures. Unlike so many others, however, I am not deleting my MySpace account, so people can still communicate with me via MySpace comments or messages. I am moving my rants and raves, and short of the possibility of posting links, there won't be any more pointless musings on MySpace.
For those interested, you can follow my insanity at blogger.com, at Irreverent Irrelevance. Anyone with a Google, Yahoo, or AOL account can subscribe to me there. Also, Facebook imports Blogspot entries automatically, so most of you can read my crap there, as well. Eventually, I plan to transfer all of the MySpace entries over there, so anyone who cares doesn't have to jump between sites. Too bad kudos and the "What I'm listening to" feature can't make the jump, as well.
Maybe I'll return one day. Hell, maybe everybody will return one day, given the fickle and trendy nature of "Internet socializing." It'll be interesting to see how MySpace survives losing their Google advertising revenue, and if Viacom will attempt another takeover of MySpace (which they should... MTV is a perfect fit for this place, after all). But, unless that happens...
Au revoir, MySpace.
Still, as I wrote earlier, I've been a bit unhappy with the blogging functionality on MySpace (specifically with the comments), and MySpace's customer service doesn't seem to care enough to identify and solve the problem. End result: I, like so many others, am off to greener pastures. Unlike so many others, however, I am not deleting my MySpace account, so people can still communicate with me via MySpace comments or messages. I am moving my rants and raves, and short of the possibility of posting links, there won't be any more pointless musings on MySpace.
For those interested, you can follow my insanity at blogger.com, at Irreverent Irrelevance. Anyone with a Google, Yahoo, or AOL account can subscribe to me there. Also, Facebook imports Blogspot entries automatically, so most of you can read my crap there, as well. Eventually, I plan to transfer all of the MySpace entries over there, so anyone who cares doesn't have to jump between sites. Too bad kudos and the "What I'm listening to" feature can't make the jump, as well.
Maybe I'll return one day. Hell, maybe everybody will return one day, given the fickle and trendy nature of "Internet socializing." It'll be interesting to see how MySpace survives losing their Google advertising revenue, and if Viacom will attempt another takeover of MySpace (which they should... MTV is a perfect fit for this place, after all). But, unless that happens...
Au revoir, MySpace.
Sunday, May 17, 2009
MySpace vs. Facebook
Yeah, so I reactivated my facebook recently. And I don't much care for it. At least not enough to understand the apparenty mass exodus from MySpace. What's the big fucking deal? Sure, the IM is better (even though MySpace's new IM is practically identical), but the whole site is basically just one big community Twitter on crack.
I admit, I've reconnected with some long-lost people from my past on facebook, and am glad for it, but other than that, I just don't get what's so much better than MySpace about it. Can somebody clue me in?
I first got a facebook in late '04 or early '05, back when it still required a .edu email. I didn't like it, and deactivated it rather quickly. Then I got my first MySpace in late '05, didn't like that, and deleted my account. Then I got another MySpace in early '06, and briefly reactivated my facebook sometime around then. I know you don't give a shit about any of this, but I'm just trying to point out that I'm not exactly partial to social networking sites.
By virtue of finding an old elementary school buddy (that's you, Rob), I wound up keeping my MySpace. I'll also be keeping my facebook for the same reason. But given that there are way more features on MySpace, I don't understand why so many people are not only shifting to facebook, but ditching their MySpace accounts completely.
I'm just curious. Tell me what's up.
I admit, I've reconnected with some long-lost people from my past on facebook, and am glad for it, but other than that, I just don't get what's so much better than MySpace about it. Can somebody clue me in?
I first got a facebook in late '04 or early '05, back when it still required a .edu email. I didn't like it, and deactivated it rather quickly. Then I got my first MySpace in late '05, didn't like that, and deleted my account. Then I got another MySpace in early '06, and briefly reactivated my facebook sometime around then. I know you don't give a shit about any of this, but I'm just trying to point out that I'm not exactly partial to social networking sites.
By virtue of finding an old elementary school buddy (that's you, Rob), I wound up keeping my MySpace. I'll also be keeping my facebook for the same reason. But given that there are way more features on MySpace, I don't understand why so many people are not only shifting to facebook, but ditching their MySpace accounts completely.
I'm just curious. Tell me what's up.
Friday, January 16, 2009
Organized Musings
Introduction
I have decided to organize my random musings. So there.
Television
NBC moving giving Leno their M-F 10 PM slot is going to be A) the end of NBC, or B) the end of network television. Option A will happen if the move is unsuccessful, forcing NBC to revert to "traditional" 10 PM shows, putting the network in a "catch up" position with ABC, CBS, and Fox. Option B will happen if the move is successful, and the rest of the Big Four nets follow suit, forcing audiences to cable channels in order to find quality scripted television.
Prison Break is going bye-bye, which is no surprise. Fox could've turned that show into something great, but instead decided to make it a reverse 24 of sorts, rather than the Kung Fu, The Fugitive, and The A-Team homage that it should've been.
Related to the NBC-Leno thing: Life and (likely) Chuck are screwed.
Battlestar Galactica is beginning its final run. Here's hoping that the nerd-critics finally realize what crap the show's been since part-way through its second season.
Sports
LaDanian Tomlinson is crying about taking a smaller role in the offense. Dude, I thought you were about "being classy." Support your team, take the role, extend your career, and shut the fuck up. All that stated, the mere fact that the Chargers are considering dumping him is ludicrous. That's the face of your team, you idiots.
The Padres allowed Trevor Hoffman to go to the Brewers. That was the face of your team, you idiots.
Speaking of the Brewers, will somebody PLEASE put them back in the American League? And get rid of interleague play while you're at it.
Politics
Obama's taking over soon. Meet the new boss, not much different than the old boss. Hah! Seriously, though, he's no fool... change will come slowly, yet steadily, but this overnight shit just ain't going to happen.
Supposedly the government has identified Mexico (along with Pakistan) as the state most likely to collapse within the next decade or so. I say we annex.
Music
Listen to Fascinoma (she's awesome).
U2's new album comes out shortly... here's hoping it's a great one.
Hollywood
Despite numbers showing otherwise, Hollywood is running around pretending it's in some sort of financial crisis, which is putting it in a financial crisis. How fucking stupid is that?
SAG is not going to strike. If it does, we will definitely see the ascension of AFTRA as the power actor's union in Hollywood. I'm going to assume that even SAG isn't dumb enough to let that happen, but nothing will surprise me.
Heath Ledger does not deserve an Academy Award. Yeah, it sucks he's dead, and I was certainly a fan, but his Joker (while excellent... outstandingly excellent) does not deserve an Academy Award.
Animals
One of my dogs has figured out how to circumvent an electric fence. I am very, very afraid.
So, the Bush Administration lifted some protections from certain groups of Grey Wolves. Almost immediately, Idaho and Montana started organizing wolf hunts. Does that seem ridiculous to anyone else?
MySpace
I'm glad to see that MySpace has finally fixed the blog clock. Seriously, why was that a problem in the first place?
Conclusion
'Til next time...
I have decided to organize my random musings. So there.
Television
NBC moving giving Leno their M-F 10 PM slot is going to be A) the end of NBC, or B) the end of network television. Option A will happen if the move is unsuccessful, forcing NBC to revert to "traditional" 10 PM shows, putting the network in a "catch up" position with ABC, CBS, and Fox. Option B will happen if the move is successful, and the rest of the Big Four nets follow suit, forcing audiences to cable channels in order to find quality scripted television.
Prison Break is going bye-bye, which is no surprise. Fox could've turned that show into something great, but instead decided to make it a reverse 24 of sorts, rather than the Kung Fu, The Fugitive, and The A-Team homage that it should've been.
Related to the NBC-Leno thing: Life and (likely) Chuck are screwed.
Battlestar Galactica is beginning its final run. Here's hoping that the nerd-critics finally realize what crap the show's been since part-way through its second season.
Sports
LaDanian Tomlinson is crying about taking a smaller role in the offense. Dude, I thought you were about "being classy." Support your team, take the role, extend your career, and shut the fuck up. All that stated, the mere fact that the Chargers are considering dumping him is ludicrous. That's the face of your team, you idiots.
The Padres allowed Trevor Hoffman to go to the Brewers. That was the face of your team, you idiots.
Speaking of the Brewers, will somebody PLEASE put them back in the American League? And get rid of interleague play while you're at it.
Politics
Obama's taking over soon. Meet the new boss, not much different than the old boss. Hah! Seriously, though, he's no fool... change will come slowly, yet steadily, but this overnight shit just ain't going to happen.
Supposedly the government has identified Mexico (along with Pakistan) as the state most likely to collapse within the next decade or so. I say we annex.
Music
Listen to Fascinoma (she's awesome).
U2's new album comes out shortly... here's hoping it's a great one.
Hollywood
Despite numbers showing otherwise, Hollywood is running around pretending it's in some sort of financial crisis, which is putting it in a financial crisis. How fucking stupid is that?
SAG is not going to strike. If it does, we will definitely see the ascension of AFTRA as the power actor's union in Hollywood. I'm going to assume that even SAG isn't dumb enough to let that happen, but nothing will surprise me.
Heath Ledger does not deserve an Academy Award. Yeah, it sucks he's dead, and I was certainly a fan, but his Joker (while excellent... outstandingly excellent) does not deserve an Academy Award.
Animals
One of my dogs has figured out how to circumvent an electric fence. I am very, very afraid.
So, the Bush Administration lifted some protections from certain groups of Grey Wolves. Almost immediately, Idaho and Montana started organizing wolf hunts. Does that seem ridiculous to anyone else?
MySpace
I'm glad to see that MySpace has finally fixed the blog clock. Seriously, why was that a problem in the first place?
Conclusion
'Til next time...
Friday, February 15, 2008
Things You Should Do Before March
I haven't been writing much lately, so I figured I'd cop out and do a stupid list.
Without further ado, here are 9 things (lists of 10 are just too cliche) you should do by the end of the month:
1. Buy a Jerzy Jung CD (check her MySpace page for details). She rocks... so listen to my MySpace song and drop her a few bucks for some good music.
2. Slap someone with a "Support our troops, bring them home" bumper sticker. It's an oxymoron. Troops are paid to fight, that's their job. Believe me, we'd much rather you send us more equipment than bring us home, even if we don't agree with the war we're fighting.
3. Tell the driver of the next Jesus fish-labeled automobile that cuts you off or doesn't use a turn signal that he or she is a hypocrite. When you receive a "huh?" look, you'll have your proof.
4. Recognize that the San Diego Charger Girls are the best cheerleaders in professional sports. Dallas Cowboy Cheerleaders be damned.
5. Congratulate a WGA member on the new contract, then connect a right hook to the member's jaw for bringing an entire industry to a standstill.
6. Adopt a pet or donate to a no-kill shelter.
7. Learn to live without your Blackberry. You did it before... it's like riding a bike.
8. Write NBC some hate mail for ruining American Gladiators and canceling Journeyman. Write CBS some laugh mail for bringing back a so-so show and making it worse (Jericho).
9. Send me money.
Without further ado, here are 9 things (lists of 10 are just too cliche) you should do by the end of the month:
1. Buy a Jerzy Jung CD (check her MySpace page for details). She rocks... so listen to my MySpace song and drop her a few bucks for some good music.
2. Slap someone with a "Support our troops, bring them home" bumper sticker. It's an oxymoron. Troops are paid to fight, that's their job. Believe me, we'd much rather you send us more equipment than bring us home, even if we don't agree with the war we're fighting.
3. Tell the driver of the next Jesus fish-labeled automobile that cuts you off or doesn't use a turn signal that he or she is a hypocrite. When you receive a "huh?" look, you'll have your proof.
4. Recognize that the San Diego Charger Girls are the best cheerleaders in professional sports. Dallas Cowboy Cheerleaders be damned.
5. Congratulate a WGA member on the new contract, then connect a right hook to the member's jaw for bringing an entire industry to a standstill.
6. Adopt a pet or donate to a no-kill shelter.
7. Learn to live without your Blackberry. You did it before... it's like riding a bike.
8. Write NBC some hate mail for ruining American Gladiators and canceling Journeyman. Write CBS some laugh mail for bringing back a so-so show and making it worse (Jericho).
9. Send me money.
Monday, July 2, 2007
MySpace is Irritating
Seriously, had something kick-ass to say tonight, but MySpace decided to give me error messages for the last 15 minutes, and now I just feel like going to sleep before my boring flight from the West Coast to the East Coast.
Sure, some of the new features are cool, but with every new feature there seems to be two new bugs. And we all hate bugs. Except for maybe taxidermists, but I can't see how that profession applies to my rant at the moment.
Anybody got a favorite MySpace bug they want to share?
I've got a few:
1. When a "friend" deletes a page, your friend count doesn't change to reflect the deletion, so you really have no idea.
1a. On the old "edit friends" feature, you could actually see the "this profile no longer exists" warnings and manually erase the no longer existing profile from your friends list. Can't do that anymore.
2. Posting a blog between midnight and 1 AM screws up your blog. Really weird.
3. Posting a blog when traveling in one time zone, then editing it in another also screws up your blog. Really weird.
And, on a slight tangent, the drama caused by MySpace pages is INSANE. I've seen everything from fights, to break-ups (including a recent divorce), to kidnappings, runaways, sexual offenses... you name it. Then again, I know of quite a few people that have multiple MySpace pages... one for their "public" face, and one for "sneaking around" (I use quotes dishearteningly and insultingly). Fucking Hell, people... GET A GRIP (ironic coming from me, I know).
By the way, I was originally going to write about stupid people in a little rant called "The Lowest Common Denominators." I'm just letting you know, because I'm still going to write it when I return to North Carolina.
Anyway, share your favorite MySpace bugs. And vote for Clint Eastwood.
Sure, some of the new features are cool, but with every new feature there seems to be two new bugs. And we all hate bugs. Except for maybe taxidermists, but I can't see how that profession applies to my rant at the moment.
Anybody got a favorite MySpace bug they want to share?
I've got a few:
1. When a "friend" deletes a page, your friend count doesn't change to reflect the deletion, so you really have no idea.
1a. On the old "edit friends" feature, you could actually see the "this profile no longer exists" warnings and manually erase the no longer existing profile from your friends list. Can't do that anymore.
2. Posting a blog between midnight and 1 AM screws up your blog. Really weird.
3. Posting a blog when traveling in one time zone, then editing it in another also screws up your blog. Really weird.
And, on a slight tangent, the drama caused by MySpace pages is INSANE. I've seen everything from fights, to break-ups (including a recent divorce), to kidnappings, runaways, sexual offenses... you name it. Then again, I know of quite a few people that have multiple MySpace pages... one for their "public" face, and one for "sneaking around" (I use quotes dishearteningly and insultingly). Fucking Hell, people... GET A GRIP (ironic coming from me, I know).
By the way, I was originally going to write about stupid people in a little rant called "The Lowest Common Denominators." I'm just letting you know, because I'm still going to write it when I return to North Carolina.
Anyway, share your favorite MySpace bugs. And vote for Clint Eastwood.
Wednesday, May 30, 2007
Movies in North Carolina: Three Reviews
As you can probably infer from the blog title, I've seen three movies since I've been back in North Carolina. All were good, though not as good as they could've been, but I figured I'd enlighten you with my ever so educated (not) opinion of said films.
The first, Vacancy, was a well-made taught thriller. Following a trend of recent horrors trying to concentrate more on character than previous waves of the genre, Vacancy succeeds in that its characters seem real. More disturbing is that, despite being entirely fictional, there is a higher sense of "this could happen to me" than in other, supposedly "based on true story" horrors such as Hostel. Vacancy was refreshing in that it avoided most horror-movie conventions and, despite its less than completely satisfying ending, is worth seeing.
Spider-Man 3 is, as we all know, the capstone to one of the most successful movie trilogies of all time. That being stated, it felt a bit rushed, and while having an excellent script, delved more into camp than the previous two films. In addition, fan clamouring for the appearance of Venom only wound up hurting the film, and one wonders if Sam Raimi did that on purpose in order to keep fans out of the development process of any possible future Spider-Man films. As with most trilogies, this installment failed to surpass the quality of the first, but unlike the third Matrix film, deserves to make its way into your DVD collection.
Another "part three," Pirates of the Caribbean: At World's End, did a decent job in wrapping up that respective trilogy. A bit too long (almost three hours), and more than a bit chaotic, it still managed to be better than the second film (though admittedly not as funny). Once again, however, the first installment still holds the bar for how good this movie could have been.
On a side note, is anyone else "insulted" by the way MySpace places movies and television with celebrities in its blog categories?
The first, Vacancy, was a well-made taught thriller. Following a trend of recent horrors trying to concentrate more on character than previous waves of the genre, Vacancy succeeds in that its characters seem real. More disturbing is that, despite being entirely fictional, there is a higher sense of "this could happen to me" than in other, supposedly "based on true story" horrors such as Hostel. Vacancy was refreshing in that it avoided most horror-movie conventions and, despite its less than completely satisfying ending, is worth seeing.
Spider-Man 3 is, as we all know, the capstone to one of the most successful movie trilogies of all time. That being stated, it felt a bit rushed, and while having an excellent script, delved more into camp than the previous two films. In addition, fan clamouring for the appearance of Venom only wound up hurting the film, and one wonders if Sam Raimi did that on purpose in order to keep fans out of the development process of any possible future Spider-Man films. As with most trilogies, this installment failed to surpass the quality of the first, but unlike the third Matrix film, deserves to make its way into your DVD collection.
Another "part three," Pirates of the Caribbean: At World's End, did a decent job in wrapping up that respective trilogy. A bit too long (almost three hours), and more than a bit chaotic, it still managed to be better than the second film (though admittedly not as funny). Once again, however, the first installment still holds the bar for how good this movie could have been.
On a side note, is anyone else "insulted" by the way MySpace places movies and television with celebrities in its blog categories?
Friday, March 30, 2007
Chain Blog
I've tried this, and it works! In fact, if you don't repost this blog and send it to 50 people you know, the girl of your dreams won't send you a letter at midnight tomorrow, thereby robbing you of your chance to receive a free PlayStation Portable loaded with your favorite ringtones!
All that's required of you is for your dumb ass to click here, fill out a silly questionnaire regarding how much you've changed in 10 years or what you like to do on Tuesdays, and post it as a bulletin labeled "How much I love God" or using nifty euphemistic code words corresponding to your initials.
Once you've finished that, simply wait a day or two to find out how you, too, can earn money filling out worthless surveys about how women really do "like 'em big," while making a living in data entry from the comfort of their own homes.
Before long, Tom will threaten to start charging your for your worthless MySpace, unless you start having pointless "MySpace comment" conversations with people you've never met about your best friend's favorite shirtless MySpace profile picture of himself.
Act now, because you are the 1,000,000th visitor to this site, and supplies of Xbox 360s aren't shared with the 1,000,001st visitor. If you fail to act now, we'll ship your free gaming console to a voyeuristic True.com dating site model, who'll in exchange tell you about a great deal for everyone to get rich by mailing 75 random people $1 each.
Don't delay. After all, you can find out who visits your MySpace page!
All that's required of you is for your dumb ass to click here, fill out a silly questionnaire regarding how much you've changed in 10 years or what you like to do on Tuesdays, and post it as a bulletin labeled "How much I love God" or using nifty euphemistic code words corresponding to your initials.
Once you've finished that, simply wait a day or two to find out how you, too, can earn money filling out worthless surveys about how women really do "like 'em big," while making a living in data entry from the comfort of their own homes.
Before long, Tom will threaten to start charging your for your worthless MySpace, unless you start having pointless "MySpace comment" conversations with people you've never met about your best friend's favorite shirtless MySpace profile picture of himself.
Act now, because you are the 1,000,000th visitor to this site, and supplies of Xbox 360s aren't shared with the 1,000,001st visitor. If you fail to act now, we'll ship your free gaming console to a voyeuristic True.com dating site model, who'll in exchange tell you about a great deal for everyone to get rich by mailing 75 random people $1 each.
Don't delay. After all, you can find out who visits your MySpace page!
Thursday, February 1, 2007
Advice for a Horrifically Bad Poet
I have officially been thrown off the deep end. Remember that bad poetry I hinted at in an earlier blog? He just keeps coming, and for whatever reason, I can't fucking avoid him.
Dude, if I'm going to be stuck reading your crap for the rest of MySpace eternity, the least you could do is learn how to write. This includes learning how to spell, and how not to overuse commas, but you're driving me so fucking crazy, I'll settle for a simple development of your talent. A talent, by the way, which wouldn't be allowed in the door of an American Idol for Poets contest.
I must apologize to my friend who is going to take offense or otherwise get mad at me for this... but like I said, nails on a chalkboard.
On to the advice... let's start with something your simple, underly-overly educated dumbass can pick up without too much thinking, eh?
Piece of Advice 1: Words you shouldn't use when writing poems:
Lucid – And don't use "liquid," "solid," or any other descriptor that ends in "id." Unless, of course, you're describing your own bad poetry, which is "flaccid."
Demon or Angel – Can we say BORING? Yeah, the Bible beat you to this, and Milton perfected it. Someone of your low level of talent doesn't have a chance. In other words, you have not been "blessid."
Hawk or Dove – Can we say STUPID? Of course, a hawk will represent violence, a dove peace, a hawk comes from "below" because a dove, naturally, must come from "above." Lord have mercy, STOP! The only bird reference that you fit is that you're like a pigeon taking a shit on my car.
Babel – Yet another Biblical reference that only becomes more obscure with poetry. Blah, blah, blah. Why don't you just write the lyrics to "Stairway to Heaven" and try to claim them as your own, you talentless moron?
Fire – Yes, the old, trusty "flame" of flammable, inflamed passion is heavily overused. Of course, it's usually only heavily overused by people who write bad poetry. A ha! I'm on to something. Fire of love? Check. Fire of lust? Check. Fire of desire? Oh, shit, check. Fire of time? That's a new one, still crappy, check. Fire of YOU'RE AN ASSHOLE. Definitely check.
Piece of Advice 2: Structure
Vary it up a little. When a chapbook is full of 100 poems that all sound the same, look the same, read the same, rhyme the same, and have the same words (those listed above, plus a few other culprits that I really didn't feel like getting into), YOU SUCK!
Change it up! Move a fucking comma! Give me a fucking limerick once in a while!
Piece of Advice 3: Learn to spell
There's nothing worse than a poem about love and lust than a poem about love and lust with fifteen misspelled words in as many lines. Your spelling is so bad, I'm surprised I haven't mistaken your poetry for being written in Latin.
Piece of Advice 4: Quit writing
Please. And for Heaven's sake, never, never, never, write a song lyric again. It almost lobotomized me.
Dude, if I'm going to be stuck reading your crap for the rest of MySpace eternity, the least you could do is learn how to write. This includes learning how to spell, and how not to overuse commas, but you're driving me so fucking crazy, I'll settle for a simple development of your talent. A talent, by the way, which wouldn't be allowed in the door of an American Idol for Poets contest.
I must apologize to my friend who is going to take offense or otherwise get mad at me for this... but like I said, nails on a chalkboard.
On to the advice... let's start with something your simple, underly-overly educated dumbass can pick up without too much thinking, eh?
Piece of Advice 1: Words you shouldn't use when writing poems:
Lucid – And don't use "liquid," "solid," or any other descriptor that ends in "id." Unless, of course, you're describing your own bad poetry, which is "flaccid."
Demon or Angel – Can we say BORING? Yeah, the Bible beat you to this, and Milton perfected it. Someone of your low level of talent doesn't have a chance. In other words, you have not been "blessid."
Hawk or Dove – Can we say STUPID? Of course, a hawk will represent violence, a dove peace, a hawk comes from "below" because a dove, naturally, must come from "above." Lord have mercy, STOP! The only bird reference that you fit is that you're like a pigeon taking a shit on my car.
Babel – Yet another Biblical reference that only becomes more obscure with poetry. Blah, blah, blah. Why don't you just write the lyrics to "Stairway to Heaven" and try to claim them as your own, you talentless moron?
Fire – Yes, the old, trusty "flame" of flammable, inflamed passion is heavily overused. Of course, it's usually only heavily overused by people who write bad poetry. A ha! I'm on to something. Fire of love? Check. Fire of lust? Check. Fire of desire? Oh, shit, check. Fire of time? That's a new one, still crappy, check. Fire of YOU'RE AN ASSHOLE. Definitely check.
Piece of Advice 2: Structure
Vary it up a little. When a chapbook is full of 100 poems that all sound the same, look the same, read the same, rhyme the same, and have the same words (those listed above, plus a few other culprits that I really didn't feel like getting into), YOU SUCK!
Change it up! Move a fucking comma! Give me a fucking limerick once in a while!
Piece of Advice 3: Learn to spell
There's nothing worse than a poem about love and lust than a poem about love and lust with fifteen misspelled words in as many lines. Your spelling is so bad, I'm surprised I haven't mistaken your poetry for being written in Latin.
Piece of Advice 4: Quit writing
Please. And for Heaven's sake, never, never, never, write a song lyric again. It almost lobotomized me.
Monday, January 22, 2007
Randomness on a Sunday Night
Well, the Bears beat the Saints and the Colts beat the Patriots today. I'm really glad the Patriots didn't win; not because they beat the Chargers last week, but because I know I would've gotten real sick of the press pushing the whole "Superbowl Rematch" angle. 1985, anybody?
They should relabel the press the "dead-horse-kickers."
People who write bad poetry need to be stopped. People who post their bad poetry online need to have their electricity turned off.
I found a new pastime to help accelerate the carpal tunnel syndrome that I know I will one day suffer from: Guitar Hero II. Damn you, PlayStation.
Does anybody remember that U2-esque song from the late 1980s, "Under the Milky Way," by the band The Church? Did anybody know that The Church is still an active band? Does anybody know that they absolutely rock? Of course not, you're all listening to Emo/Screamo crap.
Chris Daughtry of American Idol fame sang the National Anthem prior to the Bears-Saints game. He actually started crying. Good for him.
A 29-year-old posing as a 12-year-old tried to enroll in a school. He was living with two over-40 sex offenders. I don't know who got more sick over the situation, the school authorities when they discovered the age discrepancy, or the two sex offenders when they discovered they weren't having sex with a 12-year-old. And you all wonder why I call for Armageddon so often.
For those of you with HDTVs, please don't stretch the image if you don't have an HD tuner. Squat, fat characters on Prison Break and Grey's Anatomy do not make the shows better. Set the image to 4:3, and deal with the black bars on the sides. You're the same idiots who complained about watching movies in widescreen, despite actually seeing a "larger" image, and then complained about your full screen DVDs when you bought a widescreen televison. Yes, you are. Don't deny it.
David Beckham signed a contract for how much money to play soccer in the United States? Wait a second, they play soccer in the United States? Soy de los Estados Unidos! Why don't I know about these things?
Classy people don't go around advertising that they're classy. They just are. Modest people don't go around advertising that they're modest. They just are. Honorable people don't go around advertising that they're honorable. They just are.
I want to see Rocky Balboa and I'm not afraid to admit it.
Lindsay Lohan checked into rehab. And even though I liked Mean Girls, is there any chance that they could keep her there? That would, like, kick ass.
Professional photographers know how to light a shot. If you're letting a "professional" take pictures, and he or she isn't being anal about lighting, you're getting ripped off.
Apparently there's serious discussion that Leonardo DiCaprio is the best actor of his generation. Well, he's got my vote, although I'd throw up some other names into that debate.
Thank you, NFL Network, for airing the "Making the Squad" cheerleader documentaries against the playoff games. Switching to that sure beats watching commercials. And this was WITH Tivo. Cheerleaders rock, what can I say?
People on MySpace really need to check to see if they're "posting" bulletins. I'm very sick of my friends trying to sell me Playstations, penis enhancements, cheap vacations, and cheap women. For crying out loud, change your fucking password from time to time.
For those lucky enough to live near a Macaroni Grill, try their Italian Margarita. I'm not sure what the extra ingredient is that makes a margarita "Italian," but rest assured, I will find out and load my cupboards for some nice home consumption.
If Hillary Clinton somehow manages to win the Presidency, in 100 years, people will look back, see "Bush-Clinton-Bush-Clinton" on the list of Presidents, and realize that the 1990s and 2000s were a very confusing time for us.
I'm going to bed.
They should relabel the press the "dead-horse-kickers."
People who write bad poetry need to be stopped. People who post their bad poetry online need to have their electricity turned off.
I found a new pastime to help accelerate the carpal tunnel syndrome that I know I will one day suffer from: Guitar Hero II. Damn you, PlayStation.
Does anybody remember that U2-esque song from the late 1980s, "Under the Milky Way," by the band The Church? Did anybody know that The Church is still an active band? Does anybody know that they absolutely rock? Of course not, you're all listening to Emo/Screamo crap.
Chris Daughtry of American Idol fame sang the National Anthem prior to the Bears-Saints game. He actually started crying. Good for him.
A 29-year-old posing as a 12-year-old tried to enroll in a school. He was living with two over-40 sex offenders. I don't know who got more sick over the situation, the school authorities when they discovered the age discrepancy, or the two sex offenders when they discovered they weren't having sex with a 12-year-old. And you all wonder why I call for Armageddon so often.
For those of you with HDTVs, please don't stretch the image if you don't have an HD tuner. Squat, fat characters on Prison Break and Grey's Anatomy do not make the shows better. Set the image to 4:3, and deal with the black bars on the sides. You're the same idiots who complained about watching movies in widescreen, despite actually seeing a "larger" image, and then complained about your full screen DVDs when you bought a widescreen televison. Yes, you are. Don't deny it.
David Beckham signed a contract for how much money to play soccer in the United States? Wait a second, they play soccer in the United States? Soy de los Estados Unidos! Why don't I know about these things?
Classy people don't go around advertising that they're classy. They just are. Modest people don't go around advertising that they're modest. They just are. Honorable people don't go around advertising that they're honorable. They just are.
I want to see Rocky Balboa and I'm not afraid to admit it.
Lindsay Lohan checked into rehab. And even though I liked Mean Girls, is there any chance that they could keep her there? That would, like, kick ass.
Professional photographers know how to light a shot. If you're letting a "professional" take pictures, and he or she isn't being anal about lighting, you're getting ripped off.
Apparently there's serious discussion that Leonardo DiCaprio is the best actor of his generation. Well, he's got my vote, although I'd throw up some other names into that debate.
Thank you, NFL Network, for airing the "Making the Squad" cheerleader documentaries against the playoff games. Switching to that sure beats watching commercials. And this was WITH Tivo. Cheerleaders rock, what can I say?
People on MySpace really need to check to see if they're "posting" bulletins. I'm very sick of my friends trying to sell me Playstations, penis enhancements, cheap vacations, and cheap women. For crying out loud, change your fucking password from time to time.
For those lucky enough to live near a Macaroni Grill, try their Italian Margarita. I'm not sure what the extra ingredient is that makes a margarita "Italian," but rest assured, I will find out and load my cupboards for some nice home consumption.
If Hillary Clinton somehow manages to win the Presidency, in 100 years, people will look back, see "Bush-Clinton-Bush-Clinton" on the list of Presidents, and realize that the 1990s and 2000s were a very confusing time for us.
I'm going to bed.
Wednesday, January 10, 2007
Anchorman: The Bane of MySpace
As you can probably infer from the title of this self-important blog, I did not like the movie Anchorman. In fact, I hated it. In fact, in fact, I quit watching it mid-film several times before I sucked it up and finished it. Stupid movie. I'll refrain from insulting its fans.
Let me back up and lay out the chain of events that led me to actually purchasing (yes, I bought the damn thing) and attempting to sit through this really, really stupid movie. A couple of years ago, my (ex) girlfriend and I were invited to Las Vegas for a birthday party. So we went. As if I needed the birthday party excuse to go to Vegas, but bear with me... On the flight from Raleigh to Las Vegas (can't remember where the layover was... Baltimore, maybe?) the in-flight movie was, here it comes, Anchorman. I'm not the type that usually watches the in-flight movie, preferring to either sleep or look out the window, and guess what? I didn't watch the in-flight movie. However, I did watch the scene in which the rival news crews fought each other in a back-street brawl. What can I say? It looked hilarious. Point of fact that it was hilarious, but I will no longer admit that beyond this sentence.
Anyway, did our thing in Vegas, part of which constituted an entire day spent in bed due to those lovely traveler's flus that just love to fuck people up, and then we flew back to Raleigh. The in-flight movie? Yep. I still didn't watch it, but that same back-street brawl scene caught my eye. It also didn't hurt that the movie is set in San Diego, the greatest city in America (other than the pension deficit, of course), so I went and picked it up at Best Buy a few days after we returned to lovely North Carolina.
And then I tried to watch it. And then I tried again. And again. Holy shit, what a stupid movie. I'm not a huge Will Ferrell fan to begin with, but this was just straight up crap. To be honest (and to contradict myself), I'm not sure I have ever actually watched the entire film. I think so, but I'm not sure. Okay, let's just say that I didn't. It's a bad movie.
Fast forward a bit... here I am on MySpace. At the mercy of every yuppie and yahoo that has chosen a quote from Anchorman as their so-called MySpace headline. I am so sick and tired of the "I'm kind of a big deal" and "I have many leather-bound books and my apartment smells of rich mahogany" quotes that seem to breed in this virtual playground. I guess it's sort of testament to the film that so many people remember so many stupid things about it. Either that, or we're in trouble as a society. Again, I'll refrain from any direct insults.
You know what? Since I'm refraining from direct insults, I actually have nothing further to say. Except for a pleading want of everyone to remove any and all references of that stupid movie from their MySpace pages.
But that ain't going to happen... too many people actually feel that they're truly "kind of a big deal."
Couldn't resist...
Let me back up and lay out the chain of events that led me to actually purchasing (yes, I bought the damn thing) and attempting to sit through this really, really stupid movie. A couple of years ago, my (ex) girlfriend and I were invited to Las Vegas for a birthday party. So we went. As if I needed the birthday party excuse to go to Vegas, but bear with me... On the flight from Raleigh to Las Vegas (can't remember where the layover was... Baltimore, maybe?) the in-flight movie was, here it comes, Anchorman. I'm not the type that usually watches the in-flight movie, preferring to either sleep or look out the window, and guess what? I didn't watch the in-flight movie. However, I did watch the scene in which the rival news crews fought each other in a back-street brawl. What can I say? It looked hilarious. Point of fact that it was hilarious, but I will no longer admit that beyond this sentence.
Anyway, did our thing in Vegas, part of which constituted an entire day spent in bed due to those lovely traveler's flus that just love to fuck people up, and then we flew back to Raleigh. The in-flight movie? Yep. I still didn't watch it, but that same back-street brawl scene caught my eye. It also didn't hurt that the movie is set in San Diego, the greatest city in America (other than the pension deficit, of course), so I went and picked it up at Best Buy a few days after we returned to lovely North Carolina.
And then I tried to watch it. And then I tried again. And again. Holy shit, what a stupid movie. I'm not a huge Will Ferrell fan to begin with, but this was just straight up crap. To be honest (and to contradict myself), I'm not sure I have ever actually watched the entire film. I think so, but I'm not sure. Okay, let's just say that I didn't. It's a bad movie.
Fast forward a bit... here I am on MySpace. At the mercy of every yuppie and yahoo that has chosen a quote from Anchorman as their so-called MySpace headline. I am so sick and tired of the "I'm kind of a big deal" and "I have many leather-bound books and my apartment smells of rich mahogany" quotes that seem to breed in this virtual playground. I guess it's sort of testament to the film that so many people remember so many stupid things about it. Either that, or we're in trouble as a society. Again, I'll refrain from any direct insults.
You know what? Since I'm refraining from direct insults, I actually have nothing further to say. Except for a pleading want of everyone to remove any and all references of that stupid movie from their MySpace pages.
But that ain't going to happen... too many people actually feel that they're truly "kind of a big deal."
Couldn't resist...
Monday, December 18, 2006
MySpace Recommendations
Given a recent incident on MySpace (actually, given A LOT of recent incidents on MySpace), I'm going to pretend I'm holier-than-thou and write down some recommendations for a successful MySpace experience.
1. Don't use Internet Explorer as your browser. It's horrifically easy for hackers and hijackers to cut into your private information and use it against you, or use it for their own purposes. Use Mozilla Firefox instead. It's much, much more secure.
2. Change your password often. And I mean often. Like, weekly. Or at least monthly. Okay, maybe semi-annually. Just change it once in a while, okay?
3. Don't click on bulletins that tell you to click on something. A lot of those are hijacker/trojan horse type applications that insert a code into your MySpace page. These codes usually do something stupid or mean (or both) to your page and your friends' pages. Unfortunately, since most MySpace users are nearly computer illiterate (or, at the very least, html illiterate), they have no way to recognize the malicious coding in their profiles.
4. If you are, in fact, web illiterate, change your layouts fairly frequently. Make sure you delete EVERYTHING from your page and rebuild it with the new coding. This will ensure that the old malicious coding is deleted.
5. Run your anti-virus software regularly. And if you don't have one, get a spyware program and run that just as regularly. SpyBot is great and can catch some MySpace baddies.
6. Be careful when downloading or cut-and-pasting MySpace layouts and codings from third-party sites. And for fuck's sake, don't get those stupid "MySpace trackers." They don't work unless somebody else has that same tracker, and then a whole lot of people can look at your personal stuff that you don't want looking at your personal stuff.
7. Limit the types of html coding you use in your profile. Some of them (like the recent Quicktime FUBAR) allow assholes to more easily hack into your page.
Got it? Good.
1. Don't use Internet Explorer as your browser. It's horrifically easy for hackers and hijackers to cut into your private information and use it against you, or use it for their own purposes. Use Mozilla Firefox instead. It's much, much more secure.
2. Change your password often. And I mean often. Like, weekly. Or at least monthly. Okay, maybe semi-annually. Just change it once in a while, okay?
3. Don't click on bulletins that tell you to click on something. A lot of those are hijacker/trojan horse type applications that insert a code into your MySpace page. These codes usually do something stupid or mean (or both) to your page and your friends' pages. Unfortunately, since most MySpace users are nearly computer illiterate (or, at the very least, html illiterate), they have no way to recognize the malicious coding in their profiles.
4. If you are, in fact, web illiterate, change your layouts fairly frequently. Make sure you delete EVERYTHING from your page and rebuild it with the new coding. This will ensure that the old malicious coding is deleted.
5. Run your anti-virus software regularly. And if you don't have one, get a spyware program and run that just as regularly. SpyBot is great and can catch some MySpace baddies.
6. Be careful when downloading or cut-and-pasting MySpace layouts and codings from third-party sites. And for fuck's sake, don't get those stupid "MySpace trackers." They don't work unless somebody else has that same tracker, and then a whole lot of people can look at your personal stuff that you don't want looking at your personal stuff.
7. Limit the types of html coding you use in your profile. Some of them (like the recent Quicktime FUBAR) allow assholes to more easily hack into your page.
Got it? Good.
Thursday, October 12, 2006
MySpace After Death
As I sat around one day, twiddling my thumbs... I was probably at work, mind you... I got to wondering. You know, all the crazy things one wonders wonderfully about when he or she is supposed to be doing something far more important. Yeah, that kind of wondering. Stuff like, "Why did my parents become vegetarians?" and, "Why is chocolate the only flavor of ice cream that possibly tastes better when it's been freezer-burned?" As you can tell, I worry about the state of the world quite often. Of course, there were more serious questions, like, "Why can't I get the one girl I want to go out with in the world to like me... even just a little?" and, "Where, oh, where have my little cats gone?"
Then, the ultimate question hit me... the one that pertains to us all in this glorious virtual world of communication known as the Internet... "What the flying fuck will happen to my MySpace page when I die?"
Seriously, in the real world (the one that few of us even bother with any more), the problem of "virtual property" after a death is becoming a big one. In fact, I even read an article recently concerning email accounts after one dies... it's important, too... go find it and read it... and no, I read it after I formulated the MySpace after death question... so there.
Where was I? Oh, yeah, the real world. Anyway, so what happens? Has Saint Peter installed the Internet at his desk in front of the pearly gates? Does he have a MySpace page with which to message Tom and ask politely to close Joe Schmoe's MySpace account because Joe had a little too much to drink and veered off the bridge into the foamy brine? And what about Satan? Oh, wait, I know... Satan is the one that posts and reposts all of those stupid ass bulletins that morons can't seem to get enough of.
But what if you're not a Christian? Does Allah play? I know Muhammad can't show his picture on his page, but does he have a minion that screams at Americans for their disparaging and immoral pop culture while deleting MySpace pages in the glorious afterlife? And what about Jews? Hindus? Sikhs? Baha'i's? Buddhists? Never mind that last one... Buddha doesn't seem like he'd care. And I'm sure the Scientologists just take their Thetan-invaded laptops with them to their Heaven, so they probably get to keep their MySpace pages when they die.
And the agnostics? Well, they obviously don't know what happens to their MySpace after death, and they probably don't really care. The atheists? I know this one... there is no MySpace after death.
Seriously, folks... this is something we need to figure out. Tom can only handle so much.
Pointless Musings
I've only recently come to the conclusion that the music of Steely Dan is really, really bad. Anyone know who the idiot was that signed Steely Dan to a record deal?
Wilmington, North Carolina should quit trying to pretend that it's a "little Charleston" or a "little Savannah" and start trying to pretend that it's a "little San Diego." It'd be a much nicer place that way.
Even though I was born there, Jacksonville, Florida, should not have a football team (Los Angeles Jaguars, anyone?).
Why can't some roommates grasp that leaving a shower curtain extended keeps the mildew from sticking the curtain together and turning it brown?
Why are women willing to break the sound barrier on large highways, but absolutely terrified to pass people on two-lane ones?
I'm not sexist, I'm just curious.
Not that kind of curious.
I hate you all, except for a certain brunette who absolutely and unequivocally does it for me.
But I hate the rest of you.
Really.
I do.
Then, the ultimate question hit me... the one that pertains to us all in this glorious virtual world of communication known as the Internet... "What the flying fuck will happen to my MySpace page when I die?"
Seriously, in the real world (the one that few of us even bother with any more), the problem of "virtual property" after a death is becoming a big one. In fact, I even read an article recently concerning email accounts after one dies... it's important, too... go find it and read it... and no, I read it after I formulated the MySpace after death question... so there.
Where was I? Oh, yeah, the real world. Anyway, so what happens? Has Saint Peter installed the Internet at his desk in front of the pearly gates? Does he have a MySpace page with which to message Tom and ask politely to close Joe Schmoe's MySpace account because Joe had a little too much to drink and veered off the bridge into the foamy brine? And what about Satan? Oh, wait, I know... Satan is the one that posts and reposts all of those stupid ass bulletins that morons can't seem to get enough of.
But what if you're not a Christian? Does Allah play? I know Muhammad can't show his picture on his page, but does he have a minion that screams at Americans for their disparaging and immoral pop culture while deleting MySpace pages in the glorious afterlife? And what about Jews? Hindus? Sikhs? Baha'i's? Buddhists? Never mind that last one... Buddha doesn't seem like he'd care. And I'm sure the Scientologists just take their Thetan-invaded laptops with them to their Heaven, so they probably get to keep their MySpace pages when they die.
And the agnostics? Well, they obviously don't know what happens to their MySpace after death, and they probably don't really care. The atheists? I know this one... there is no MySpace after death.
Seriously, folks... this is something we need to figure out. Tom can only handle so much.
Pointless Musings
I've only recently come to the conclusion that the music of Steely Dan is really, really bad. Anyone know who the idiot was that signed Steely Dan to a record deal?
Wilmington, North Carolina should quit trying to pretend that it's a "little Charleston" or a "little Savannah" and start trying to pretend that it's a "little San Diego." It'd be a much nicer place that way.
Even though I was born there, Jacksonville, Florida, should not have a football team (Los Angeles Jaguars, anyone?).
Why can't some roommates grasp that leaving a shower curtain extended keeps the mildew from sticking the curtain together and turning it brown?
Why are women willing to break the sound barrier on large highways, but absolutely terrified to pass people on two-lane ones?
I'm not sexist, I'm just curious.
Not that kind of curious.
I hate you all, except for a certain brunette who absolutely and unequivocally does it for me.
But I hate the rest of you.
Really.
I do.
Wednesday, September 20, 2006
More MySpace Etiquette and Pointless Musings
A little over a month ago I posted "Cecili's MySpace Etiquette," a simple list of 12 rules every MySpace user should try to adhere to. Well, it's quite obvious that nobody is adhering to them, so I'm going to repost them... along with some extra commentary.
1. Comments should be comments. (If you are confused: There is a function on myspace that allows you to send a message).
This one is more optional, in my opinion, as some "comment conversations" are quite hilarious.
2. Don't post millions of pictures of your face all over your page--all the vanity and imagery is nauseating.
Yes, absolutely. And while body shots are okay on your photo page, using one that shows you flexing your biceps as your default profile image is quite pathetic.
3. Only post a bulletin if you have something important to report on.
This, along with the following rule, is one of the two Golden Rules of MySpace.
4. Bulletins should be reserved for general information only. If your "friends" want to know the answers to a survey you took, write it in a blog and they can read it at their leisure. Sadly, not everyone cares who your last crush is or what you think about jesus.
Yes, for the love of God, please quit with the rampant chain bulletins. If you simply must post one, please post only ONE and have some respect for your friends who actually post semi-important bulletins.
5. Try to refrain from commenting on someones page twice in a row--its aesthetically unpleasant.
I actually agree with this one, although sometimes it's hard to wait your turn, if you know what I mean.
6. Comments should be thought out and grammar should be observed.
Yes! Yes! Yes! And this goes for bulletins, too. There's nothing worse than making yourself look stupid with a misspelled bulletin.
7. Don't tell people to comment on your pictures--if people like you and/or they are in one of your photos, they will make a comment.
Yes. And don't tell people you've posted new pictures. If we care, we'll find out. The same goes for blogs.
8. There is no need to list EVERY single book/movie/hero you have ever read/watched/loved. People get bored after reading the first three or four entries. You are better off sticking to your favorites--and if this is disconcerting, you can always change your entries every so often depending on your mood. Which reminds me: update your page every now and again. You log on every day.
Eh, I like lists, but okay...
9. When commenting on a blog: stay on topic.
Yes, please.
10. No Blind friend requests... Ever.
Well, guys don't tend to have this problem, so I guess this means that us men should quit asking every "Cool New Person" who catches our eye to be our MySpace friend.
11. Comment approval takes the fun out of posting comments.
Absolutely. Not only that, it's quite lame.
12. Avoid reading blogs from people who make lame lists like this one and call it news.
Nah, lists are fun.
More Pointless Musings
Is it just me, or is Pink's NBC Sunday Night Football opening the absolute worst thing to happen to sports since ping-pong was made an Olympic event?
It's probably not the smartest idea to put pictures of yourself smoking pot on your MySpace page.
I just realized that Ben Affleck has an Academy Award. How the fuck did that happen?
The San Diego Padres have reclaimed first place in the NL West from the hated Dodgers. Hell, yes.
The war in Iraq is turning out to be a complete waste of money. Can we wind up doing what we intended to over there? Yes. Does it look like we're going to? No comment.
For the first time ever, Rosie O'Donnell said something I completely agree with. She said something to the effect that radical Christians are just as dangerous to the American establishment as radical Muslims. What's shocking is not that she said this... what's shocking is that people are actually arguing with her.
If you're not a football fan, quit pretending that you are. Nobody thinks you're cool just because you root for USC. Then again, they might think you're cool if you can name more than five USC players.
Anyone hear about the three 20-year olds in Wisconsin that tried to dig up a woman in order to have sex with her? Seriously. One saw her obituary photo, decided she was good-looking, and grabbed his two buddies for a night on the cemetery. I think I need to move to another planet.
This will be the last of my daily blogs, as I've decided to keep MySpace and, as such, have more time to bore you with my opinions.
1. Comments should be comments. (If you are confused: There is a function on myspace that allows you to send a message).
This one is more optional, in my opinion, as some "comment conversations" are quite hilarious.
2. Don't post millions of pictures of your face all over your page--all the vanity and imagery is nauseating.
Yes, absolutely. And while body shots are okay on your photo page, using one that shows you flexing your biceps as your default profile image is quite pathetic.
3. Only post a bulletin if you have something important to report on.
This, along with the following rule, is one of the two Golden Rules of MySpace.
4. Bulletins should be reserved for general information only. If your "friends" want to know the answers to a survey you took, write it in a blog and they can read it at their leisure. Sadly, not everyone cares who your last crush is or what you think about jesus.
Yes, for the love of God, please quit with the rampant chain bulletins. If you simply must post one, please post only ONE and have some respect for your friends who actually post semi-important bulletins.
5. Try to refrain from commenting on someones page twice in a row--its aesthetically unpleasant.
I actually agree with this one, although sometimes it's hard to wait your turn, if you know what I mean.
6. Comments should be thought out and grammar should be observed.
Yes! Yes! Yes! And this goes for bulletins, too. There's nothing worse than making yourself look stupid with a misspelled bulletin.
7. Don't tell people to comment on your pictures--if people like you and/or they are in one of your photos, they will make a comment.
Yes. And don't tell people you've posted new pictures. If we care, we'll find out. The same goes for blogs.
8. There is no need to list EVERY single book/movie/hero you have ever read/watched/loved. People get bored after reading the first three or four entries. You are better off sticking to your favorites--and if this is disconcerting, you can always change your entries every so often depending on your mood. Which reminds me: update your page every now and again. You log on every day.
Eh, I like lists, but okay...
9. When commenting on a blog: stay on topic.
Yes, please.
10. No Blind friend requests... Ever.
Well, guys don't tend to have this problem, so I guess this means that us men should quit asking every "Cool New Person" who catches our eye to be our MySpace friend.
11. Comment approval takes the fun out of posting comments.
Absolutely. Not only that, it's quite lame.
12. Avoid reading blogs from people who make lame lists like this one and call it news.
Nah, lists are fun.
More Pointless Musings
Is it just me, or is Pink's NBC Sunday Night Football opening the absolute worst thing to happen to sports since ping-pong was made an Olympic event?
It's probably not the smartest idea to put pictures of yourself smoking pot on your MySpace page.
I just realized that Ben Affleck has an Academy Award. How the fuck did that happen?
The San Diego Padres have reclaimed first place in the NL West from the hated Dodgers. Hell, yes.
The war in Iraq is turning out to be a complete waste of money. Can we wind up doing what we intended to over there? Yes. Does it look like we're going to? No comment.
For the first time ever, Rosie O'Donnell said something I completely agree with. She said something to the effect that radical Christians are just as dangerous to the American establishment as radical Muslims. What's shocking is not that she said this... what's shocking is that people are actually arguing with her.
If you're not a football fan, quit pretending that you are. Nobody thinks you're cool just because you root for USC. Then again, they might think you're cool if you can name more than five USC players.
Anyone hear about the three 20-year olds in Wisconsin that tried to dig up a woman in order to have sex with her? Seriously. One saw her obituary photo, decided she was good-looking, and grabbed his two buddies for a night on the cemetery. I think I need to move to another planet.
This will be the last of my daily blogs, as I've decided to keep MySpace and, as such, have more time to bore you with my opinions.
Saturday, September 16, 2006
Random MySpace Thoughts
Hmm... What should I blog about as my time here on MySpace comes to a close? Well, how about MySpace itself? Sure, why not... I've got nothing better to do or say anyway.
MySpace... hmm...
Okay, let's start with the positive. MySpace is a very novel and very easy way to keep in touch with, well, everybody (even complete strangers). With MySpace, I've literally found people that I hadn't talked to in 18 or 19 years. That fact is as cool as it is creepy.
Other positives... um... ah... well, I got to chat with this former San Diego Charger cheerleader that I used to have a crush on about 8 or so years ago... and... um... that's about it for positives.
Negatives. This is going to be easy. Anybody catch that crazy woman who tried to hire a hit man because of a picture she saw on her boyfriend's MySpace page? Or what about that underaged girl that flew to the Middle East to be with her "true love" she had met on MySpace? Or those hot teachers who ask their underage students for sex? Well... that last one might be a positive, depending on how you look at it. Yeah, yeah, call me a chauvinist.
Other negatives... the fact that people are easily found, easily identified, and easily screwed by the stupid shit people tend to post on their pages. I've seen photos of everything from people getting drunk and high, to having sex, to committing crimes (felonies, even)... all on MySpace. I personally know at least two people who've had their relationships ruined because of "MySpace misunderstandings." The list goes on.
The funniest thing to me is that government agencies (Federal, state, and local) often use MySpace to make their jobs easier. "People tell on themselves," I'm told. It's like we stupid civilians designed our own "Big Brother," and we love it. People are dumb, aren't they?
Agh, I'm starting to ramble... I'm not exactly in a writer's mood, if you know what I mean.
I'll miss MySpace, sure... but not really.
MySpace... hmm...
Okay, let's start with the positive. MySpace is a very novel and very easy way to keep in touch with, well, everybody (even complete strangers). With MySpace, I've literally found people that I hadn't talked to in 18 or 19 years. That fact is as cool as it is creepy.
Other positives... um... ah... well, I got to chat with this former San Diego Charger cheerleader that I used to have a crush on about 8 or so years ago... and... um... that's about it for positives.
Negatives. This is going to be easy. Anybody catch that crazy woman who tried to hire a hit man because of a picture she saw on her boyfriend's MySpace page? Or what about that underaged girl that flew to the Middle East to be with her "true love" she had met on MySpace? Or those hot teachers who ask their underage students for sex? Well... that last one might be a positive, depending on how you look at it. Yeah, yeah, call me a chauvinist.
Other negatives... the fact that people are easily found, easily identified, and easily screwed by the stupid shit people tend to post on their pages. I've seen photos of everything from people getting drunk and high, to having sex, to committing crimes (felonies, even)... all on MySpace. I personally know at least two people who've had their relationships ruined because of "MySpace misunderstandings." The list goes on.
The funniest thing to me is that government agencies (Federal, state, and local) often use MySpace to make their jobs easier. "People tell on themselves," I'm told. It's like we stupid civilians designed our own "Big Brother," and we love it. People are dumb, aren't they?
Agh, I'm starting to ramble... I'm not exactly in a writer's mood, if you know what I mean.
I'll miss MySpace, sure... but not really.
Thursday, August 10, 2006
Cecili's MySpace Etiquette
A lot of you know that I am an obsessive San Diego Chargers fan. And a lot of you know that, with that, comes an obsession with the San Diego Charger Girls. Anyway, one thing led to another and the next thing I know, I've found the MySpace page of my favorite Charger Girl of all-time.
No... I'm not stalking her, so leave the jokes at home, please.
What I found is not only the MySpace page of an ultra-beautiful former cheerleader and apparent current dancing queen, but a blog full of poignant wisdom and subtle humor, to boot. Her most recent blog is so spot-on, I had to ask her if I could repost it. And so, without further ado... here are Cecili's rules of MySpace etiquette:
"For those with delicate egos, proceed with caution. This is for your own good.
Disclaimer: I too have violated some of these myspace directives. Nobody is perfect, but we can always be better. This list is by no means exhaustive. I hope upon reading it you will have your own grievances and or suggestions to add to the list.
1. Comments should be comments. (If you are confused: There is a function on myspace that allows you to send a message).
2. Don't post millions of pictures of your face all over your page--all the vanity and imagery is nauseating.
3. Only post a bulletin if you have something important to report on.
4. Bulletins should be reserved for general information only. If your "friends" want to know the answers to a survey you took, write it in a blog and they can read it at their leisure. Sadly, not everyone cares who your last crush is or what you think about jesus.
5. Try to refrain from commenting on someones page twice in a row--its aesthetically unpleasant.
6. Comments should be thought out and grammar should be observed.
7. Don't tell people to comment on your pictures--if people like you and/or they are in one of your photos, they will make a comment.
8. There is no need to list EVERY single book/movie/hero you have ever read/watched/loved. People get bored after reading the first three or four entries. You are better off sticking to your favorites--and if this is disconcerting, you can always change your entries every so often depending on your mood. Which reminds me: update your page every now and again. You log on every day.
9. When commenting on a blog: stay on topic.
10. No Blind friend requests... Ever.
11. Comment approval takes the fun out of posting comments.
12. Avoid reading blogs from people who make lame lists like this one and call it news.
General note:
Blog: This function allows you to write about whatever you want and post it on your page so that people--this is the most important part--who are interested can read it. FYI: It is not to be used to post more photos of your face unless they are pertinent to the blog itself. While tempting, try to only write a blog if you have something interesting, funny, or thoughtful to say. And last but not least, if you're in college, don't post your book reports online--most likely, we havent read the book you are citing and we have no reason to read your blog. Cultural critiques, movie reviews, and current events are always good topics. Book suggestions are also good and should be placed in general information under the sub-heading: Books.
Works cited: An example of a good blog can be found on Irreverent Primates page--also, see Natalie's page; she writes some funny blogs with pictures included. She also posts amusing captions by the photos, the layout is clean, and most importantly: the pictures are related to the blog itself.
Please feel free to add to the list."
No... I'm not stalking her, so leave the jokes at home, please.
What I found is not only the MySpace page of an ultra-beautiful former cheerleader and apparent current dancing queen, but a blog full of poignant wisdom and subtle humor, to boot. Her most recent blog is so spot-on, I had to ask her if I could repost it. And so, without further ado... here are Cecili's rules of MySpace etiquette:
"For those with delicate egos, proceed with caution. This is for your own good.
Disclaimer: I too have violated some of these myspace directives. Nobody is perfect, but we can always be better. This list is by no means exhaustive. I hope upon reading it you will have your own grievances and or suggestions to add to the list.
1. Comments should be comments. (If you are confused: There is a function on myspace that allows you to send a message).
2. Don't post millions of pictures of your face all over your page--all the vanity and imagery is nauseating.
3. Only post a bulletin if you have something important to report on.
4. Bulletins should be reserved for general information only. If your "friends" want to know the answers to a survey you took, write it in a blog and they can read it at their leisure. Sadly, not everyone cares who your last crush is or what you think about jesus.
5. Try to refrain from commenting on someones page twice in a row--its aesthetically unpleasant.
6. Comments should be thought out and grammar should be observed.
7. Don't tell people to comment on your pictures--if people like you and/or they are in one of your photos, they will make a comment.
8. There is no need to list EVERY single book/movie/hero you have ever read/watched/loved. People get bored after reading the first three or four entries. You are better off sticking to your favorites--and if this is disconcerting, you can always change your entries every so often depending on your mood. Which reminds me: update your page every now and again. You log on every day.
9. When commenting on a blog: stay on topic.
10. No Blind friend requests... Ever.
11. Comment approval takes the fun out of posting comments.
12. Avoid reading blogs from people who make lame lists like this one and call it news.
General note:
Blog: This function allows you to write about whatever you want and post it on your page so that people--this is the most important part--who are interested can read it. FYI: It is not to be used to post more photos of your face unless they are pertinent to the blog itself. While tempting, try to only write a blog if you have something interesting, funny, or thoughtful to say. And last but not least, if you're in college, don't post your book reports online--most likely, we havent read the book you are citing and we have no reason to read your blog. Cultural critiques, movie reviews, and current events are always good topics. Book suggestions are also good and should be placed in general information under the sub-heading: Books.
Works cited: An example of a good blog can be found on Irreverent Primates page--also, see Natalie's page; she writes some funny blogs with pictures included. She also posts amusing captions by the photos, the layout is clean, and most importantly: the pictures are related to the blog itself.
Please feel free to add to the list."
Saturday, June 3, 2006
F*** the Troops; F*** Your Petition
Recently there was a petition circulating around MySpace (specifically the military-related members of MySpace) to remove a MySpace group called "Fuck the Troops." This petition went round and round (I, myself, received it multiple times) and eventually succeeded. A group search for "Fuck the Troops" now results in finding nothing except other groups dedicated to removing "Fuck the Troops."
Many of the virtual signers of the petition were military, military spouses, or others with direct connection to the military or with what they refer as an "innate sense of Patriotism." Well, I've got news for you. None of you 1st Amendment-limiting assholes who signed that petition are Patriots. In fact, you're the exact opposite.
Before you get wired up, let me explain...
First of all, the group "Fuck the Troops" was NOT about slandering troops or otherwise giving those who serve this country a bad name. Had any of you bothered to peruse their group page, you would've found several disclaimers (and everyone knows that I love using those myself) stating that they support the troops. The phrase "Fuck the Troops" merely reflected what the proprietors of the group felt that this current administration was doing to our men and women in uniform. In other words, the group would have more accurately been monikered, "Fuck George Bush" (which is, in and of itself, an equally ignorant statement).
Instead, however, we get a group of people who were simply told that a group called "Fuck the Troops" existed, and they overreacted badly. So badly, they didn't even bother to research their "enemy."
Disclaimer: Now, despite what I just wrote, I'm not really saying that everyone who signed it is an idiot... I have plenty of friends who've signed it, but they did so out of reaction. In an occupation where a quick reaction can save one's life, they probably just signed it and moved on.
But you know what? That's not even the point. The point is that everyone who wears a uniform does so to protect the Constitutional rights of Americans. Constitutional rights... of which the first amended right is Freedom of Speech and Expression. The idiots who created "Fuck the Troops" (don't get me wrong, the name pissed me off, as well) absolutely, without doubt, had EVERY RIGHT to create their group. Those of us that wear or wore the uniform should know this. We may not like it, but that's what we're here for... to protect the right to dissent or to complain. Policy is not ours to decide, but to uphold.
In the end, what was done to "Fuck the Troops" was a disservice to the Constitution and a disservice to the military. You may not agree with my train of thought, but the fundamental logic remains. A small piece of our Freedom of Speech was destroyed. Way to go. Some have obviously forgotten what you're supposed to be defending.
The First Amendment: "Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press; or the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the Government for a redress of grievances."
Many of the virtual signers of the petition were military, military spouses, or others with direct connection to the military or with what they refer as an "innate sense of Patriotism." Well, I've got news for you. None of you 1st Amendment-limiting assholes who signed that petition are Patriots. In fact, you're the exact opposite.
Before you get wired up, let me explain...
First of all, the group "Fuck the Troops" was NOT about slandering troops or otherwise giving those who serve this country a bad name. Had any of you bothered to peruse their group page, you would've found several disclaimers (and everyone knows that I love using those myself) stating that they support the troops. The phrase "Fuck the Troops" merely reflected what the proprietors of the group felt that this current administration was doing to our men and women in uniform. In other words, the group would have more accurately been monikered, "Fuck George Bush" (which is, in and of itself, an equally ignorant statement).
Instead, however, we get a group of people who were simply told that a group called "Fuck the Troops" existed, and they overreacted badly. So badly, they didn't even bother to research their "enemy."
Disclaimer: Now, despite what I just wrote, I'm not really saying that everyone who signed it is an idiot... I have plenty of friends who've signed it, but they did so out of reaction. In an occupation where a quick reaction can save one's life, they probably just signed it and moved on.
But you know what? That's not even the point. The point is that everyone who wears a uniform does so to protect the Constitutional rights of Americans. Constitutional rights... of which the first amended right is Freedom of Speech and Expression. The idiots who created "Fuck the Troops" (don't get me wrong, the name pissed me off, as well) absolutely, without doubt, had EVERY RIGHT to create their group. Those of us that wear or wore the uniform should know this. We may not like it, but that's what we're here for... to protect the right to dissent or to complain. Policy is not ours to decide, but to uphold.
In the end, what was done to "Fuck the Troops" was a disservice to the Constitution and a disservice to the military. You may not agree with my train of thought, but the fundamental logic remains. A small piece of our Freedom of Speech was destroyed. Way to go. Some have obviously forgotten what you're supposed to be defending.
The First Amendment: "Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press; or the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the Government for a redress of grievances."
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
