Where is My America?

America is my home. And I love this place. Sure, there are hiccups in its growth; there always have been and there always will be. That will never change. But the America I see on television and read about in magazines and newspapers is not "my" America. "My" America doesn't seem to exist at the moment, and I'm wondering like Hell just where the fuck it went.

America is an agnostic country. It was set up that way by our Founding Fathers who, though largely Christian, knew that a nation's survival in the future would rely on its ability to be open to all beliefs and philosophies. Don't believe me? Read the Constitution. Find me a reference to the Christian God. And while you're doing so, don't forget to read the passage that states "... no religious Test shall ever be required as a Qualification to any Office or public Trust under the United States." It's in Article VI in case you don't know.

You see, our Founding Fathers didn't want us fighting over religious viewpoints. Why bother, after all? People will believe what they're going to believe. Jefferson and Adams knew there would be enough fighting over pure politics, why bring religion into the mix?

But that America doesn't exist.

Where is my America that banded together for almost 5 years in order to rid the world of the oppressive and dehumanizing regimes of the Germans and the Japanese? Of course there were dissenting opinions, but we were almost completely unified in that cause. Why? Because it was right.

Where is my America that watched in awe as the space race took to the stars? Sure, there were people too poor to follow it on television. Sure, there were people too uneducated to really know what it was all about. But find me someone who was alive back then who didn't at least know it was happening... or who wasn't proud about it. Were were practically unified in that cause. Why? Because we were the greatest nation on Earth and we could do it.

Where is that America? Where is the America who bonded together to support a single cause so clearly right that, regardless of political, social, and religious differences, we had no choice but to support it? Where is the America who bonded together to cheer on human achievement so clearly great that, regardless of background, we couldn't help but realize we were chasing greatness?

Are you gone, America? Are you so distraught at all of the new artificial divisions created by associations, groups, unions, and societies that the next great movement will go unnoticed? Are your people so selfish that individual has moved above country on the ladder of importance? Have you lost the ability to handle your so-called melting pot?

Where are you?

I think you're still there, somewhere. Of course you're there. You're just waiting for the religious, cultural, and social in-fighting to stop long enough to show your true colors again.

You're not worried about the political fight. America was founded on political fighting. The aforementioned Jefferson and Adams disagreed on everything political, yet lived and died the best of friends. I only hope you didn't die with them.

And I know you didn't. Your eagle still flies; it's just looking for a safe place to land. But it won't find it until there's another cause, another chase, that will unify your people long enough to remind them that America is great only because its people can be great.

Too bad they're too busy fighting each other to notice your wings are getting tired.

An Agnostic Form of Government

Keith Ellison, the first Muslim elected to the U.S. Congress, was sworn in yesterday. As a Muslim, he chose not to swear in on the Bible, but on the Qur'an. And not just any Qur'an, mind you, but Thomas Jefferson's personal copy of it. Of course, now that this has happened, Virgil Goode is probably going to convince his constituents that Thomas Jefferson should be dug up and impeached.

The fact that there was even a controversy as to what book an elected representative could or could not swear in upon is not a good sign of the times. We are a country founded on religious freedom. Founded. This was not some post-modern semi-liberal concept that came from the struggle for civil rights or from a pot-smoking sax-playing former President. We were founded on the concept. Freedom for all, regardless of religious persuasion.

Given that, what difference does it make if Mr. Ellison swore in on the Qur'an, the Torah, the Bhagavad Gita, or, why not, the Kama Sutra? Given that, it shouldn't make any difference. Why would you want a public servant to swear on a book that represents something other than his or her beliefs, anyway? Doesn't that sort of negate the whole concept of swearing?

Still, there are those, including myself, that feel that we shouldn't use any type of holy scripture as a pretext to government service. I understand the traditions behind it, and I have no fundamental problem with it, but we are, or should be, an agnostic form of government, and should operate as such.

There's an easy solution, I think, to the holy book problem. One that is as nationalistic as it is appropriate. Why don't we swear our public officials in on a copy of the Constitution and the Declaration of Independence? Our public officials are not elected to serve any one god, or gods, they are elected to serve us, the people, this country. We have two documents that represent the very fabric of this nation. Two documents that are, fundamentally and philosophically, the very fabric of this nation. By swearing our officials in on those two documents, we ensure that they are swearing in to serve us, to serve the United States of America. Not the Christian States of America, not the Islamic States of America, not the Taoist States of America, but the UNITED States of America. And if there were ever an elected official that refused to swear in on those two documents, I'm pretty sure there wouldn't be many people opposed to taking their office away from them.

And, while we're at it, what's wrong with taking "under God" out of the Pledge of Allegiance? It really doesn't bother me that those words are in it, but come on, now. "One Nation, Indivisible, with Liberty and Justice for All" sounds just fine to me.

We are, or should be, an agnostic form of government.

Pointless Musings

What would we make toilet paper out of if there weren't any trees?

The O.C. has been cancelled. There are brains in Hollywood. Now if only we could get rid of One Tree Hill.

A 12-year-old special education student was charged with disorderly conduct after wetting her pants. Wow. I'd be serving a life sentence if I were charged every time I pissed myself. Okay, that's not true... it'd be a double.

I just saw a question on the Internet. Basically, who would you rather invite to a party: Paris Hilton, Jessica Simpson, or Lindsay Lohan? I'd have to say Paris Hilton, because she looks the easiest to knock out when she gets annoying.

Eli Manning's team record in the regular season since he joined the NFL is now a whopping 25-23. The Chargers? A measly 35-13.

Merry Christmas

Merry Christmas, everybody. And I mean that sincerely. I'm even wishing Merry Christmas to all you jerks that don't subscribe to Christmas. That's right, for everyone that celebrates the older Hanukkah and the completely arbitrary Kwanzaa, I'm wishing you a Merry Christmas, too.

I am, as most of you know, as agnostic as a person can get. I don't know which religion is right, I don't know what happens when one dies, and I don't know if there is a God, gods, or just a big bang followed by an assload of evolution. Christmas, to me, is simply a time for family, a time for loving your fellow man in that cliché way, and a time for giving and receiving. That's what it means to me, and you know what? That's a great meaning, if I do say so myself.

I understand the Christian connotation of the holiday, but I also understand the historical pagan significance of it, as well. The nativity scenes don't bother me, Christmas carols don't bother me, and I absolutely fucking love Christmas trees covered in snow. That being said, I respect Hanukkah and what it stands for. In fact, I respect every other religious and pseudo-religious holiday that happens around this time of year. And even though it's a completely arbitrary, faceted, 20th Century anti-establishment invention, I even hold some respect for Kwanzaa. I mean, shit, anything that celebrates Peace on Earth in one form or another is worthy of respect, right?

But what's really starting to irritate me are all the idiotic, ignorant, and self-important assholes that are trying to pigeon-hole Christmas as a holiday that the "white Christian" is trying to "hold down the man" with. Seriously, shut the fuck up.

You hear about the rabbi who complained about the Christmas trees in the Seattle airport? Well, his complaint got the trees removed. Way to go (although, he does have a legitimate point... one I have no problem with, but his dumb ass threated to sue), dickhead. You hear about the person that was so worried about being politically correct that a Christmas choir was ordered to stop caroling because Sasha Cohen, a half Jew who happens to appreciate Christmas, was in the area? Holy fucking cow. ENOUGH ALREADY.

Screw "Happy Holidays." It's "Merry Christmas and Happy Hanukkah."

Yes, it's true that America was founded on what were basically Christian ideals for a "promised land," but they were ideals that recognized the need for what is essentially an agnostic form of government. Thomas Jefferson, Benjamin Franklin, and all the others ultimately knew that peace in the new land would never be accomplished without peace between the religions. That's kind of why the United States doesn't have a state-sponsored religion. It just so happened that most of the inhabitants here (American Indians notwithstanding) were Christian. So, obviously, Christmas took the lead as the primary winter holiday.

But guess what? Over the years, Christmas in America was altered by capitalism and the ever-growing "melting pot" that was the American populace and has become, more than any devout Christian is probably willing to admit, a non-denominational holiday. It is, in this country, celebrated less as the supposed birthday of Jesus Christ, and celebrated more as a time for the (loose definition here) "spirit of Christmas." You know, that fat guy in the red suit with the reindeer on drugs? Last I checked, Santa wasn't in the Bible, and just ask the boys of South Park who would win in a duel, Santa or Jesus.

It's time we looked beyond the religion and alleged ethno-centricity of Christmas, and let the American spirit of Christmas take hold. We're one country, one people, and we deserve to celebrate the end of the year without a bunch of assholes trying to destroy the one thing that lets us love each other without feeling embarrassed about it.

Jerks.