Friday, May 5, 2006

Star Wars Returns

Well, well, back by popular demand are the original versions of the holy grail of motion picture trilogies: Star Wars. All I can say is: it's about fucking time.

In 1977, a movie was released that damn near everyone who was breathing O2 at the time fell in love with. A movie cursed with 70s technology, a 70s disco influence, flat acting, and a premise so derivative, Oprah would have crucified its author. That movie was, we all know, Star Wars (back then, no one called it "A New Hope," because the nerds hadn't ruined the franchise yet). It was followed by the superior The Empire Strikes Back, and the technically superior, but sublimly ridiculous (thanks to the Ewoks), Return of the Jedi. With these three movies, George Lucas fulfilled his ultimate dream... or so we thought.

Fast forward to the late 1990s, and George, without a hit movie since the last Indiana Jones entry (whose credit, I'm sorry, is more due Steven Spielberg than Lucas), decides to rerelease the original Star Wars Trilogy in theaters. Audiences and fanatics everywhere are inspired, especially as the recently announced new trilogy officially moves into preproduction. The catch, my friends, is that George wanted to "alter" his beloved creations, under the auspices of "improving" them ("Beware the Darkside and its false pretenses," Yoda would have said).

So what do we get? A Han Solo that shoots in self-defense, thereby eliminating his entire growth-from-scoundrel-to-true-hero story arc. A Luke Skywalker that accidentally falls instead of defiantly resisting Darth Vader's will (a mistake that Lucas subsequently reversed in the arguably worse Special Edition DVDs). And a capital city of an Empire that celebrates the very moment its ruler is killed.

All in all, other than the misplaced nostalgia of finally seeing the Han Solo/Jabba the Hutt scene in Episode IV, the only worthy alteration in the "Special Editions" (special eds, for short) are the windows in Cloud City. Everything else: stupid.

Disclaimer: for the purposes of saving time and space, the author's comments pertaining to the horrible Special Edition DVDs and the absolutely appaling "Prequel Trilogy" will be reserved for a future weblog entry. Except for the following comment:

Episodes I, II, and III, can kiss my motherfucking ass! True Star Wars fans hate these movies, sorry, but it's easy to recognize the change in tone (how do you make Star Wars relevant? Umm... you don't), the change in pace (MTV, thanks for making these movies damn near incoherent), and the change in story (literal changes, too, exactly how many contradictions between the two trilogies are there?).

Anyway, these true Star Wars fans have, it seems, finally forced the hand of Lucasfilm, LTD. and 20th Century Fox. Our beloved movies are coming to DVD (packaged with the Special Editions, of course... I guess we can't ask for too much).

1 comment:

Mmm said...

"A Han Solo that shoots in self-defense, thereby eliminating his entire growth-from-scoundrel-to-true-hero story arc. A Luke Skywalker that accidentally falls instead of defiantly resisting Darth Vader's will"

Oh really? I have watched them all but totally missed that. I so agree with you here and the rubbish prequels with EVEN WORSE acting that the original three which at least had a great story line.

I was hoping you were going to say they are redoing the original 1977 Star Wars (always Episode 1 in my book!) but this time with better FX (which were great at the time) and great acting a la Alec Guiness's level! I;d see that for certain. I'd even be ok with some "re-magined" version like BSG was done , if done as well..not catering to snotty nosed kids for money profit only.

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