Political Incorrectness that Isn’t

Over the years, in my own experience of course, I have discovered a few things:

Telling a deploying soldier "kick some ass" is perfectly acceptable.

Calling gay friends "faggots" and black friends "niggers" is also acceptable. Naturally, what they usually call me back is not printable.

Posting a "That Includes Bible-Thumbing" sign underneath a "No Soliciting" sign on your door saves everyone involved a ton of grief.

Fist fights resulting from left versus right political arguments can acceptably and peacefully be resolved with free alcohol.

"Thou Shalt Not Kill" is a debatable Commandment.

Neo-Nazis are people, too. Stupid people, but people nonetheless.

The cuter an animal is, the better it usually tastes. Which leads to...

Dogs and cats can be eaten.

My incorrect opinion is still better than your correct one.

Kids who think they're cool because they dress in black and listen to punk or emo either A) continue to listen to punk or emo and fail in life or B) change their loser ways and wind up classic rock fans.

Stereotypes are surprisingly accurate, even if not absolute truths.

A single American hostage is reason enough to go to war. Conversely, for other countries, a single hostage of their citizenry is reason enough for them to go to war.

Men and women are not mental and physical equals. They are, however, social equals, and should be treated as such.

Having retarded (for lack of better term) children in our school systems increases the amount of tax dollars we put in to pay for said school systems. Tax dollars better spent elsewhere.

Many of you are referring to me with despicable words right now, and that's your right. Humor me and post some of them. I'm curious.

Clint Eastwood isn't running for President, but I'm voting for him anyway.

The Great American Reluctant Job Search

Not sure how much back story is needed here, but most of you know that my budding film career has been reluctantly put on hold. As I try to recover $14,000 from a certain spiteful person (and that's just what's actually owed, never mind the peripheral costs of not having that money), I've been forced to forgo Southern California and attempt to rebuild my bank accounts by, ugh, working.

Funny thing, though... call it an epiphany of sorts... as I began perusing Monster.com, CareerBuilder.com, and the local newspapers for job openings, I started to realize that I don't qualify for anything. I mean, since high school I've done nothing but the military and college. That might sound like a basis for something, but as I'm a firm believer in doing something in the Army that you can't do anywhere else, I've cornered myself in a job market that has little use for a demolitions expert that jumps out of airplanes. And, quite naturally, my college career was rather meticulously designed to support a career in filmmaking. And, quite unfortunately, the filmmaking industry is rather hard to break in to if not in Los Angeles or a few other select locations in the United States.

So, here I am, a guy with two bachelor degrees, an unrelated associate degree, and nine years military experience applying to be an "admin assistant" or a stockboy at a grocery store. And, so far, to no avail. I guess my resume sucks.

The moral of this story? Get qualified in a real job (like accounting or information technology) before trying to follow your dream. And when you do finally decide to give your dream a whirl, make sure insane self-absorbed pieces of shit don't have access to your assets.

And don't give up. Ever.