Long Lost Pointless Musings, July 2008

What can I say? It's been a while.

Barack Obama, in a blatant attempt to prove something, is supposedly considering Republicans for Vice President. Will it happen? Likely not; he just wants the "unifying" press. It's all about change, right?

Seriously, both Obama and McCain should select Jeb Bush as a running mate. Imaging the furor that would cause.

Mexico is releasing its first "designed and made in Mexico" car, and I must admit, it looks awesome. It's called the Mastretta MXT and can do 0-60 in under five seconds. Not only that, it's guaranteed to get your farmhands to work on time. Uh oh... I did not just type that. Santa Mierda!

Still, the new Camaro looks like it can kick the Mastretta's ass.

In other news: more irony as two more banks "foreclosed." Suckers. The banking industry is finally realizing that it wasn't them who trapped the American homeowner in a lose-lose situation, it was the other way around.

California is becoming the first state to ban restaurants from using trans-fats. $50 says that someone will eventually discover that trans-fats actually have a biological purpose, and everyone will realize that they just screwed themselves.

The United States Army, in a wonderful PR move, recalled Caleb Campbell of the NFL's Detroit Lions to active service. This was after promising him that he could play in the NFL and serve as a poster boy for recruiting. Again, $50 says some jealous higher ups somewhere purposely fucked that poor guy. Does nobody in the Army realize that the Army's image is suffering at the moment? Rest assured, I will return to this issue in the near future.

Marion Jones applied for a Presidential pardon. Sorry, bitch. You cheated, lied, then lied about cheating. While falling short of treason, you deserve the same treatment Benedict Arnold got. Bitch.

Tori Spelling, already whoring herself out to reality TV in an attempt to brighten her fading star, needs to consider another method to brighten her fading star... like going away.

The Screen Actors Guild is bandying about, unsure of what to do. How about this? GO BACK TO WORK. Fuckers.

Perhaps deceptively trying to convince the American public that the military is truly "up-sizing," the US Navy has reactived the long-dormant Fourth Fleet. However, the truth is that the ships of the Fourth Fleet will theoretically be "on loan" from the other fleets. Go figure.

So Air Force crews are falling asleep at the controls of missile launch sites? Um... does anyone still not agree that this particular organization needs to disappear?

Here's something you probably don't know: the Russians have been to the moon, albeit in the form of a remote-controlled rover. In the 70s. And, yes, decades later we borrowed some of their technology to design our Mars rovers.

Out of Iraq and into Iran? That would be, like, stupidly expensive. Ignoring the politics behind it, why would someone drive from San Diego to Los Angeles by going home to Chicago first?

The San Diego Padres seriously, seriously suck this year. Think letting Bruce Bochy go had anything to do with that? Um... yes.

I just recently watched that "Kirk Cameron can scientifically prove the existence of God" debate. Then I read something Candace Cameron wrote about how "God wants her to serve her husband." I have a question for them: what the fuck is wrong with you?

The Dark Knight was, well, near-perfect. Although Christian Bale's "Batman" voice can really get irritating if he has to put more than five words together at a time. And Maggie Gyllenhaal? Not much of an improvement over the awful Katie Holmes. I'm glad this is no longer an issue.

Honestly, I miss the cold weather.

And, on that note, I'm out.

Where is My America?

America is my home. And I love this place. Sure, there are hiccups in its growth; there always have been and there always will be. That will never change. But the America I see on television and read about in magazines and newspapers is not "my" America. "My" America doesn't seem to exist at the moment, and I'm wondering like Hell just where the fuck it went.

America is an agnostic country. It was set up that way by our Founding Fathers who, though largely Christian, knew that a nation's survival in the future would rely on its ability to be open to all beliefs and philosophies. Don't believe me? Read the Constitution. Find me a reference to the Christian God. And while you're doing so, don't forget to read the passage that states "... no religious Test shall ever be required as a Qualification to any Office or public Trust under the United States." It's in Article VI in case you don't know.

You see, our Founding Fathers didn't want us fighting over religious viewpoints. Why bother, after all? People will believe what they're going to believe. Jefferson and Adams knew there would be enough fighting over pure politics, why bring religion into the mix?

But that America doesn't exist.

Where is my America that banded together for almost 5 years in order to rid the world of the oppressive and dehumanizing regimes of the Germans and the Japanese? Of course there were dissenting opinions, but we were almost completely unified in that cause. Why? Because it was right.

Where is my America that watched in awe as the space race took to the stars? Sure, there were people too poor to follow it on television. Sure, there were people too uneducated to really know what it was all about. But find me someone who was alive back then who didn't at least know it was happening... or who wasn't proud about it. Were were practically unified in that cause. Why? Because we were the greatest nation on Earth and we could do it.

Where is that America? Where is the America who bonded together to support a single cause so clearly right that, regardless of political, social, and religious differences, we had no choice but to support it? Where is the America who bonded together to cheer on human achievement so clearly great that, regardless of background, we couldn't help but realize we were chasing greatness?

Are you gone, America? Are you so distraught at all of the new artificial divisions created by associations, groups, unions, and societies that the next great movement will go unnoticed? Are your people so selfish that individual has moved above country on the ladder of importance? Have you lost the ability to handle your so-called melting pot?

Where are you?

I think you're still there, somewhere. Of course you're there. You're just waiting for the religious, cultural, and social in-fighting to stop long enough to show your true colors again.

You're not worried about the political fight. America was founded on political fighting. The aforementioned Jefferson and Adams disagreed on everything political, yet lived and died the best of friends. I only hope you didn't die with them.

And I know you didn't. Your eagle still flies; it's just looking for a safe place to land. But it won't find it until there's another cause, another chase, that will unify your people long enough to remind them that America is great only because its people can be great.

Too bad they're too busy fighting each other to notice your wings are getting tired.