Friday, December 11, 2009

Long Overdue Useless Opinions

So, I'm having a grand old time in limbo... no, really, I actually am. No responsibilities (save the pets), fewer bills (along with less income, but who cares), and a general sense of "chill." I like "chill," particularly when it's in quotation marks. But I hate the cold... oh, do I hate the cold. Is that irony? I'm not entirely sure, but I'm of the opinion that it is not.

Ah, well.

I'm also having a grand old time redesigning this place, as some can tell. On December 7th (Pearl Harbor day here in the United States) I finally implemented that long-elusive 3-column format here. I could've cheated and simply uploaded a 3-column template from some website, but I like to do things myself. Of course, I had a bit of help finding the right html coding from my friend, Kate W., but I shall forever after fail to attribute any credit to her. In other words: forget what you just read and pretend I did it all myself.

Anyway, I've noticed that this place has evolved from a forum in which I ranted or raved about particular issues (as well as my life) into a exhibition of early drafts of some of my creative work. I'm not sure if it's going to stay that way, but it might, as I find myself almost completely bereft of interest in news and politics as of late. US budget crisis? Who cares? I've been in a budget crisis since 2003, and I'm still around. Universal Health Care? Who cares? I'm a veteran who receives disability from the government (although I do admit that I sorely need to visit a dentist). Um... what else is happening in the world? What? We have a black President???

Ahem... since I have "evolved" (love quotations... LOVE 'em), I'm going to go back to my roots and be superficially opinionated for the day. Without further amusement... whatever...

Onions
Hate 'em. But I eat 'em. And I actually kinda like 'em, so forget I said anything.

Football
American football, mind you; not that overrated European/South American phenomenon that moves way too slowly to be considered a sport. I was going somewhere with this, but I'm lost now...

Democrats
I have come to realize that the term is a contradiction. Democracy is defined as "a government in which the supreme power is vested in the people and exercised by them directly..." But here in the US, at least, Democrats are people who want the government to tell them what to do, how to do it, and then provide for it on top of that. Isn't that oligarchy? Ah, well, I don't really care.

Republicans
There used to be a John Wayne-influenced phenomenon among the right in the United States that "America is a Republic, not a democracy." Yeah, well, look up the definitions of the two... a democracy is, by definition, a Republic. Again, I don't really care, but I just had to point that out.

Daily Cartoons
The sole reason that Saturdays are no longer worshiped by young children anymore. Nickelodeon, you are the Devil!

The Devil
Not real. Enough said. Moving on.

Garlic
I do hate garlic, but I like using garlic powder in the rare instances that involve me cooking something. And I like garlic when prepared by someone who knows what they're doing. So I just contradicted myself again. Big whoop, I do it all the time.

Xhe
I find it odd when I see people using this word. And, yes, there are people using this word. If you have no idea what I'm referring to, read this: He and She Presents: Xhe!

Ninjas
Ninjas are cool. One on one, there is no pirate who can defeat a ninja. However, there are few (if any) ninjas who know how to sail and assault other ships. So, at sea, pirates ARE the ninjas. Anyway, it's a sad state of Japanese cultural affairs when one visits a "ninja school" in Japan and sees nothing but nerdy white guys who essentially make up their own rules of what constitutes ninjitsu and call themselves ninja.

No, that is not a joke. This is what has really happened. It's very disturbing.

Soccer
Or, "association football," is not as cool as American football. So there.

Hockey
Remains the coolest sport to watch.

Sleep
An excellent activity. And it might be calling...

10 comments:

Alan Burnett said...

"American football, mind you; not that overrated European/South American phenomenon that moves way too slowly to be considered a sport". Shame on you sir. Unless you publish a three column retraction within 24 hours I will cancel my subscription.

tony said...

Eveything is better in quotation marks !

Kate Hanley said...

I'm more of an exclamation point and comma girl myself (can't get enough of them!) but quotations are cool. Like the 3 column format a lot!! Also, liked your snowbird poem, I'm a bit late in catching up on blogs.

Brian Miller said...

sleep is good...
ninjas are cool...
cartoon quality sucks these days...
i was going to make this line rhyme, but oh well...lol.

Tom said...

everything you say is either rationally convoluted or ideally agreeable--except the thing about hockey. Ugh..unless you combine it with nascar and landmines, i'd rather spend my time with the dentist!

Kat Mortensen said...

What Alan said.

Kate W. said...

haha...thanks for the (one time) attribution! liked your post, as always.

e said...

I'm with Alan and Kat on this one!

Baino said...

Onions. They're good for you. Apparently if you have a fever and put a couple of slices in your socks they absorb the virus. I haven't tested it.

American Football leaves me cold. Over-armoured boof-heads running into each other. Just don't get it but I love soccer. (Clearly I like to hyphenate)

As for Democrats, we have Labour as our left wing party and Liberal as our right wing party but there's little difference between them. Go figure.

I'll waive judgement on Republicans for fear of being blacklisted from your blog.

Never liked cartoons, which I put in an entirely different bucket to 'animations' (ooh guess I like quotations too.

The Devil's in the detail though.

Garlic, my son is an addict, I hate the smell. Handy around the vampires though I think it has the same effect on them as onions do on viruses.

I'm too fat to be a Ninja

Soccer, wash your mouth out! Might not be fast but it's more skillful.

Hockey . well Ice Hokey is indeed cool.

Sleep . . what's that?

Bitsy said...

Is the the "Nothing Matters Unless It Directly Affects Me" blog? I'm not complaining as I have been there myself, but you might spare a little sympathy for your blog followers who don't have steady jobs and have big health problems. What would you do without me to tell you where you go wrong? "I know everything" indeed. ;)

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