Randomly Random Randomness (it's June)

So, now that the Anaheim Ducks are NHL champions, everyone is offering their suggestions concerning how to fix hockey's "problems." I was going to do the same, but I don't want to seem like a biter, so I'll wait a week or two.

I bought the book, Thermopylae. I guess 300 wasn't enough carnage for me.

My ankle is killing me. So are some of my toes. Don't ask.

The San Diego Padres are hanging on to first place... somehow.

The Silent Hill series of video games has always been pretty effective at scaring me. The Silent Hill movie was extremely effective at putting me to sleep.

Before anyone touts the "worst movie in the world," go rent Invincible (the one with Billy Zane, not Mark Wahlberg), because THAT is the worst movie in the world.

By the way, the secret to having a good "bad movie" night is to make sure that the movies you pick have at least one redeemable quality. But, hey, at least we had somebody who was good at mixing drinks (thanks, Zoe).

Long drives at night kick ass. Therapy in motion. Until you run over a raccoon, anyway.

I am most certainly moving again in 30 days. Where to is still a mystery, but I am most certainly moving again in 30 days.

I'm watching The Queen and I must reiterate something I've stated many times: Helen Mirren is hot.

The "What the F*ck?" Awards, March 2007

The WTF Diplomacy Award
Iran, with all the recent uproar about wanting to open relations with the West, decided to kidnap a bunch of British sailors. I'm pretty sure they meant open "good" relations, but I could be wrong.

The WTF Movie Award
Homosexual writers tend to think that heterosexual males are fans of the movie 300 because, deep down, heterosexual males are all latently homosexual. Never mind the kick-ass carnage, the historically-based story, and the insanely good cinematography...

The WTF Politics Award
Sean Hannity, right-wing radio pundit, called John Edwards a piece of shit for staying in the Presidential race, implying that Edwards is trying to use his wife's cancer as publicity.

The WTF Music Award
Sanjaya, the talentless, identity-less, teeny-bopper icon has somehow managed to not yet be eliminated from Season 6 of American Idol.

The WTF Television Award
The two pointless new Lost characters, Nikki and Paolo, are eliminated from the show after several pointless appearances, a few pointless lines a dialogue, and a pointless episode pertaining to their pointless existence on the pointless island.

The WTF Science Fiction Award
Just go read any of my previous blogs pertaining to Battlestar Galactica... you'll get the idea.

The WTF Military Award
Not having any sort of clue what to do with Iraq, Afghanistan, or our military in general, the House and Senate voted for a timeline to pull out of Iraq. I'd rather have a timeline to get rid of the Army's embarrassing 'black beret,' but whatever.

The WTF Actor Award
Jeremy Piven, star of Entourage, apparently ran out of money and left a DVD set of his show as a tip after a dinner at an exclusive restaurant.

The WTF Humanitarian Award
Iraq suicide bombers posed as people giving away free flour.

The WTF Health Award
Nicorette gives me gas.

300: The Review; The Controversy

Once upon a time, Frank Miller was much like fellow comic uber-great Alan Moore, in that Mr. Miller wanted Hollywood to have absolutely nothing to do with his comic work. Unlike Mr. Moore, however, Mr. Miller's works have made a stunning (and creator-blessed) return to the silver screen, and we, the audience, get the dividends.

As I mentioned in my "One-Line Review" on my film website, 300 is a veritable tour-de-force of comic filmmaking. It is everything that a comic adaptation could and should be. Colorful, highly stylized, extremely violent, equally sexy, it's a kick ass ride into cinema, as worthy of being called a film as it was of being called a graphic novel.

That being said, it may not be everyone's cup of tea; it's not really intended for the film snob crowd. It is also, again, extremely violent. And, for those who are misguidingly going to see it for the historical effect, it is pretty much entirely historically inaccurate. But, a roller coaster of historically inaccurate violence it is, and that was kind of the point to begin with.

All things considered, it's a good movie. To some, it's a great movie. I have it somewhere in between good and great, but it's certainly going in the DVD collection when it comes out.

Moving on... the controversy.

It seems that some scholars in Iran are complaining about the film, saying it's another prejudiced way in which American Imperialist culture is trying to portray Iranians as a global negative. I mean, what else would a film showing Caucasian Occidentals fighting black and Arab Orientals have in mind?

Um, entertainment, maybe?

I have something to say to those scholars: shut the fuck up. I'm willing to guarantee them that 300, in no way, shape, nor form, was made with any intent to offend Iranians, or any other Persian peoples, for that matter.

Evidence:

1) It's common knowledge that comic book adaptations are popular in contemporary American film culture, and 300 is a product of that popularity. Given that Frank Miller's previous comic adaptation, Sin City, made such a splash, it's only natural that someone obtained the rights for 300.
2) Related to the first point, period war films are also now popular. Personally, I think 300 was more of a reaction to that horrible film called Troy than anything. As in: "Troy sucked, we can make something better."
3) As much as I hate to admit it, I'm pretty sure the average American has no idea that Iran is located in the heart of the former Persian Empire. And since this is the case, I'm pretty sure few Americans in the audience made any sort of Xerxes/Persia/Iran connection.

Case closed. Go see the damn movie.