Thursday, May 11, 2006

Driving, Voting, and That Thing Called High School

To paraphrase George Carlin, think of how stupid the average person is, then realize that half of everybody is dumber than that.

What I'm about to propose is complicated, yet simple; controversial, yet obvious; educated, yet ignorant...

BEFORE ANY LUNATIC MORON OBTAINS THE RIGHT TO VOTE OR THE PRIVILEGE TO DRIVE, he or she should have to pass the simplest of intellectual obstacles: high school (or, as the more intelligent recognize it as: secondary education).

Think about it, there's absolutely no reason that 16-year-old Billy Bob and his cross-town nemesis, D-Bone and the Funk Mafia should be driving to school and raising my insurance rates and automobile taxes. High school education is FREE, so is transportation to said high school. Hey, moron... TAKE THE FUCKING BUS. Traffic's bad enough without you shitbags fucking up the roads.

Disclaimer: I realize there are exceptions to every situation, so before your dumbass attacks me with a "what about..." email, go masturbate and think about it first.

There's also absolutely no reason for an idiot who dropped out of high school to have the right to vote. I'm sorry, you're stupid and can't hack pre-Algebra, and I'm going to trust you to make the right decision in electing our next President? Yeah, right. I'm hoping that I don't have to explain this reasoning further, but I will anyway.

Example: So there I was, attending a fairly liberal college somehow located in a fairly conservative town. Not being of traditional undergraduate age, my political opinion tends to be somewhat different than the oh, so worldly 18-22 year-olds populating our post-secondary education institutions. And therein lies the problem... during the last Presidential election war (read: Kerry versus Bush battling for the title of biggest moron in office), I'm inundated with these freshmen, sophomores, juniors, and seniors, spouting liberal or conservative bullshit based on something their parents said or something they saw on television. In other words: uneducated opinions from uneducated people (I can call them uneducated... there's a reason they're attending college, isn't there?).

Ugh... and that's just the problem with people who HAVE graduated high school. Now, even I'm not naive enough to think the problem can be solved completely, but by eliminating those without high school diplomas (or GEDs, I'm flexible), maybe we can start eliminating those idiots who somehow wind up in office.

Interesting side note: the word "idiot" was originally used to describe those people who chose to remain ignorant to the outside world, specifically, those who didn't feel the need to involve themselves in government and vote. Strangely appropriate, no?

So, there you have it... no high school diploma = no driver's license and no voter's registration. What's wrong with that? And if you think that's a little harsh, just remember that there are those who think that having kids should be illegal without a high school diploma.


Anonymous said...

Sweet Glory!!! Another solutions oriented man. Join me in drafting legislation that will enact an "Idiotness Scale" and hopefully curtail random acts of moron. (For more on morons and the "Idiotness Scale" click on my picture.)

Posted by RockyRob on May 11, 2006 - Thursday - 9:40 PM

joanny said...

sorry Jeff I was not able to finish reading this rant and rave, for I fell off of my chair laughing so hard, ---

signed an intentional environmentalist, now don't attack me for this crazy acknowledgment, but if we are to leave our children with a better world and clean up the air quality and all, and have healthy children - it should there.

just musing don't shoot the messenger


PattiKen said...

Ah, well... Transportation to high school is no longer free. And it's too late to help with the elimination of the idiot electorate selecting the leaders of the land. We are now enjoying the fallout of eight years of their work. And maybe that's why transportation to high school is no longer free.

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