I haven't been writing much lately, so I figured I'd cop out and do a stupid list.
Without further ado, here are 9 things (lists of 10 are just too cliche) you should do by the end of the month:
1. Buy a Jerzy Jung CD (check her MySpace page for details). She rocks... so listen to my MySpace song and drop her a few bucks for some good music.
2. Slap someone with a "Support our troops, bring them home" bumper sticker. It's an oxymoron. Troops are paid to fight, that's their job. Believe me, we'd much rather you send us more equipment than bring us home, even if we don't agree with the war we're fighting.
3. Tell the driver of the next Jesus fish-labeled automobile that cuts you off or doesn't use a turn signal that he or she is a hypocrite. When you receive a "huh?" look, you'll have your proof.
4. Recognize that the San Diego Charger Girls are the best cheerleaders in professional sports. Dallas Cowboy Cheerleaders be damned.
5. Congratulate a WGA member on the new contract, then connect a right hook to the member's jaw for bringing an entire industry to a standstill.
6. Adopt a pet or donate to a no-kill shelter.
7. Learn to live without your Blackberry. You did it before... it's like riding a bike.
8. Write NBC some hate mail for ruining American Gladiators and canceling Journeyman. Write CBS some laugh mail for bringing back a so-so show and making it worse (Jericho).
9. Send me money.
Showing posts with label Writers Guild. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Writers Guild. Show all posts
Friday, February 15, 2008
Tuesday, December 18, 2007
Hollywood Studio Creative Accounting: a Solution
Still no progress in the strike talks, with both sides slinging mud and acting like unwanted children. And these are supposed professionals we're talking about.
While I have no proposed to solution to this deadlock, I do believe I have a solution to one of the problems that has haunted Hollywood's talent for decades: the studios' propensity for "creative accounting."
What do I mean by "creative accounting," you might ask? Well, I'll tell you.
In Hollywood, several actors, directors, writers, and the like often sign deals for a percentage of a film's gross, or a percentage of a film's net. As a percentage of a film's gross is a rather unfair deal to the studios, some of the talent in Hollywood agreed to work for a percentage of the film's net, thereby allowing the hand that feeds them to make a nice profit, before handing the talent any extra income. However, the studios began to employ "creative accounting," in that they would fudge figures, budgets, revenues, and all sorts of numbers to show that a particular film, despite its box office take, never netted a penny.
As you can well see, taking a percentage of the net, a set up designed to be fair to both the studios and the talent, began a system entirely unfair to the talent. So, the talent went back to "percentage of gross" deals, and the studios went back to fuming.
This problem, unlike the current strike, is easily solved. Simply set a specific box office revenue target, then grant the talent a percentage of the gross beyond that target dollar amount.
Example: Film A costs $60 million to make. Writer B (or Actor B, or Director B) agrees to the "gross beyond specific box office revenue target," which is set at the film's budget amount of $60 million.
The film is released and goes on to gross $260 million at the box office. Since the set level was agreed at $60 million (the budget), the studio recoups its production costs, and Writer B makes 5% of the $200 million earned above that level.
As box office figures are compiled independent of the studios themselves, there are no figures to fudge.
And hence, no more "creative accounting."
Vote Eastwood, who is likely to support my idea.
While I have no proposed to solution to this deadlock, I do believe I have a solution to one of the problems that has haunted Hollywood's talent for decades: the studios' propensity for "creative accounting."
What do I mean by "creative accounting," you might ask? Well, I'll tell you.
In Hollywood, several actors, directors, writers, and the like often sign deals for a percentage of a film's gross, or a percentage of a film's net. As a percentage of a film's gross is a rather unfair deal to the studios, some of the talent in Hollywood agreed to work for a percentage of the film's net, thereby allowing the hand that feeds them to make a nice profit, before handing the talent any extra income. However, the studios began to employ "creative accounting," in that they would fudge figures, budgets, revenues, and all sorts of numbers to show that a particular film, despite its box office take, never netted a penny.
As you can well see, taking a percentage of the net, a set up designed to be fair to both the studios and the talent, began a system entirely unfair to the talent. So, the talent went back to "percentage of gross" deals, and the studios went back to fuming.
This problem, unlike the current strike, is easily solved. Simply set a specific box office revenue target, then grant the talent a percentage of the gross beyond that target dollar amount.
Example: Film A costs $60 million to make. Writer B (or Actor B, or Director B) agrees to the "gross beyond specific box office revenue target," which is set at the film's budget amount of $60 million.
The film is released and goes on to gross $260 million at the box office. Since the set level was agreed at $60 million (the budget), the studio recoups its production costs, and Writer B makes 5% of the $200 million earned above that level.
As box office figures are compiled independent of the studios themselves, there are no figures to fudge.
And hence, no more "creative accounting."
Vote Eastwood, who is likely to support my idea.
Sunday, December 16, 2007
Kudos and F.U.-dos
It's been a while since I did something pointless and random, so here goes:
Kudos to Al Gore, who completely remodeled his energy-hog home into something much, much more efficient. Way to put your money where your mouth is (but I still wouldn't vote for you).
F.U.-dos to Bobby Petrino. You know, coaches all around the world often push their players by saying, "Finish what you start." Mr. Petrino, you have lost the right to ever say that again.
Kudos to Michael Vick. You're finally where you belong.
F.U.-dos to Michael Vick. You're finally where you belong.
Kudos to the San Diego Chargers. One more win and you clinch your division for the second year straight. Two more wins and you'll record back-to-back double-digit wins for the first time since the 1980 and 1981 seasons.
F.U.-dos to the San Diego Padres. Are you ever going to win a bid for a free agent? That being said, they are still looking better than last year.
Kudos to the AMPTP for sticking to their guns.
F.U.-dos to the AMPTP for not having a back-up plan in the case of a strike.
Kudos to the WGA for putting out some of the best television material in years.
F.U.-dos to the WGA for putting a lot of people out of work.
Kudos to NBC for picking up Life and Chuck for full-season runs (and possible kudos for dumping Bionic Woman).
F.U.-dos to NBC for leaving Journeyman in a current state of limbo.
Kudos to Ronald D. Moore for creating what was potentially the best science-fiction television series ever.
F.U.-dos to Ronald D. Moore for ruining it during the second season.
Kudos to Brad for getting me hired on American Idol.
F.U.-dos to everyone who fails to return emails, MySpace messages, and phone calls.
Kudos for the State of California for imposing penalties on employers that don't offer health care. More kudos for California for not fucking with the current health care system to do it. See, people? There are solutions.
F.U.-dos to China for not leaving Taiwan alone, among other places. Seriously, it's been a half-century. Is it really that important to have that island? F.U.-dos also go to the United States for being pussies and not formally recognizing Taiwan as a sovereign nation.
Kudos to everyone who reads these silly little blogs.
F.U.-dos to everyone who doesn't.
Kudos to Al Gore, who completely remodeled his energy-hog home into something much, much more efficient. Way to put your money where your mouth is (but I still wouldn't vote for you).
F.U.-dos to Bobby Petrino. You know, coaches all around the world often push their players by saying, "Finish what you start." Mr. Petrino, you have lost the right to ever say that again.
Kudos to Michael Vick. You're finally where you belong.
F.U.-dos to Michael Vick. You're finally where you belong.
Kudos to the San Diego Chargers. One more win and you clinch your division for the second year straight. Two more wins and you'll record back-to-back double-digit wins for the first time since the 1980 and 1981 seasons.
F.U.-dos to the San Diego Padres. Are you ever going to win a bid for a free agent? That being said, they are still looking better than last year.
Kudos to the AMPTP for sticking to their guns.
F.U.-dos to the AMPTP for not having a back-up plan in the case of a strike.
Kudos to the WGA for putting out some of the best television material in years.
F.U.-dos to the WGA for putting a lot of people out of work.
Kudos to NBC for picking up Life and Chuck for full-season runs (and possible kudos for dumping Bionic Woman).
F.U.-dos to NBC for leaving Journeyman in a current state of limbo.
Kudos to Ronald D. Moore for creating what was potentially the best science-fiction television series ever.
F.U.-dos to Ronald D. Moore for ruining it during the second season.
Kudos to Brad for getting me hired on American Idol.
F.U.-dos to everyone who fails to return emails, MySpace messages, and phone calls.
Kudos for the State of California for imposing penalties on employers that don't offer health care. More kudos for California for not fucking with the current health care system to do it. See, people? There are solutions.
F.U.-dos to China for not leaving Taiwan alone, among other places. Seriously, it's been a half-century. Is it really that important to have that island? F.U.-dos also go to the United States for being pussies and not formally recognizing Taiwan as a sovereign nation.
Kudos to everyone who reads these silly little blogs.
F.U.-dos to everyone who doesn't.
Wednesday, December 12, 2007
The WGA Strike: an Exercise in Greed, Power, and Stupidity
I'm sure everyone is aware of the Hollywood strike perpetuated by the Writer's Guild of America. It's all over the news, you're starting to notice your favorite TV shows disappear gradually, and everyone's about to get sick of reality programming.
This strike, in and of itself, is ridiculous, and will do Hollywood as an institution a Hell of lot more harm than it will "empower the writers to continue to produce commercial concent." And here's why:
Although there are several issues on the table at the negotiations between the AMPTP and the WGA, the one experiencing the hottest contention is the debate over how much money writers should be paid for web and new media content (such as webisodes of popular television shows, web-only shows, and direct downloads of shows and films). On the AMPTP side, they're claiming that the financial model for such a system isn't quite yet hammered out, and they're not sure how exactly they should distribute fees and residuals to the writers. The WGA is claiming that's a load of bullshit, and wants its money.
Now, according to several reports, the AMPTP has offered the WGA the same setup used to determine DVD and home video residuals. There's a bit more to it, but that's it in essence. To this, the writers resoundingly said "no."
Let me back up a bit... I wholeheartedly agree with the writers in that they should be paid for their work. However, I vehemently disagree that they should be paid for their work "in perpetuity." This is partially because I believe product should, ultimately, enter the public domain after a set number of years (and not a lengthy set, either), but that's almost another matter entirely, and I do not currently have the time to go over it.
Long story short: the WGA is wrong for instigating the strike when they did. Next year, the SAG and the DGA unions are going to approach the AMPTP to restructure their contracts, as well. Why couldn't the WGA have waited until then? Simply sign a one-year extension and have all three of the "power guilds" negotiate at the same time? By then, the AMPTP's argument about "not knowing how to pay for webisodes and downloads" would have been moot, having been given a year to figure it out.
But, no, Hollywood writers are, by nature, a greedy lot, and having already been slighted over "proper due credit" in film and television (an issue I agree with the WGA on), they aren't about to give up their so-called "pennies on the dollar."
If you find yourself siding with the writers on this, I ask you to go to the WGA website and look up their schedule of fees. These writers are extremely well-compensated for their work, most making more for a single script or a teleplay than many Americans make in an entire year. And, yet, they're claiming they don't make enough money.
There is more to this story, and, yes, I do feel that the WGA should ultimately win out on this issue, but they (along with SAG and the DGA) need to realize that they can only bite the hand that feeds them so many times. When an institution gets too top-heavy, it simply collapses, and then everyone is shit out of luck.
All that being said, my overall problem with the WGA is that they (again, along with SAG and the DGA) have not just the ability to force their own work-stoppages, they have the ability to shut down the entire American movie-making business. When these unions strike, it's not just them that feels the heat, but the hundreds and thousands of "below-the-line" workers who find themselves suddenly out of jobs. And most of the people who comprise IATSE (the largest Hollywood union, and the one which holds most of the technical and worker-bee personnel) don't make 25% of what the people in the WGA, SAG, and the DGA make.
Seriously... the next time you strike, make damn certain the "facts" you bring to the table are ironclad. And quit forcing me to find other jobs.
So, to the writers, despite the fact that I wish to eventually join the WGA, go fuck yourselves.
This strike, in and of itself, is ridiculous, and will do Hollywood as an institution a Hell of lot more harm than it will "empower the writers to continue to produce commercial concent." And here's why:
Although there are several issues on the table at the negotiations between the AMPTP and the WGA, the one experiencing the hottest contention is the debate over how much money writers should be paid for web and new media content (such as webisodes of popular television shows, web-only shows, and direct downloads of shows and films). On the AMPTP side, they're claiming that the financial model for such a system isn't quite yet hammered out, and they're not sure how exactly they should distribute fees and residuals to the writers. The WGA is claiming that's a load of bullshit, and wants its money.
Now, according to several reports, the AMPTP has offered the WGA the same setup used to determine DVD and home video residuals. There's a bit more to it, but that's it in essence. To this, the writers resoundingly said "no."
Let me back up a bit... I wholeheartedly agree with the writers in that they should be paid for their work. However, I vehemently disagree that they should be paid for their work "in perpetuity." This is partially because I believe product should, ultimately, enter the public domain after a set number of years (and not a lengthy set, either), but that's almost another matter entirely, and I do not currently have the time to go over it.
Long story short: the WGA is wrong for instigating the strike when they did. Next year, the SAG and the DGA unions are going to approach the AMPTP to restructure their contracts, as well. Why couldn't the WGA have waited until then? Simply sign a one-year extension and have all three of the "power guilds" negotiate at the same time? By then, the AMPTP's argument about "not knowing how to pay for webisodes and downloads" would have been moot, having been given a year to figure it out.
But, no, Hollywood writers are, by nature, a greedy lot, and having already been slighted over "proper due credit" in film and television (an issue I agree with the WGA on), they aren't about to give up their so-called "pennies on the dollar."
If you find yourself siding with the writers on this, I ask you to go to the WGA website and look up their schedule of fees. These writers are extremely well-compensated for their work, most making more for a single script or a teleplay than many Americans make in an entire year. And, yet, they're claiming they don't make enough money.
There is more to this story, and, yes, I do feel that the WGA should ultimately win out on this issue, but they (along with SAG and the DGA) need to realize that they can only bite the hand that feeds them so many times. When an institution gets too top-heavy, it simply collapses, and then everyone is shit out of luck.
All that being said, my overall problem with the WGA is that they (again, along with SAG and the DGA) have not just the ability to force their own work-stoppages, they have the ability to shut down the entire American movie-making business. When these unions strike, it's not just them that feels the heat, but the hundreds and thousands of "below-the-line" workers who find themselves suddenly out of jobs. And most of the people who comprise IATSE (the largest Hollywood union, and the one which holds most of the technical and worker-bee personnel) don't make 25% of what the people in the WGA, SAG, and the DGA make.
Seriously... the next time you strike, make damn certain the "facts" you bring to the table are ironclad. And quit forcing me to find other jobs.
So, to the writers, despite the fact that I wish to eventually join the WGA, go fuck yourselves.
Sunday, November 4, 2007
Pointless Musings All Over
Well, it'll be official at midnight tonight, the Writers Guild is going to strike. This means that movies and TV shows are going to get really, really bad in the near future. Cool.
The Chargers are 4-4. Norv Turner and Philip Rivers are to blame. Yep. Despite not generating much offense, it didn't appear that Mr. Turner made any half-time adjustments. Yeah, his defensive half-time adjustments simply didn't work against that monster that is Adrian Peterson, but he didn't even try anything different with the offense until it was way too late.
As far as Philip Rivers... at least when Drew Brees had things start going bad, he didn't get rattled. Rivers fucks up once, and you can count on him fucking up the whole game.
Last week started bad for me, but ended well and was a very good week in retrospect. This week is off to an even worse start... and while I'm hoping that means it will end even better than last week, I doubt it.
I'm almost motivated to start working on my time travel script again... and after seeing the first part of the absolutely horrible A Sound of Thunder, it's clear Hollywood is in dire need of a good time travel script. Oh, but wait... there's a strike.
Another band you should be listening to, but probably aren't: Barcelona.
There's a credit union in Nevada called Greater Nevada Credit Union. Avoid doing business with them at all costs. Ripping you off is the name of their game.
My interest in Prison Break is fading fast.
My interest in the East Coast is fading even faster.
Best lyric ever written (and I might have said this before): "Little old lady got mutilated late last night."
I just saw a documentary concerning that teenaged Palestinian girl who killed that teenaged Israeli girl. Wow. Those two cultures really hate each other. I mean, really. Like, reciprocated hatred. Good luck solving that problem anytime soon.
More on the Writers Guild strike... do the unions not realize that they're biting the hand that feeds them? Take a look at the United Auto Workers union... if one can point a finger at what kicked American car companies off the top of the mountain, the UAW's demands over the years is it. Next year the Directors Guild and Screen Actors Guild get a chance to strike, too. Hollywood is so fucked.
Since BRAC started under the first Bush, the military has lost dozens and dozens (hundreds and hundreds, really) of military installations and training grounds. Guess what's happening now? Yep, the military is trying to "eminent domain" about 5 million acres for training areas. I haven't done the research yet, but I'm guessing that's about how much land the military has lost under BRAC. Way to plan that one out, morons.
Vote Eastwood.
The Chargers are 4-4. Norv Turner and Philip Rivers are to blame. Yep. Despite not generating much offense, it didn't appear that Mr. Turner made any half-time adjustments. Yeah, his defensive half-time adjustments simply didn't work against that monster that is Adrian Peterson, but he didn't even try anything different with the offense until it was way too late.
As far as Philip Rivers... at least when Drew Brees had things start going bad, he didn't get rattled. Rivers fucks up once, and you can count on him fucking up the whole game.
Last week started bad for me, but ended well and was a very good week in retrospect. This week is off to an even worse start... and while I'm hoping that means it will end even better than last week, I doubt it.
I'm almost motivated to start working on my time travel script again... and after seeing the first part of the absolutely horrible A Sound of Thunder, it's clear Hollywood is in dire need of a good time travel script. Oh, but wait... there's a strike.
Another band you should be listening to, but probably aren't: Barcelona.
There's a credit union in Nevada called Greater Nevada Credit Union. Avoid doing business with them at all costs. Ripping you off is the name of their game.
My interest in Prison Break is fading fast.
My interest in the East Coast is fading even faster.
Best lyric ever written (and I might have said this before): "Little old lady got mutilated late last night."
I just saw a documentary concerning that teenaged Palestinian girl who killed that teenaged Israeli girl. Wow. Those two cultures really hate each other. I mean, really. Like, reciprocated hatred. Good luck solving that problem anytime soon.
More on the Writers Guild strike... do the unions not realize that they're biting the hand that feeds them? Take a look at the United Auto Workers union... if one can point a finger at what kicked American car companies off the top of the mountain, the UAW's demands over the years is it. Next year the Directors Guild and Screen Actors Guild get a chance to strike, too. Hollywood is so fucked.
Since BRAC started under the first Bush, the military has lost dozens and dozens (hundreds and hundreds, really) of military installations and training grounds. Guess what's happening now? Yep, the military is trying to "eminent domain" about 5 million acres for training areas. I haven't done the research yet, but I'm guessing that's about how much land the military has lost under BRAC. Way to plan that one out, morons.
Vote Eastwood.
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