The Sign Says Closed

Way back in 2006, I wrote a blog post on MySpace in response to a friend of mine's irritating propensity to self-promote. Like... really irritating. Worse, she'd self-promote when she didn't need to, when it was unwarranted, or when people clearly didn't give a shit. So, me being a bit of a jerk... I wrote about it (IMDb Listings).

For the next three years (give or take a month or two), I wrote wrathfully and whingeingly about a ton of shit that, admittedly, I didn't really care about. But, people have long-expected such a tone from me and since MySpace was, you know, "a place for friends," I felt compelled to oblige. I even got my buddy Wings involved in MySpace and (indirectly) blogging.

Wings, being more in tune with cyberspace than I am, quickly discovered new blogging platforms and in late 2008 made the jump to Blogger (check out his blog here). Since he was one of my blogging buddies and (I'll confess) I kinda missed him around, I started checking out his new blog. By May of 2009, he'd convinced me to give Blogger a shot.

So I did. And I loved it. Sure, there are some features from MySpace blogs that I miss, but in 9 features out of 10, Blogger blows MySpace out of the water. Six days after testing it out, I jettisoned MySpace for good.

Shortly after that, Wings asked me to edit something for a blogging group called Theme Thursday. Then he encouraged me to give the group a whirl. And I did.

Over the last year and half or so, I've begun correspondence with a ton of cool bloggers. Many have become regular sources of entertainment and information, a few have become collaborators and/or professionally intertwined, and a handful have even become real-life friends. And, for these connections, I'm eternally grateful.

Last year, from January 1st to December 31st, I conducted a bit of an experiment and wound up posting on a strict schedule in order to prove a point in a dick-headed manner (I'm a jerk, remember?). Sometime last summer, I got sick of it... the schedule, the point, the blog... all of it. But, as I'm also stubborn, I kept with it. I figured I'd get the bug again eventually (and I sort of did), but the muse has faded to the point of apathy. This, combined with the fact that several around these parts have proven to be remarkably disingenuous, has made the fun of blogging (for me) disappear.

So... I'm closing up shop. I'll still be around, of course. There are three or four bloggers I've run across who have legitimate shots at becoming working writers, and I'll be assisting them whenever I can. Those connections I'm grateful for know where I'm hanging out, and a fellow blogger has kindly granted me author access on her blog for whenever I get the itch to post some creative writing publicly (which will primarily be to keep my participation streak at The Tenth Daughter of Memory alive). Maybe I'll be back, but I wouldn't hold your breath (the three of you who care).

Well, see you around. Gotta go. One of my cats clearly wants more attention. Maybe he misses my other two dogs as much as I do.

There are lights at the end of all tunnels. Some tunnels are just longer than others. He's been in touch. He's not in a good place just yet but he will endure. If you know him, love him. If you don't, wish him well. Better still, find him a muse, he's lost without one. He'll be missed on the blogs and it is my hope that in a few weeks, he'll at least have the motivation to begin writing again. Check out The Tenth Daughter of Memory Love you Jeffscape. You're one in a million. (Baino)

Out in the Open

So, I've been caught. Red-handed. After several months of trying to keep it under wraps, I've been called on it. I have, despite my best intentions, fallen head over heels in love with a fellow blogger. She's ignored my hints, my emails, my less-than-subtle yearnings hidden in "fiction" pieces. I've even strongly considered, to save myself from abject embarrassment, deleting many of the posts I've written about her.

The kicker came when she posted a poem about fake, virtual love. You can read it here: "Not Your Average Love Poem"

Yeah, I tried to play it off with a joke, but it hurt. Maybe you're thinking I'm a little crazy right now, but I don't care. I'm not about "fake, virtual love." That was uncalled for.

And I know you really love my writing - you're not fooling anybody - so here's your not-so-average love poem...

And the Muses...
To convince, of love, words as art
What better way to show you
Syllables from my heart

I could quote lyrics, and I would
But better they'd be mine own
As they should

To read of your other men
I feel sick, disgusted
My heart abandoned

No, I shall not devolve immature
But hold my head high
As I imagine our future

Please don't unfollow
Leave me on your blog roll
For its absence, as my heart...

Would leave me hollow...

You are, forever, my Muse...

***

Yeah, I'm pathetic. Sue me.

In My Humble Opinion...

I'm not in any sort of bad mood, I promise. In fact, I just feel like being a bit irreverent... towards blogging. This is one part procrastination (as of this writing, anyway... hopefully by the time anyone reads this, the contract will be fulfilled), one part an extension of Irrelevant Etiquette, one part "I just feel like it," and one part (sadly) "I have nothing else to do."

Well, if you've noticed the obvious contradiction above, I do have something else to do... I just don't feel like doing it. I feel like doing this, instead, but I've stated that already.

So, here we go... the illustriously irreverent "Things That Irritate Me On Blogs!"

1. Automatic music players. Seriously... this is a big one. In fact, there are a couple of blogs I'd visit more often if I knew I didn't have to scramble to shut the music off. I'm typically already listening to music when I'm gallivanting around the Internet and, trust me, our tastes in music probably don't go together well. That's not to state that I don't like your taste in music... that's just stating your song playing at the same time as my song probably sounds like two cats trying to stick genitals in the wrong parts of their bodies.

2. Black backgrounds with white fonts. Since most of the Internet is the opposite, my eyes and brain go all wobbly for a few moments when I come to blogs with this color scheme. They've even been known to give me a headache from time to time. This isn't as bad as the music thing, but it does force me to close my eyes before I click on their links... eyes needing prep time to adjust 'n all.

3. Word captchas combined with comment approvals. Really? Why? Let's not forget that Blogger, at least, has implemented a pretty good spam filter recently. Not sure about your blog(s), but mine haven't had an "Asian spammer" problem in a while. I get why some people have comment approval turned on (particularly the more controversial bloggers), but both? Is that really necessary? Let me answer that for you: No.

4. Recipes combined with photographs. Okay, not really... they just have a knack for making me hungry. Even when I've already eaten. And they remind me that my diet is crap and that I should eat better. I already have a nagging mother, thank you (two if you count a certain Aussie friend of mine).

*To be honest, I'm tempted to try a lot of these recipes, so ignore that one.

5. Blog-rolls that are ridiculously long. Actually, I don't really care about this... I'm just here to tell you that most people (if not everyone) will NOT be sifting through those things. And, go ahead and admit it: you don't either.

6. Comment approvals. I've changed my mind. I don't like comment approvals at all (hiding votes on competition sites excluded, of course... suck it!). It reminds me of censorship. I hate censorship. So go [CENSORED] yourselves.

7. Hidden email addresses. C'mon! You're posting publicly, why can't we contact you? I hate getting comments and finding out that I can't respond directly because it's a "noreply@blogger" address. We're blogging! We're supposed to be communitizing (new word... deal with it).

8. And this brings me to responses to other comments in comment sections. Yeah, it's not a big deal on smaller blogs... but, really? You want us to sift through THAT just to see how you responded to us? Here's an idea... email us back via our unblocked email address that is nice enough to show up in your comment notification.

9. People whining about me because they take me far too seriously. Which, any regular reader here will tell you, is not advised.

Kiss my ass and have a nice day.

Quick Blog Reviews V

Yeah, so... my Internet habits are changing a tad. You might have noticed I combined the old blog rolls (I think there were five) into two. I've dropped most of the blogs I follow from my reader, preferring instead to just click on their links when they pop up. The irony is that I'm actually reading more blogs than I used to (a temporary phenomenon, I'm sure).

Anyway, here are more blogs I've been enjoying (not all of which I actually "follow"). It's a cool mix.

Empathy's Ego - A somewhat reluctant blog, it's a bit disheartening that it's not updated more often, but the snippets of poetry and prose you'll find there reveal an eager and consistently improving talent. Perhaps all she needs is a bit more encouragement. So go encourage.

The Far Queue - I'm not entirely sure how to describe this one (then, that may be the point there), but I'd have to call it "counter-pop pop culture." An amazing talent filters through competent poetry, engaging fiction, and often cathartic commentary. In all likelihood, you're going to disagree with many of the perspectives shared in the work at The Far Queue, but so what? It's enjoyable to read (there's no dogmatic attempt to shove dissenting opinions down your throat) and will make you think.

Just a Lost Soul Swimmin' in a Fish Bowl - We all know how I love irreverent attitudes, and blog author Jeney is about as irreverent as they come. Though sometimes dealing with serious topics, the pervasive sarcasm and finger-pointing humor (often at herself) is hilarious. And for those of you who like a blogger who directly engages their audience (unlike me), you'll find this blog destination to be to your liking.

Life at Willow Manor - A former "blog of note" on blogger, this one needs absolutely no endorsement from me (and probably won't notice, anyway). Not only one of the better variety/slices of life blogs I've come across (recipes, movie reviews, book reviews, travelogues abound), it's also home to some of the best blog poetry I've ever read. Willow understands the singular nature of effective poetry and uses it to its full aesthetic and creative advantage. She'll be on bookshelves at some point, I'm certain.

PattiKen and the Muses - Like Empathy's Ego, this blog is home to an eager and consistently improving talent. Initially (I must admit), the prose just seemed to stagnate and remained predictable... but then something happened. I don't know what or how it came about, but there's a moment when the creative floodgates opened and all Hell broke loose (she'll appreciate that joke... heh). Now, you really don't know what you're going to get, and the result is thoroughly enjoyable. There's a saying in art (and other things) that "less is more," and as I sometimes point out over there, she's mastering that little facet of narration quite well.

***

As some of you are aware, I used to only pimp out blogs with a relatively small following (some of these larger blogs could do the same, but perhaps they lack the ego of empathy... cough, cough). I'm aware my influence in "pimping" is limited, at best, but as I prepare for my fade from the blogosphere, I feel that some of these bloggers warrant another mention.

From Quick Blog Reviews II:

• Half-Moose with a Twist
• Heaven in Hell

From Quick Blog Reviews IV:

• Creative Infanticide
• The Rambling Decorum
• Siobhan's Random Ramblings

State of the Irre(x2): September 2010

Lots of changes afoot around here (then again, there have been a lot of changes already). This is both an update to the previous State of the Irre(x2) and an update in general.

1. The Twitter and Tumblr mirrors for this blog are going bye-bye. And soon (truth be told, the Tumblr mirror is already gone). So the very few of you who read this place via those microblogs need to switch your subscription method.

2. Genwi has changed their business model, which means that blog mirror is gone forever.

3. For the one LiveJournal subscriber I had... no, I won't be opening that mirror again. That goes for the TypePad microblog mirror (and its one subscriber), as well.

4. The MySpace mirror isn't really what I'd hoped it would be (it's really just an RSS feed application), so that's gone private (MySpace friends only). Ditto for the Windows Live mirror.

5. The Facebook "Notes" mirror is gone, but the Facebook-based Networked Blogs mirror is still active (obviously). I think "friends" were hiding me because of my notes/status updates. Jerks.

6. There's been strong consideration given to creating a WordPress mirror (or moving to WordPress outright), but Blogger's recent explosion of new features has more than convinced me to stick around. Like, seriously... awesome job, Blogger team. Still not sure why you limit "Pages" to ten, though, since they're essentially just undated blog posts... which are, to my knowledge, unlimited.

7. Irrewinds, though (in my opinion) a valiant experiment, will be discontinued at the end of the year. As I've come to understand the general reading habits of blog readers, I'm convinced that things like Irrewinds are futile and useless (as are the page tabs at the top, but those require little effort on my part). That stated, I'll still do an occasional "Table of Contents" (since those came into being by request) and "Index" (since those are more for my own benefit).

8. Those of you who read my Theme Thursday rant the other day and have noticed that I'm still participating in Theme Thursday might be wondering why, since it seems a bit hypocritical. Well, I'll tell you: I'm one of those who "kindly offered suggestions" on how to keep the place going, and since they're trying many of those suggestions, I'd feel like an asshole if I didn't stick around. Yes, those who dislike the changes should feel free to berate me. I won't care. But I do laugh at those who ripped "Oh, it's 'Theme Week' now" criticisms, since it's always been "Theme Week." Or didn't you notice the themes used to be posted on Sundays and dozens of participants would post early? Even when they held back the link system until "Thursday," it was really Wednesday for most of us. So... yeah... your naysaying logic sucks.

9. You've no doubt noticed the redesigns here. More are coming, but learning how to read the CSS coding in the new Blogger templates is a little more difficult for me than learning how to read the CSS coding in the old Blogger templates was. But I'm on it!

And that's all for this pathetic excuse of an entry.

Diary-Ah

Weird. For the past few weeks (months, really), I've been anticipating another move. Plenty of logistics involved in such a move, but anyone who's ever gone from one place to another knows this. Where it's been extra crazy for me is here, on this friggin' blog. See, I've been maintaining a forced schedule of posting all year to prove a bit of a point (and those in need of this "proof" know who they are), but it's been... shall we say... a tad inconvenient.

Long-story short, given several potential move dates, I wound up pre-scheduling a number of posts (at one point, I was three or four months ahead). These pre-scheduled posts not only included all of my "rant and rave" days, but many of my "creative writing" days, as well. Problem with that, though... there are three creative posting groups I like to participate in (The Tenth Daughter of Memory, Magpie Tales, and Theme Thursday) and I very quickly realized that scheduling the "creative writing" days in advance effectively preempted any participation therein. So I unscheduled... and wound up with a rather large backlog of ready-to-go material.

And now my brain isn't working. I think I've run through my imagination supply for the year. Seriously, it hurts to think (then again, that might be an unrelated problem). Basically, my attempt to "get ahead" might result in not being able to participate, anyway, thanks to massive brain farting.

Ah, well.. c'est la vie.

***

In other news, a few loyal readers have expressed disdain at the fact that several stories that have appeared on these virtual pages are not to be finished on these same virtual pages (I have a reason for this, and it's explained elsewhere... but I'm not sure if it's in a post that's already up or will be up soon). So, I'm considering starting a new blog that's invite-only for those who are truly interested to see how my brain (when it works) pieces together the remainder of these stories. If I do create the new blog (and I've made no decision as of this writing), I'll let those who expressed interest know.

For the first time in a long time, I became appalled at the ability (or willingness) of American book distributors to supply works from foreign authors. I'm currently under contract to analyze the works of some Commonwealth short story writers, and two of those writers are Australian. One of the authors was easy to find, but the other... holy cow. Granted, had these writers been from, say, Sri Lanka or Tanzania, I'd be a little more forgiving of the difficulty in acquiring English versions of applicable works from those nations... but I'm talking Australia, a rather large English-speaking part of the world. Seriously, I went to Borders, Barnes & Noble, Books-a-Million, Amazon.com, Buy.com, and even some specialty shops. All to no avail. Were it not for a good friend living in Sydney, I'd have had to (gasp) search university libraries and (gasp) lose my tax write-off.

Yes, I just made a mountain out of a molehill. It can be fun sometimes, you know.

That's all for now.

Irrelevant Etiquette

You ever get sick of hearing and reading about how to behave in certain situations and places? I do, but mainly because most of what's out there is stuff people should know already. Yeah, I get that the average person is dumb, and half of the rest are dumber than that (thanks, George Carlin!), but come on... what happened to that "All I Really Need to Know I Learned in Kindergarten" poster that used to be up everywhere?

Anyway, and I realize I'm a bit of a hypocrite, since I've written about behavior before, but... whoa... run-on sentence in the making. And I just made it worse, didn't I? Ah, well.

Without further ado and digression, here's the most useless etiquette protocol you will ever see:

1. Be aware that "irreverent" and "irrelevant" are not thrown around lightly here. If you want reverence and relevance, I can point you to better places to find them.
2. Don't comment without reading the piece. I hide stuff for skimmers to expose themselves with, at which point the information is shared with dozens of bloggers who like to laugh at such things. Yes, humor between bloggers really does get that banal. But we dig banal. We write about it enough, eh?
3. Point out grammatical and spelling errors. Don't assume it was an innocent mistake and, for fuck's sake, don't be "polite" and pretend you didn't notice it. That doesn't help anybody.
4. Feel free to be critical, but say what you mean. Don't hide behind vague and colorful language in futile attempts to appear congenial. It makes you look like an idiot.
5. If you leave a comment expecting an answer, make sure your email address is unhidden. This is not a bulletin board. But I do often take the time to reply via email ("noreply@blogger" comments typically get ignored).
6. By the same measure, if you have a question, ask it. The cliché concerning the word "assume" is only half true. You'll be the only ass in the room.
7. For those readers whose sensitivities lead them to believe that I'm writing for their enjoyment: you are not paying for my groceries. This place exists for me to do what I want. "Kiss my ass" and "Have a nice day" are equally common phrases here.
8. If you do want to pay for my groceries so I'll write for your enjoyment, email me for my mailing address and we'll work out a remuneration plan.
9. Don't insult the comments of others. I don't care what you think about anybody else, and most readers here don't, either. Go to their blog and leave a comment or send them an email if you have an issue with someone other than me.
10. Kiss my ass and have a nice day.

Internet Writers - Quick Blog Reviews IV

Just figured I'd pimp out more blogs that I enjoy...

Creative Infanticide - a veteran blogger who recently decided to give creative writing a shot, her stuff is, well, pretty good. Though her initial intent was to write contemporary fiction, she quickly expanded into fantasy, including some science fiction and a bit of erotica. She might claim otherwise, but she was born to tell stories. The consistent, constant improvement in her work is proof enough of that.

Kaigan Lotlin - Okay, so this is a blog that I help administer, but only because it's the repository for some really inane stuff from my niece and nephew (neither of whom are older than 10 at the moment). No, it's not very good stuff right now, but I'm hoping their development as storytellers continues (if they choose to do so) at a steady pace. So read 'em!

The Rambling Decorum - another veteran blogger who wanted to separate her creativity from her rambling (ironic that her creative blog is The Rambling Decorum and her rambling blog is Tales from a Motherless Daughter), you can find intriguing fiction and photography here. Sometimes lacking confidence in herself, she nonetheless produces quality work. An oft-published writer once told her to give up writing (or so she says), but that was years ago. I'm certain he'd have a different opinion now should she ever find the courage to send him some of her more recent work.

Siobhan's Random Ramblings - an extremely young blogger, this one really does produce random ramblings (don't we all). And while her insights into life are clearly that of a youth's, there are moments of clarity beyond her years. That aside, her artwork is fantastic and a recent delving into creative writing is producing some seriously competent pieces.

WaystationOne - I've been reading this one for a while and the only reasons I've not touted the home of Brian Miller before are that 1) I used to have an arbitrary rule about only pimping lesser-known blogs, and 2) he's got a shitload of followers. Already in possession of an excellent grasp on poetic prose, he's been stylistically spreading his wings as of late. Typically writing warm-and-fuzzy material, his darker stuff is what drew me to his work. That there are hints of ugly underneath pieces most describe as beautiful is why he's so intriguing. He's afforded me the honor of reading some of his more disturbing material before he posts and/or publishes it, and it's brilliant.

Give 'em a whirl; tell 'em I sent ya.

Commentaries

I write. I am not a writer, but I write. And while I enjoy the virtual vanity of accumulating comments on this blog, I essentially follow Caffeinated Joe's philosophy and write for myself. I think it's great that other people read my crap, and I wouldn't change that for the world.

That stated, I (and many of my blogging companions) have noticed that many, many, many commenters seem, well, disingenuous.  Over the past few months we've identified many laughable habits and have even come up with terms describing these particular blog "readers." And I figured I'd share them with you.

• Alpha-Omegas - these are the people who, usually when dealing with admittedly lengthy blog entries, only read the first and last paragraphs of that entry, and leave comments in the hopes that you won't notice. These "readers" fancy themselves as extremely clever, though often their comments provide glaring evidence leading to the conclusion that they have no idea what your piece is about.
• Charlie Tunas - simply put, these are people who leave "canned comments." Often painfully obvious (as many tend to be members of writing groups or memes), one can safely surmise that they actually cut and paste certain comments, changing a word here or there in order to tailor it to your entry.
• Fanboys - not necessarily non-readers, but their commenting practices reveal a certain... lack of discerning ability? Have you ever come across a blog that is clearly full of talentless or otherwise bad "writing," but somehow has hundreds of followers? And those followers ALWAYS "love" the work and never have anything constructive or specific to say.  Yeah... those people.
• Follower Fishers - people who only comment in the hopes of attracting followers to their own blogs. They come in many forms, utilizing the non-reading technique of others in vain (as in vanity) attempts to get us to read their crap.
• Moles - not bad in and of themselves, but they do tend to be a tad condescending by linking their own blog or blog entry in a comment they leave for you. Sure, it can be a thoughtful thing to do when the link leads to something the commenter feels might be related to what you wrote, but more often a mole is simply follower-fishing. If not, they're doing a pretty good job of implying that you're too stupid to follow their profile back to their blog. Which, you know, is what most of us do when we're curious enough to see who left a comment.
• Missionaries - these make me want to puke most of the time. You know who they are. Someone who came across your blog, read something they didn't like or disagreed with, and offered to show you their own work in order to "correct your opinion" or "belief set" so you can be saved. I don't know about you, but I write fiction a lot, and I don't need to be saved. My characters might, but I don't. And even if I did, I don't want to be. And even if I wanted to be, I doubt I'd let a blogger or a viral marketer try to do it.
• Skimmers - though these "readers" don't feel they are as clever as Alpha-Omegas, they are actually far better at not reading your blog than most other pretend-readers. They'll scroll through, looking for keywords that repeat or otherwise stand out, then leave a cautiously formulated comment reflecting the fact that they noticed those words or phrases. Harder to catch, these ones, but their comments also hint at not knowing what your piece is actually about.

There are more, but I'll let you come up with funny monikers for those people.

At any rate, I'm just asking for commenters to provide the courtesy of actually having read what they have commented on. Is that fair? Or am I just being anal?

While I may leave a short, confusing, or otherwise sarcastically brief and/or bereft comment, I can assure you that if a comment was left by me, it means that I read your post... from the first word to the last word. Anything less would be hypocritical.

Can't we all just get along?

Oh, wait... never mind. Getting along would make my life boring.

State of the Irre(x2) Address

So, a few of you might have noticed that I didn't adhere to my posting schedule last week. Fewer of you might have even wondered why. Well, it's simple, I'm in transition from one side of the country to the other. While I'm undoubtedly continuing to develop stories and such in my head, moving around isn't really conducive to the actual typing of said stories... which means you're stuck with rants for the time being.

That stated, I'd just like to point out some things that have changed around here.

1. I've found out a way to implement a MySpace mirror again. It's not exactly what I had in mind, but it does provide a way for people to find me via my preferred social networking site.

2. The Navbar located at the top of the page has been updated (and is still being updated) with bona fide "Tables of Contents" of the various subjects that I post. There will be more to come, but I invited you to check it out and let me know what you think.

3. The Genwi mirror is still down. This has nothing to do with me and everything to do with the notion that Genwi is undergoing an upgrade. Personally, I think the service went under, but I will keep the mirror link up until that becomes official.

4. There has been a concern that this blog takes some time to load on some PCs, browsers, and Internet connections. I've fixed what I can, so the rest is up to you if you still have problems. One thing you can try is to open a "Snapshot" window (found on most of the links here), click the settings menu, and turn off Snapshots for this site. That might help.

And that's all I got. Pathetic of me, I know.

Internet Writers - Quick Blog Reviews III

It's been a couple of months since I gave shout-outs to fellow bloggers, so I figured I'd give it another go. I'm still a bit exhausted from February's writing challenge, and these are relatively easy for me to write. In a rather strange twist (for me, anyway), each of this edition's recommendations are of female bloggers.

Also, I've lifted the self-imposed restriction of only reviewing blogs with a small following. I will, however, emphasize smaller followings as much as possible.

Harnett-Hargrove - an artist who delves in the emotion of surrealism. Perhaps she doesn't agree with that description, but that's how I interpret her absolutely fantastic and engaging work. Often matching her art with snippets from pop-culture history (usually literature and/or famous quotes), the result is wholly interpretative, yet exhibits a clear and specific message (though I admit, my limited brain does not always grasp what that message is). Brilliant stuff.

Kind Of That Girl - a young aspiring writer learning her craft in plain sight of the viewing public. Well, she claims she's "learning," but there's an existing talent that betrays more experience than she lets on. Those interested in contemporary drama, particularly drama written about young women and by a young woman, should definitely check this one out. She's still finding her own balance in storytelling, but each work is better than the last.

Platypuss-in-Boots - a ridiculously cute place to read about the whimsical tales of a group of personified stuffed animals finding their way through an imaginary world. Yes, it's cute. And it's very good. The author makes the occasional foray into the real world, but the sheer magic of Big Bed Land (as she calls it) draws you in like few storytelling blogs do. I hesitated to read the tales for a while (I do have a jerk reputation to maintain, after all), but I ultimately succumbed to their overwhelming charm. You should, too.

She Writes - a prolific blogger who should already be published, but for whatever reason... isn't. Her style is quite professional and more than a little artistic. While her older works are limited (both in openness and in scope), her recent work is astoundingly straightforward, blunt, and more emotionally profound than almost every other blog that I happen to read. As with "Kind of That Girl," it's a treat to see the progression of quality with each piece.

Stephanie says - a blog rife with the author's personal biography, history, and anecdotes, I go there to read a pretty damned good writer. I've not been reading long, but this one has a skill with the word that I admire. It seems to be mainly creative non-fiction, but who knows? Good writers know how to hide reality in fiction and vice versa. This one knows how.

Pay 'em a visit! Tell 'em I sent ya.

Check out the previous reviews here:

• Internet Writers - Quick Blog Reviews 
• Internet Writers - Quick Blog Reviews II

Back to Our Regularly Scheduled Programming

Holy cow. The River of Mnemonsyne challenge at The Tenth Daughter of Memory is over, and I'll be honest: I'm exhausted. Voting is underway amid some fierce competition and I can't wait until the entire process is over.

It's nice to get back to a much less demanding schedule. Mondays and Wednesdays, for the past couple of weeks usurped by the challenge, are now back in the domain of ranting about things that I feel like ranting about (regarding matters of which you likely care not).

Kind of a pity, really, that I can't think of anything to say. My brain is still trying to dump the story I spent so much time on. Ah, well... I'll normalize in a few days, I'm sure.

Random Musings

In addition to Theme Thursday, I've begun participating in another writing group called Magpie Tales. It's a similar group, but uses an image as a prompt, rather than a word. My only hesitation with the group is that the entries are due on Tuesdays, which (if you take a look at my intended posting schedule) pretty much preempts all of my work to one of the two groups. Where am I going with this? Well, in all likelihood, while I will most certainly participate in both, it's probably not going to be on a weekly basis anymore. After all, there's still the normal bi-weekly The Tenth Daughter of Memory to worry about.

I need to travel. Overseas. I haven't for a while and I can feel it. I'm a bit of a wanderer and I don't like staying in one place for too long. I've received invites to Croatia and Morocco. Anybody else feel like offering a couch?

Been enjoying Chuck on NBC and picked up Burn Notice on USA. Love 'em. Also caught Human Target on Fox, and while I'm a huge fan of the comic books, I'm so far unimpressed with the television version. Lost, however, seems to be recapturing some of its old magic.

I find it hilarious that, due to the dominance of the Canadian and American teams, Women's Hockey might cease to be an Olympic sport.

Speaking of the Olympics... anybody else enjoying their fade into irrelevance? Maybe I'll expand on this at another time, but maybe I won't. I think they need to go back to holding the entire Olympics every 4 years, rather than the 2-year rotation between Summer and Winter.

Eh... that's enough from me for today.

The "River of Mnemosyne" Challenge

I haven't used a snide jerk tone in a while...

It's February. You know, the shortest month of the year. Groundhog's Day, Valentine's Day, Leap Year Day (when we have one). All that.

It's also the month that screws up the scheduling over at the blogging/writing group I helped start, The Tenth Daughter of Memory. See (or don't see... perhaps you're utilizing some sort of Braille-based interface), the creative exercises at 10thDoM operate on 15-day cycles. Obviously, the good ol' second month poses a problem for that. Oh, sure, we could do two 14-day cycles, or we could do one 15-day and take the rest of the month off (of which the admins, no doubt, would have enjoyed). But... no...

Instead, we created a rather insane quasi-competition that involves speed, quantity, and quality of creativity. It's going to be awesome, of this I guarantee. I'm thinking that many will choose not to participate and their excuses will fly ("too busy," "too hard," "not my thing," etc.) like pigs out of a kangaroo's ass. Translated into English, however, all of these excuses mean the same thing: "I suck; I won't be able to keep up; though I brag about how talented I am, this will reveal me as having no talent at all."

So, if you're interested, give it a shot. It'll be fun and there's nothing to lose. I mean, hey, I'm participating and a majority of my work is crap (at least 90% of it, and that's a generous estimate).

Still, if you're scared, say you're scared. We won't mind. We'll just smile and watch as you run with your tail tucked between your legs as you try to take solace in believing all of those ridiculous "oh, this is so good, you should be published" comments on your blog.

Nyah-nyah.

P.S. Because of this, you might notice me not adhering to my posted blogging schedule (count on it, actually), and I might have to forgo Theme Thursday this month. I hope not, but I might be too busy, or it might be too hard, or it might not be my thing. Ah, well.

Eat me.

On Haiti and the San Diego Chargers

Before I get started on a ridiculous rant concerning Haiti, I just want to mention that I'm going to delete the TypePad and LiveJournal mirrors for this blog by the end of the week. If anyone follows via one of those methods (let's see, that should be about... none of you), they'll need to switch to something else. Or just ignore me altogether. I'm used to it.

Haiti

Haiti's messed up. Long the poorest country in the Western Hemisphere, there looked to be little hope for a so-called developing nation that wasn't, well, developing. Now they have a national disaster to deal with, and their outlook is much, much worse.

Yes, it's great that the international community is helping out (led by the United States... just thought I'd mention that) and, yes, there is a growing outside proliferation of Haitians attempting to help the disposition of their home nation (Wyclef Jean, etc.), but does anybody really see Haiti ever rising above and beyond their current status (earthquake notwithstanding)? I'm not claiming that such a feat would be impossible (nothing's impossible), but feasible? How does Haiti have any hope of being able to sustain itself? Even with the high probability (particularly now) of receiving debt cancellation, their reliance on imports and their relatively low amount of exports seems like it will keep them poor for a very, very long time.

So... why not offer them annexation? I mean, really... why not? I understand that it's en vogue to be an independent nation, but sovereign independence at the cost of economic dependence seems a bit empty to me. Haiti could become our 51st state, and as someone who sometimes reflects on the fact that I'm in danger of being part of the first generation of Americans to not live to see a new star added to our flag, I'd support it. And, let's face it, it won't hurt Haiti's standard of living.

Additionally, it would allow us to "politely" back out of Guantanamo Bay and establish not only a valid political and industrial presence in Haiti, but a military one, as well. And that it's closer to Venezuela is (for those who follow our government's strategic decisions) not a bad thing, either.

Do I see it happening? Of course not, but I figured I'd chuck it out there.

San Diego Chargers

The NFL 2009 Divisional Playoffs are done... and so are the Chargers. In a repeat of the 2004 season's playoff game versus the New York Jets, a misfiring Nate Kaeding doomed the Chargers to an early exit from the playoffs.

Kaeding, now the NFL's most accurate kicker in (regular season) history, went 0-for-3 in field goal attempts, leaving 9 points off the scoreboard for the Chargers... who lost 17-14. So, yes, I blame Kaeding. He is the San Diego goat until further notice.

It's generally accepted that the loss against the Jets is going to be LaDainian Tomlinson's last game as a Charger, primarily because he's due a nice paycheck next year, one which is essentially going to overpay him according to his recent output. LDT often claims he'd like to retire a Charger. So, LDT, if you're serious, renegotiate your contract and let the Chargers pay you less. You're already ridiculously rich... put your money where your mouth is.

A shout-out to a couple of bloggers I follow, Brian Miller and Tom, who are extremely happy that the Colts beat the Ravens.

I mentioned previously that I don't think the New Orleans Saints are going to be able to make it to the Super Bowl this year. After last Saturday's divisional playoff versus the Cardinals, I take it back. And, if the Saints make the Super Bowl, I will find myself in the unique position (for me) of rooting for an NFC team.

I'm gonna go sulk now.

Bleh.

Internet Writers - Quick Blog Reviews II

A while ago I wrote some cursory reviews of ramblings that I tend to read. Admittedly, as I tended to stay within familiar circles, most of what I reviewed is material from people who are personal friends of mine (only one was of a blog not written by someone I knew at the time). Recently, however, I've had nothing but time to write and to read the writings of others, both friend and stranger, and am going to pimp out some of what I like.

Now, as a disclaimer, I prefer to talk about people who don't already have fairly large followings, so if you're not on this list, think nothing of it (you're probably on my blog-roll, anyway).

The Alchemist's Pillow - a poet who likes to discuss art in all its forms, this is an interesting blog. There is an underlying intent to the writing found here, and that intent is to make everything seem like a dream. And, I must admit, it usually works. There are occasional forays into reviews and analysis, and those often provide as much insight into the author as they do into the subject being analyzed. Definitely worth a look.

Half-Moose with a Twist - think Dr. Suess and Shel Silverstein, but with an older target audience and a small dose of cocaine. Irreverently funny writing - sometimes poetry and sometimes prose - combined with at-first-glance cute, at-second-glance insane artwork makes for as enjoyable an experience as one can have perusing blogs. Why this place is one of the Internet's best-kept secrets rather than one of the Internet's most popular landing sites is beyond me. Perhaps people don't "get it," but I think that's the point. I don't get it, and I love it!

Heaven in Hell - if you like writing that concerns itself with frustration, as well as writing that is so obviously written in frustration, this is your place. Fiction, creative non-fiction, and poetry are the usual fare, but there are occasional forays into commentary (via diary-esque pieces), and while the frustration sometimes overshadows the work itself, the work always remains intriguing.

The Id's Whisper - a bit rough around the edges, this is home to a deviant imagination unafraid to share unorthodox opinions and somewhat disturbing fiction. What the writer of The Id's Whisper lacks in skill, he makes up for in content. Unfortunately, it's easy to see a lack of patience and motivation in the work, but I'm guessing the blog was created to foster those things. Give it a whirl... you might be surprised. Also, as it is here, pointing out grammar and spelling errors, as well as offering constructive criticism, is welcomed and desired.

It Must Be the Vapors - there are "deep-thinkers" and then there are deep-thinkers. This place is the home of the latter. Offering both subtle and overt commentary, the author of It Must Be the Vapors can wax philosphic with the best of them. Clearly a student of observation, his work is poignant, often critical, and always introspective. And, oh yeah, be prepared to have to read his stuff more than once. Layers upon layers abound.

Check out the previous reviews here: Internet Writers - Quick Blog Reviews

The Tenth Daughter of Memory

As most are aware, it is generally accepted that there are nine Muses in Greek Myth. Sure, there are versions in which there are only three, versions with four, and versions with seven, but let's just work off that there were nine, okay?

Anyway, by the time the various authors of the stories and legends decided to settle on one version (if that's how it happened... I'm thinking there was some bloodshed involved... it was a religion, after all), there were nine. These nine muses were, as follows:

Calliope - Muse of Epic Poetry
Clio - Muse of History
Erato - Muse of Lyrical Poetry
Euterpe - Muse of Music
Melpomene - Muse of Tragedy
Polyhymnia - Muse of Choral Poetry
Terpischore - Muse of Dance
Thalia - Muse of Comedy
Urania - Muse of Astrology

These nine goddesses were the daughters of Zeus (of whom everyone should be familiar with) and Mnemosyne, the Greek goddess of memory.

So, what does this have to with anything?

Well, it's how the name for a little blogging group I helped start came out: The Tenth Daughter of Memory.

What do we do there? We write blogs based on a common theme or topic that is picked by the "winner" of the previous theme or topic. It's fun, creates high-quality stuff, and affords bragging rights to the blogger that takes the most votes. More importantly, it helps inspire people who suffer from writer's block and (for those familiar with my rants) "lack of writer's mood."

Come try it out... if you're not afraid. There's a new topic up today.

Internet Writers - Quick Blog Reviews

Remember a while back when I claimed that I can't write for shit when I'm in a good mood? Yeah, well, the past few days are proving that the claim is true. Since A River in Epirus, pretty much everything has been written with the assistance of alcohol (Barefoot Merlot, to be specific... try some!) and any "happy/sober" mood of mine has prevented the creation of anything worth reading. And regardless of what some might claim, I have been "happy/sober" for the most of the past few days.

In light of this inability to construct anything poetic/prosaic/worth reading, I've decided to point you (my rare loyal reader) to a few other Internet writers. What follows is not, by any means, a comprehensive list of Internet writers/bloggers that I follow... merely blogs that don't currently have a large number of followers and clearly deserve more exposure. I'm sure I'll be ranting and raving about other blogs in the near future.

Without further adieu, here they are:

Caffeinated Joe - probably the only "variety blog" I follow, there's a little something for almost everybody. All-too-rare examples (in my opinion) of fiction, creative non-fiction, and poetry are separated by rampant entries concerning pop culture and reactions to news that can only be described as aesthetic milieu. That may not make much sense to the casual observer, but will undoubtedly make sense to any who already follow Caffeinated Joe. With this one, despite the prevalence of "Theme Days," you never really know what you're going to get.

Death's Conspiracies - a reluctant blog written by an excellent writer who belongs in the world of memoir, but vehemently refuses to partake in it (the author is the dictionary definition of curmudgeon - Hell, I had to set up the blog for him). Death's Conspiracies can come across as a tad conservative, but is undeniably the result of a life lived with eyes wide open and a thought process that is both hardened by painful experience and softened by hopeless romanticism. Much more successful when being straightforward than when occasionally attempting poetic thought, it's still a great read.

News from Nowhere - probably written by the most thoughtful of all the Internet writers I regularly follow, this blog site is written by what I would refer to as a "friendly curmudgeon." There are great glimpses of obscure and long-forgotten moments in British history, touching (and sometimes disconcerting) anecdotes of a life long-lived, and rants and raves concerning progress in the face of nostalgia. Not only that, the author of News to Nowhere reads quite a bit, and if your blog is worth even half-a-shit, News from Nowhere just might even provide a link to your own ramblings.

Not for Jellyfish - a relatively new Internet writer who made the shift from repetitive (and not entirely open) poetry to interesting (and far less inhibited) autobiography. Believe me, this life is built for storytelling. Though perhaps a little too heavy on colorful language that leads to run-on ramblings, the openness of emotion creates an engaging narrative that is hard to dislike.

Tales From a Motherless Daughter - similar to Not for Jellyfish in its unabashed criticism of its author's life, this is another compelling look into a life full of creativity and self-deprecation. This particular author claims that she is a piss-poor writer (based upon an, I believe, misinterpreted criticism from an old college professor), but is quickly revealed to be otherwise. Strangely, she manages quite a bit of honest assessment and revelation in her self-deprecation, which makes her confessions all the more interesting... and sometimes confusing.

Undiluted Expression - a hesitant blog that is interesting for the same reasons as Not for Jellyfish and Tales From a Motherless Daughter. There's not much to go on just yet, but since I'm one of the first followers, I figured I'd pimp it out.

Yoork - undoubtedly the least depressing of the blogs I follow, this one just screams of creativity trying to break out of its shell. Yoork waxes artistic, covering everything from film (mostly independent), cooking, television (usually of some British soap opera called Coronation Street), photography, and illustration. There are also many brief glimpses into the life of a youthful citizen of Toronto who seems to get bored easily and is always on the lookout for something and someone interesting.

Reflections on Chapter One

This book is pretty wild, no? The one called Life, I'm talking about. I'm sitting here rereading many of my old ramblings and realizing that I'm reading about a different person. Strange...

A lot of people subscribe to the philosophy that writers should write for themselves. Yeah, fine. Nothing bad can be said about seeing it that way, but that's not what I do. I don't just write for others, I write at others. Or, at the very least, try to. We can avoid the argument about whether I'm successful or not for the time being.

But I do write at people. I'm finding several entries in which I'm being seriously dishonest (read: outright lying) about someone or something for the sole purpose of eliciting a response. Hell, there are a few cases where I use one thing just to piss off another. To be frank, I find those entries rather embarrassing, but at least I know which ones are true and which ones aren't. Several aren't total deceptions, merely partial ones meant to get someone overly nosy off of the trail I left. Though still embarrassing, I find those a bit hilarious, and take joy in my subjective cleverness, but again... I know which are true and which aren't. Can't say my readers do. Not without asking, anyway.

Of course, as most know (or will learn), being dishonest gets rather tiring. My writing has opened up as of late... since early June, I guess... and is definitely as honest as I've ever been. Maybe that's part of the reason I'm always awake: I no longer exhaust myself by maintaining deceptions. Seriously, I'm even having problems writing fiction, strictly for the fact that I know it's not true. Such a reaction is probably overkill, but I'm sure a few of you know what I'm talking about.

I've been scolded in the past for being "too honest" (usually by liars themselves), and so what? I'd rather be known for having secrets than for telling lies. And I have few secrets left, anyway. Why bother? Too many people seem to think their secrets are more important than they actually are and waste precious energy trying to cover them up with lies. Trust me, most of us don't give a fuck, and we're certainly not impressed. Hell, the more I go back and reread my own work, the less impressed I get.

Still, it's interesting to at least see my states of mind at given points of time. When reading a rant, rave, a lie, or a truth, I can remember where I was and what I really wanted to say, if even it was effectively left unsaid. Hidden messages for myself, in some sense. Perhaps I wasn't writing at others, after all. Who knows?

This book's been crazy, that's for sure. It's time for a new chapter... a reboot, in current hip Hollywood parlance. And despite all of chapter one's shortcomings, I can take heart in that I've never settled for second best. Almost did a few times... but never did. I've never followed anyone blindly, never copied anyone knowingly, made all of my own decisions and all of my own mistakes. And I've certainly never been been so dependent on others that I had to dupe a backup into waiting pathetically in the wings, just in case things didn't work out.

Still, I've definitely fucked up over the years. This chapter's ending pretty much how it began, save for a protagonist slightly wiser. Lessons have been learned. Time to turn the page. Maybe I will write this next one for myself.

Pointless Musings for 2009.5

Tomorrow is Independence Day, which means that we're officially into the second half of 2009 (seriously... July 2 is the half-way point of a normal year). A big move is in the works, and here's hoping it happens sooner rather than later.

This morning I finished transferring my old blog to here. That, I must say, was a pain in the ass. Very monotonous. In case you haven't noticed, I even transferred the comments (the ones that were left, anyway... MySpace blog comments will disappear if a commenter cancels an account... bullshit, I know), which is what took the most amount of time. But, I'm done, and now I can start tagging my stuff. Don't know why that excites me, but it does. I guess I'm just an organizational aesthete.

After months of fighting it, I finally broke down and bought a pack of cigarettes. And, yes, I hate myself. I'm considering giving the pack away, but we'll see how the day goes.

Other than the move, what's on tap for the rest of 2009? Not sure, exactly. I know that I have to turn in two critical analyses for publication sometime in the next couple of weeks. Beyond that, I don't have any solid plans. I don't think I really want to know what's just around the corner, anyway. Not that I don't appreciate scheduling, but I've been kicked around a bit these past few months, and I'd rather not see what's coming. My buddy J informed me that my karma was due for another beating... I'm still wondering where all the good karma went when I was doing "good deeds."

By the way, for those who asked, you do not need a blogger account to leave comments here, as I've left the "anonymous comments" option turned on. And, for those who asked, you do not receive an email when I post something if you subscribe. Apparently, notifications are via feed readers and Google Accounts only (you can use any email to open a Google Account). Perhaps I'm wrong about that, but I'm still learning how this place works, so bear with me. If you don't want to put in the effort (and I won't blame if you don't), you can still follow me on MySpace and Facebook for the time being.

Okay... just notified a buddy that he can have my cigarettes if he comes and gets them.

Yep, this was definitely pointless. Happy New Half-Year!

My Last Space

This is it, ladies and gentlemen, the last entry on MySpace for the foreseeable future. It's becoming evident that MySpace is less and less viable as a platform as the so-called "social networking wars" progress, and that's a bit sad. Personally, I like MySpace better than Facebook, and a lot of the feature implementations are worlds better on MySpace than on Facebook. The chat's better, for one, and the ability to hide entire sections of your "news feeds" that you might not particularly care for is awesome. Not only that, Facebook's blogging (Notes? Whatever...) leaves something to be desired. And let's not forget MySpace Music, which is probably the best music site on the Internet.

Still, as I wrote earlier, I've been a bit unhappy with the blogging functionality on MySpace (specifically with the comments), and MySpace's customer service doesn't seem to care enough to identify and solve the problem. End result: I, like so many others, am off to greener pastures. Unlike so many others, however, I am not deleting my MySpace account, so people can still communicate with me via MySpace comments or messages. I am moving my rants and raves, and short of the possibility of posting links, there won't be any more pointless musings on MySpace.

For those interested, you can follow my insanity at blogger.com, at Irreverent Irrelevance. Anyone with a Google, Yahoo, or AOL account can subscribe to me there. Also, Facebook imports Blogspot entries automatically, so most of you can read my crap there, as well. Eventually, I plan to transfer all of the MySpace entries over there, so anyone who cares doesn't have to jump between sites. Too bad kudos and the "What I'm listening to" feature can't make the jump, as well.

Maybe I'll return one day. Hell, maybe everybody will return one day, given the fickle and trendy nature of "Internet socializing." It'll be interesting to see how MySpace survives losing their Google advertising revenue, and if Viacom will attempt another takeover of MySpace (which they should... MTV is a perfect fit for this place, after all). But, unless that happens...

Au revoir, MySpace.