The Manning-Chargers Curse

Peyton Manning and the Indianapolis Colts just lost on NBC Sunday Night Football. Their opponent? The San Diego Chargers. Why do I care? Well, because I'm a Chargers fan and I've long surmised that Peyton and his brother Eli suffer from a Chargers curse.

What's that?

Yep. A Chargers curse. Started by Eli and his overrated dad, Archie Manning.

You see, in 2004, Eli and his overrated dad, Archie Manning, went on record as saying that they didn't want Eli to play for the San Diego Chargers. The reason? Apparently, the San Diego Chargers weren't a team that was committed to winning.

Never mind the logical fallacy involved in a team whose purpose is to make money and that, to make money, winning is a necessity. And never mind the fantastical fallacy involving the existence of curses. I'm ranting. Deal with it.

So... ignoring the fact that Peyton Manning defeated the Chargers the first two times he played them (in 1998 and 1999, long before Eli snubbed the team), his record against San Diego since is 2 wins and 5 losses. Peyton's worst record against any team in the NFL. In fact, Peyton only has losing records against two other teams, and both of those are 0-1.

And, yep, it's his brother and overrated father's fault. Before I continue, some stats:

• Eli's record versus the Chargers is 0-2.
• Their overrated father's record as a starter is 0-3, and Archie's never even been on the roster of a team that's defeated the Chargers in a game.
• Speaking of not being "committed to winning," the Chargers' overall record since the snub is 73-34 (and 3-6 in the playoffs), with no losing seasons. The New York Giants' (Eli's team) record since the snub is 62-45 (4-3 in the playoffs) with one losing season. (If this sounds familiar, I've ranted along these lines before: Ode to Eli Manning.)

Which brings us to Peyton, who is part of the curse via blood relations with the snubber and his overrated father. Sure, he beat the Chargers in 2004, the year of the snub, but he lost to them in 2005 and twice in 2007 (once in the playoffs). Sure, he beat the Chargers in 2008 in the regular season, but the Chargers knocked him out of the playoffs (again) that same year. And, oh, yeah, Peyton and the Colts lost last night... 36-14. And Peyton threw 4 interceptions.

Of course, the curse isn't all all bad... the Manning brothers have each won a Super Bowl. Then again, Peyton lost his second Super Bowl to the New Orleans Saints. The Saints quarterback that game? Drew Brees. Who, oh, yeah, was the Chargers QB when the curse began.

Kinda makes me wish the Chargers would play one of the Mannings every game.

Ugliness in Charger-ville

Somehow they did it. Somehow the Chargers held on after watching a 23-0 lead dwindle to a 23-21 lead. A 23-21 lead that saw the Colts with the ball on the Chargers 11 getting ready to kick the game-winning field goal. Somehow... oh, wait, no... they won because Adam Vinatieri missed two field goals. An act even LaDainian Tomlinson admitted he didn't expect would ever happen.

Darren Sproles and Antonio Cromartie, by themselves, saved the Chargers season. For now, at least. Sproles returned the opening kickoff for a touchdown and later added a punt return for a touchdown. Cromartie intercepted Peyton Manning three times (Manning threw another three during the game and still somehow managed to lead his team within two points of the Chargers).

Sure, LT added a rushing touchdown, but Philip Rivers returned to his "what the fuck is going on and where am I" ways and did just about nothing to help the Chargers, even losing a fumble in the endzone and knocking it into the hands of an opponent, which resulted in a Colts touchdown instead of a Colts safety. Oh, wait, no... he also threw two interceptions.

So, Darren Sproles and Antonio Cromartie saved the Chargers season. Despite everything Norv Turner and Philip Rivers could do to lose the game (Turner even threw two absolutely worthless challenge flags), Sproles and Cromartie saved the season... this week, at least.

As you can probably infer, I'm not celebrating the Chargers victory. I'm actually loathing it. Sure, a win is a win, but I've never missed Drew and Marty so much.

Ugh.

Fun fact: the Chargers are 3-1 versus the Manning brothers since Eli spurned San Diego in the 2004 draft, with only Peyton pulling off a single victory.

The State of the Chargers

Monday night is when it all begins, fellow Chargers fans. Monday night, versus the recently sorry Raiders, we get to have our first preview of whether or not the Chargers took a step back, maintained their pace, or did indeed make a leap forward.

Regardless of which they've done, I must admit that football this year is going to be more interesting for me than it has since, oh, the Chargers last went to the Super Bowl. This new interest isn't just sparked by the new team, either. In fact, at the center of it all are three people who aren't even Chargers players.

Let's start with the least controversial: Drew Brees. Say what you want about this guy; I love him. He sparked the Chargers back to "fuck Eli Manning" (hell, AND Peyton Manning) respectability. He took us to our only playoff game since Stan Humphries was under center. He was a great leader on an improving team and, I believe this entirely, given another few years, he would've been the face of the Chargers... sort of like a little known guy named Fouts. But, A.J. Smith, a very smart and devious man decided to fuck Mr. Brees, and now the New Orleans Saints have him. For this reason, I will be watching two teams this season... the Chargers... and, of course, the Saints.

Since I've already mentioned him, let's swing to A.J. Smith. Even though Bobby Beathard managed to stock the Chargers to a Super Bowl, I'm of the opinion that A.J. Smith is the best GM that San Diego has had since, well, ever. One might be able to argue the quality of the "Air Coryell" team, but one might also be able to argue that only the offense of the "Air Coryell" team was quality. Anyway, A.J. Smith... a smart, selfish, and very devious man... the best GM in Chargers history. If anyone thinks for a second that A.J. Smith didn't smile when Drew Brees went down at the end of the 2005 season, you're dead wrong. Smith, like Butler and Beathard before him, LOVES to play his own players, his own draft picks, his own acquisitions. If you recall, Drew Brees was not his, but Butler's. If you don't believe me, look who else the Chargers have let go at seemingly inexplicable times: Seau, Harrison, shit, even Leslie O'Neal. Face it... we always get prima donna general managers.

To the point... this is Smith's year to prove he's a genius, or to prove he's an idiot. Should Brees do well (or even decent) and Rivers fail in any measure of the word, Smith will forever be known as "that guy." Should Brees falter and Rivers do well, or even if they both do well, then Smith will escape the guillotine. Personally, as someone who was in North Carolina for the entirety of Rivers' collegiate career, I hope they both do well, but I still can't help but feel that Smith screwed Brees... and loved doing it.

The third person that will make this season interesting? Well, it's more like a family and not an individual person. Yep, you guessed it... the Spanos family. Although I have a future rant reserved for the possibility of the Chargers leaving San Diego, I figured I'd mention them here for posterity's sake.

Well, enough about what I think... let's just start wishing for a winning season... and maybe, just maybe, a run at Super Bowl XLI. I've got my fingers crossed for Rivers, McNeill, and McCree, the three pieces that are supposed to (almost) complete the Chargers' puzzle (although Rivers is more of a replacement piece than a new one). And yes, I'm crossing my fingers for Steve Foley, as well. It's not every day that a Chargers player gets shot three times, no.

I'd also like to mention that I was recently afforded the opportunity to chat with Cecili Chadwick, the hottest Charger girl of all time (mid to late 90s, for those who follow that sort of thing). She's super-hot, super-smart, and super-intimidating. And she's super-hot.

Go Bolts!