Only in the Film Industry...

True story. So, I'm working on Michael Mann's new HBO television series, Luck, and I'm blown away by the talent. Dustin Hoffman, Dennis Farina, Richard Kind. Crazy stuff. It's a show about the seedy side of horse racing, and it's gonna rock. Is it the next The Sopranos? I dunno, but it's gonna rock.

But, all of that is irrelevant to the story I'm going to share.

A lot of the series is shot at the famous Santa Anita racetrack in Arcadia, California, just a couple dozen miles outside of Los Angeles. And it's shot at the racetrack during hours of operation. Which means there are a lot of people running around trying to prevent racing patrons (read: gamblers) from walking into shots. Luck is not unique in this... every location shoot has to deal with locals. When the cameras are rolling, such dealings are called lock-downs. And they're not always friendly.

As it happens, I was asked to block a rather large staircase AND a rather large hallway. Dustin Hoffman and Dennis Farina were filming a scene (over and over again, I must add) in which they rode up an escalator while discussing betting on a certain horse (that's all I'll reveal about the show... just watch it when it premieres). This staircase and hallway were under said escalator, and the exit the patrons were (or would) attempt to use to leave the track was beside said escalator.

In other words, before I ramble too much, it was rather important to block the exit. So much so, there were three or four "layers" of lock-down. Of which I was the first.

Anyway, most (I'd say 95%) of the patrons simply nodded when informed of the filming, turned and left via another exit. That stated, that 95% was still rather difficult to deal since they either A) were elderly and didn't seem fit enough to take the alternate stairway, B) spoke little or no English (a surprisingly large amount of them didn't), or C) initially pretended that I wasn't standing there talking to them.

But that other 5%... hah! Oh, boy. Two instances stand out. No, wait, three.

1. An old man and an old woman, upon being approached to take another exit, started screaming about how the elderly are mistreated. Right, dude... you've got enough strength to walk the paddock to the betting booths, then up the stairs to the viewing room or bleachers, but not enough to walk around a set. Okay, whatever.
2. A woman, upon being approached to take another exit, said: "I ain't coming here no more. I get disrespected all the time by all these damn Asians" (yes, there are a lot of Asians working at the track, and even more gambling at the track, but I was only one of a handful on the film crew).
3. My personal favorite. A man, who at first seemed polite and attentive, suddenly turned hostile, throwing down his racing program and yelling, "Why don't you go shoot your movie in China?" I responded, calmly, "Because I was born in Florida." Never mind that I'm not even Chinese. And that it wasn't my movie.

I actually found it all a bit hilarious and couldn't stop myself from laughing. Even if I'd been upset by it, watching two great actors (Hoffman and Farina) and standing next to one of my directing heroes (Michael Mann... you can read what I've written about him here) more than made up for any negative experiences from set.

Still, given the pervasive attitudes in America, it's no wonder why I'm moving to Australia.

I love the movies.

Political Incorrectness that Isn’t

Over the years, in my own experience of course, I have discovered a few things:

Telling a deploying soldier "kick some ass" is perfectly acceptable.

Calling gay friends "faggots" and black friends "niggers" is also acceptable. Naturally, what they usually call me back is not printable.

Posting a "That Includes Bible-Thumbing" sign underneath a "No Soliciting" sign on your door saves everyone involved a ton of grief.

Fist fights resulting from left versus right political arguments can acceptably and peacefully be resolved with free alcohol.

"Thou Shalt Not Kill" is a debatable Commandment.

Neo-Nazis are people, too. Stupid people, but people nonetheless.

The cuter an animal is, the better it usually tastes. Which leads to...

Dogs and cats can be eaten.

My incorrect opinion is still better than your correct one.

Kids who think they're cool because they dress in black and listen to punk or emo either A) continue to listen to punk or emo and fail in life or B) change their loser ways and wind up classic rock fans.

Stereotypes are surprisingly accurate, even if not absolute truths.

A single American hostage is reason enough to go to war. Conversely, for other countries, a single hostage of their citizenry is reason enough for them to go to war.

Men and women are not mental and physical equals. They are, however, social equals, and should be treated as such.

Having retarded (for lack of better term) children in our school systems increases the amount of tax dollars we put in to pay for said school systems. Tax dollars better spent elsewhere.

Many of you are referring to me with despicable words right now, and that's your right. Humor me and post some of them. I'm curious.

Clint Eastwood isn't running for President, but I'm voting for him anyway.

The Following People Can Kiss My Ass:

People who feel their phone conversation is more important than the traffic they're in.

Minorities who throw "exclusive" parties, proms, etc., but cry "racist" every time whites do the same.

Raiders fans.

Rich and famous people who feel their fame and fortune is deserved, and not earned. Yes, this is a not-so-subtle jab at certain actors and athletes.

Actors in general.

Dodgers fans.

People who don't like dogs.

Late teenagers in college debating politics like they know something about it.

Members of al-Qaida (al Qai'da; al-Qaeda; al-Queera; al-a-I'm-a-moron).

The writers of Battlestar Galactica, who took a great premise and a great show, and turned it into a inconsistent soap opera not even worth of being called a soap opera.

Religions fundamentalists (any religion).

Extreme leftists.

Extreme rightists.

Al Sharpton, Don Imus, Jesse Jackson, Rush Limbaugh. Bet you never thought you'd see those four in the same sentence in your lifetime...

Bad drivers with those "what would Jesus do?" fish on their cars. Not sure, but I'm guessing he wouldn't be breaking any traffic laws.

Homosexuals who think that everyone who doesn't like gays is a homophobe.

People who don't like gays, including homophobes.

Natalie Portman, for not seeking me out and falling irresistably in love with me.

Helen Mirren, for not seeking me out and falling irresistably in love with me, and for being born 33 years before me.

Jessica Simpson, for playing Daisy Duke when you cleary didn't cut it.

Marge Simpson, for not seeking me out and falling irresistably in love with me, and for not being real.

Wannabe "artists" who think they're already good enough at their art; it's everyone else who doesn't "get it." Oh, yes, you know who I'm talking to.

Those door-to-door college-aged magazine salespeople. Seriously, how long do you think we're going to believe that you're "barely beating your competitors" (ususally guys versus girls), and that you're "this close" to winning a trip to Costa Rica. Word of advice, if you're going to lie about being a communications student from USC, make sure you know the name of the communications program there.

Military "lifers" who think that people who get out to pursue other things are losers.

People who get out of the military to pursue other things who think that military lifers are losers.

The execs at NBC who cancelled The Black Donnellys after hurting its chances by "skipping" an episode. Seriously, how did Jimmy get out of jail?

Anti-war, pro-soldier people. As if that's not oxymoronic at all.

People who quit reading this blog entry before now.

White Supremacists Must Be Boring

Like a lot of people, I read about those white supremacist twins in the last couple of days... you know, the ones who have that Neo-Nazi band that promotes "white purity." The irony of these twins is two-fold. First, their music absolutely sucks. I'm not saying that just because I'm a minority and I hate racists... I'm saying that because their music absolutely sucks. Second, is that the twins are quite cute, and could theoretically be the next Mary Kate & Ashley jailbait countdown if they weren't so, well, stupid.

Anyway, all this shit got me to thinking... White supremacists must be really boring people.

Think about it... they probably don't watch a lot of sports, given the proliferation of non-white athletes. Major League Baseball? Nope. Major League Soccer? Haha... no. National Football League and National Basketball Association? Oh, fuck no. Even honkey-stalwart sports institutions such as the National Hockey League and the Professional Golf Association have been "infiltrated" by >gasp< people of color. I guess that leaves NASCAR... but isn't there a black driver working his way up the Busch Series now? Uh oh.

We've already established how shitty their music is... but lets check off the other arts. Movies? No... Sydney Poitier ruined film for the Aryans years ago... and Will Smith isn't helping them out at all. I guess when the KKK decide to make a short film, they go to the movies, but that doesn't seem very often. Television? No. In fact, are they even allowed to watch television? Since 100% of color TVs in America are foreign made? Can't be supporting those zipperhead Japs and Kim-Chee Koreans now, can they?

While we're on that subject... what do they drive? Ford and Chevrolet are inundated by foreign parts and design influences, so I'm assuming they're out. Do they drive Chryslers? I guess they would, since the Germans own them now.

Do they have cell phones? I'm trying to imagine the Grand Dragon of the KKK calling the head of the Aryan Nation on his Samsung or Nokia camera phone. What about stereos? Seriously... is it against their beliefs to buy non-white made products? Should white supremacists just devolve into a quasi-Amish society? Maybe they'd breed themselves out that way.

Are they allowed to eat oranges since orange groves are largely tended by Mexican workers? Can they eat the foods that have Jewish blessings indicated on them? I guess they have to grow their own food, eh?

Do they even read? I mean, the Chinese developed the art of print, you know. Can they even surf the Internet with their Dell computers with Korean or Malaysian-produced motherboards?

I guess my theory must be sound. White supremacists aren't just ignorantly stupid, they're also stupidly boring.