The Manning-Chargers Curse

Peyton Manning and the Indianapolis Colts just lost on NBC Sunday Night Football. Their opponent? The San Diego Chargers. Why do I care? Well, because I'm a Chargers fan and I've long surmised that Peyton and his brother Eli suffer from a Chargers curse.

What's that?

Yep. A Chargers curse. Started by Eli and his overrated dad, Archie Manning.

You see, in 2004, Eli and his overrated dad, Archie Manning, went on record as saying that they didn't want Eli to play for the San Diego Chargers. The reason? Apparently, the San Diego Chargers weren't a team that was committed to winning.

Never mind the logical fallacy involved in a team whose purpose is to make money and that, to make money, winning is a necessity. And never mind the fantastical fallacy involving the existence of curses. I'm ranting. Deal with it.

So... ignoring the fact that Peyton Manning defeated the Chargers the first two times he played them (in 1998 and 1999, long before Eli snubbed the team), his record against San Diego since is 2 wins and 5 losses. Peyton's worst record against any team in the NFL. In fact, Peyton only has losing records against two other teams, and both of those are 0-1.

And, yep, it's his brother and overrated father's fault. Before I continue, some stats:

• Eli's record versus the Chargers is 0-2.
• Their overrated father's record as a starter is 0-3, and Archie's never even been on the roster of a team that's defeated the Chargers in a game.
• Speaking of not being "committed to winning," the Chargers' overall record since the snub is 73-34 (and 3-6 in the playoffs), with no losing seasons. The New York Giants' (Eli's team) record since the snub is 62-45 (4-3 in the playoffs) with one losing season. (If this sounds familiar, I've ranted along these lines before: Ode to Eli Manning.)

Which brings us to Peyton, who is part of the curse via blood relations with the snubber and his overrated father. Sure, he beat the Chargers in 2004, the year of the snub, but he lost to them in 2005 and twice in 2007 (once in the playoffs). Sure, he beat the Chargers in 2008 in the regular season, but the Chargers knocked him out of the playoffs (again) that same year. And, oh, yeah, Peyton and the Colts lost last night... 36-14. And Peyton threw 4 interceptions.

Of course, the curse isn't all all bad... the Manning brothers have each won a Super Bowl. Then again, Peyton lost his second Super Bowl to the New Orleans Saints. The Saints quarterback that game? Drew Brees. Who, oh, yeah, was the Chargers QB when the curse began.

Kinda makes me wish the Chargers would play one of the Mannings every game.

Drop Kicks in American Football

In a month the 2010 NFL season will be upon us. Football (and I mean American football, for my overseas friends) is one of the world's most brutal sports. And, for whatever reason, it gets somewhat of a bad rap internationally. Often I hear the complaint, "why is it called football?" and, I must admit, such complaints make me chuckle.

To the international community, "football" is, as we call it in the United States, soccer. More accurately, football is "association football" (the term "soccer" comes from some weird abbreviation of this). Even more accurately, there are two international sports that are properly known as football: association football and rugby football. Despite the general belief, American football is not, nor has it ever been, related to or descended from association football/soccer. What it is, like Canadian football (and to an extent, Australian football), is an evolution of rugby.

And, in typical rebel fashion, we Americans played around with the rule-sets of established conventions until "rugby football" became two distinct sports in the United States: rugby and football (how's that for stating the obvious?).

But, such is not the purpose of this rant. The purpose of this rant is to propose an idea to bring back the all-too-forgotten aspect of American football: the drop kick. For despite it's legality in the National Football League, it has only been used one time in professional football since 1948. Doug Flutie, in the last play of his professional career (which spanned three football leagues), kicked a drop kick for an extra point, no doubt the result of a wink-wink by New England Patriots coach Bill Belichick.

*If you're not a hardcore football fan, and you happen to still be reading, there's really no point in continuing on.

In short, I'd love to see the move make a comeback, if only to add more strategy to the game. I have no solid idea how to implement and encourage such a return, but what if American football did borrow a page from association football (cough, soccer, cough) and allow the ball to be advanced in any direction by drop kick (by any player) once the line of scrimmage has been passed?

Such a rule might make American football a tad too chaotic (and lead to even more injuries), but how cool would that be?

Obviously, you wouldn't want to curtail the existing rules for the drop kick, so it would have to remain an option for a field goal or a PAT. And as long as the drop kick is attempted from behind the line of scrimmage, that shouldn't be too hard to allow (or enforce). Naturally, since drop kicks touch the ground, they would not be allowed as a form of punt.

There would probably also need to be a differentiation between drop kicks-for-score attempted behind and beyond the line of scrimmage. 2 points for beyond, 3 points for behind (keeping it in line with field goals) sound good? That would also afford the possibility of drop kicks as PATs to become rather interesting (1 or 2 points, depending on where it's done? Unlikely, sure, but why not? Drop kicks are already highly unlikely).

Then consideration for what to do with missed drop kicks-for-score would need to be had. Maybe beyond the line of scrimmage, a drop kick-for-score is a live ball and, unlike a kick from scrimmage, can be advanced by the kicking team? Drop kicks that go out-of-bounds are placed at the point of dropkick. Drop kicks that go out of bounds in the end zone result in a change of possession and a touchback.

Whoa... that just convoluted the game, didn't it? Forget I mentioned anything.

The 2010 Chargers Draft

I'm no draft expert and I don't claim to be. I don't follow college football closely and the players that teams pick are, for me, usually a surprise. I also think that many rookie NFL players are despicably overpaid and I wholeheartedly support a draft position-based pay scale. That stated, I do get as excited as the next guy over who my team (the San Diego Chargers, in case somebody hasn't noticed yet) picks during the NFL's annual meat market.

Yes, I criticize the general manager of the Chargers (A.J. Smith) quite often. Not because of his skill as a GM, but because of the oft-callous nature he treats his "employees." I understand that players get old and lose value, but I also understand the value of continuity and, for lack of better term, legacy. Say what I will, though, A.J. Smith knows how to pick players.

Anyway, here's who the Chargers acquired, accompanied by some of my painfully uneducated thoughts.

1. Ryan Mathews - RB - Fresno State - the heir-apparent to the departed LaDainian Tomlinson (now known as "Complainian" for the disrespectful manner in which he behaved upon leaving the Chargers), this guy averaged 157.5 yards per game his last season in college (per game???) and 6.55 yard per carry. The Chargers spent an awful lot to get this guy (their 28th, 40th, and 126th picks in the draft, plus LB Tim Dobbins to Miami... in return they got Mathews with the 12th pick, and received Miami's 110th and 173rd picks), and while I don't really see him filling LDT's shoes, if anyone could, this guy is it.

2. Donald Butler - LB - Washington - another "shocker" results in the Chargers trading up again, this time swapping their third-round pick with the 49ers (the Chargers did not have a second-round pick after the Mathews deal). San Diego also gave up their 173rd pick and a fourth-round pick in 2011. Call me crazy, but I think A.J. Smith seems relatively confident that most of the pieces are already in place for a run at the Super Bowl. Anyway, it's obvious that given the Shawne Merriman situation (he might not be a Charger much longer) and the Dobbins trade to Miami caused Smith to go for another linebacker. We'll see how this one pans out.

And the rest:

3. Darrell Stuckey - FS - Kansas - with the 110th pick, the Chargers drafted this guy to compete for the starting strong safety position (currently held by Kevin Ellison, opposite free safety Eric Weddle).
4. Cam Thomas - DT - North Carolina - the Chargers traded their 159th pick and next year's fifth-rounder to the Eagles in order to pick a new nose tackle at 146.
5. Jonathan Crompton - QB - Tennessee - after sending Charlie Whitehurst to the Seahawks (for a steal), the Chargers pick their new third-string quarterback with pick 168 (a compensatory selection).
6. Dedrick Epps - TE - Miami (FL) - not sure why, but with their final pick (235), the Chargers took a tight end.

Next up are the undrafted free agent signings, which is where A.J. Smith makes his money. Bring it on.

San Diego Chargers: Long Live LDT

Well, the expected has happened: LaDainian Tomlinson, the face of the San Diego Chargers for most of the past 9 years, has been released due to a cost-cutting move (there is, currently, no salary cap for the 2010 season, so that's not the excuse). Do I like the decision? Of course not. Do I agree with it? Part of me does, but part of me doesn't. Sure, he had an off-year, but athletes are allowed those (aren't they?). That this is the third year in a row he's shown a decline and that he is over 30 years old is what sealed his fate, but I call bullshit.

Whatever... there's a small chance he'll resign with the Chargers, but I'm not holding my breath. So until something miraculous happens, I'm just going to assume that what's done is done, and I wish LDT the best in the remainder of his career. I can think of other Chargers let go because of cost-benefit analyses who wound up being effective players for YEARS after their release (Junior Seau, Leslie O'Neal, Drew Brees, Ben Leber), but in typical A.J. Smith fashion, such phenomena are ignored.

Anyway, there's now talk that the Chargers will trade Antonio Cromartie for a proven, veteran running back to fill LDT's shoes. That is the most likely scenario, followed closely by A.J. Smith's love for building through the draft. Outside of these two options, Chargers fans are (so far) relegated to pipe dreams.

However... there's a third option that I've been mulling since before the Chargers season so painfully ended against the New York Jets in the divisional round of the playoffs: acquiring a new backup (via whatever method) and reshuffling their existing roster.

Given that LDT is gone, the Chargers are left with Darren Sproles and Michael Bennett at halfback and Jacob Hester and Mike Tolbert at fullback. Sproles is not an every down back (and might not be retained, anyway) and Bennett is likely to follow Tomlinson into "old man" territory and be released in the next couple of years (if not this one). Which leaves Hester and Tolbert.

Think about it. Hester is not a true fullback, and if one were to compare Hester to the other Charger running backs from the 2009 season, his closest comparison is... oh, snap... LaDainian Tomlinson. Tolbert IS a true fullback (a good blocker, a good runner, and a good receiver), and is a much better fit for offensive setups that require a bona fide fullback. Both runners place high on A.J. Smith and Norv Turner's list, and it's not inconceivable to me to see a HB/FB combo of Hester and Tolbert filling the San Diego backfield for a long time to come.

Is it likely? No, but I'm still surprised that no Chargers beat writer has presented the possibility.

We shall see, I suppose.

Congratulations, Drew Brees

So... I picked the Colts out of an objective analysis, but I pulled for the Saints, marking the first time I've ever clearly rooted for an NFC team in the Super Bowl (ignoring the Patriots-Giants Super Bowl, in which I didn't really root for either team). Not that I'm a Saints fan or part of the "Who Dat?" Nation, or even because I'm supporting Katrina victims vicariously through the New Orleans football team. Long time readers of mine know why I pulled for the Saints... and that reason is Drew Brees.

No, I'm not happy the San Diego Chargers (my favorite team, in case anyone hasn't noticed yet) were knocked out of the playoffs. No, I'm not even happy that Brees won a title before the San Diego Chargers (regardless of who their quarterback happens to be). I'm just happy that Brees won.

In San Diego, he proved he was willing to put in the extra effort to succeed (he won the Associated Press' NFL Comeback Player of the Year Award in 2004), and was "rewarded" with a ticket out of town following an injury in a meaningless game. Though I love my Chargers, I supported Brees then, and I've never wavered. Hell, in his first year in New Orleans, he shared the Walter Payton Man of the Year Award with his old teammate and good friend, LaDainian Tomlinson.

Simply put, the man will do what it takes to be the best.

And now, with a Super Bowl ring and a Super Bowl MVP Award, that's exactly what he is.

At least for a year.

Congrats, Drew! Well-played, my man.

Football Musings

Even though I'm upset Drew is no longer in San Diego, I'm quite happy with his replacement, Philip Rivers.

The Chargers will win the Super Bowl next year. Well... I'll reserve that statement until after their running back controversy resolves itself.

I think Jim Caldwell, the head coach of the Indianapolis Colts, is out of his league. Again, I'll reserve final judgment until we see how the Colts respond to their Super Bowl loss (not to mention Caldwell's decision not to go for an undefeated record) next season.

I'm interested to see whether the NFL plays football in 2011. With the existence of two competing professional football leagues (and the possibility of a third), I'm thinking they will. If they don't, however, I predict a significant loss of power for the NFL in regards to maintaining their monopolistic hold on America's favorite sport.

That's all, folks!

NFL Special: Divisional Weekend

No, you're not imagining things... there was an Irrewind scheduled for this week, but due to the NFL playoffs it's been moved to next Saturday so I can rant and rave about football. Many of you have already quit reading by this point, but for those of you who remain:

Let's go Chargers!

So, last week I was 2 for 4 in my picks. I picked both games on Saturday correctly (Cowboys over Eagles; Jets over Bengals), but blew both games on Sunday (Patriots lost to the Ravens - in spectacular fashion, I might add; Packers lost to the Cardinals - in a nail-biter).

This means that the Cardinals play the Saints today at 4:30 Eastern, and the Ravens play the Colts at 8:15 Eastern. Tomorrow, Dallas is at Minnesota (1:00 Eastern) and my beloved Chargers host the New York Jets at 4:40 Eastern.

Granted, I was hoping the Patriots would've beat the Ravens, because that would've resulted in the Patriots at San Diego, and the Chargers certainly owe them one (actually two... the Patriots have been responsible for two of the Chargers' last three exits from the playoffs). But it's not so bad, as the Chargers still owe the Jets for being knocked out their first game of the 2004 season Wild Card game (an overtime loss, I might add).

Anyway... enough whining. On to my picks!

Which are easy, as I'm picking each home team (Saints, Colts, Vikings, Chargers). The Saints will win in a nail-biter, while the other three teams will win very convincingly.

NFL Musings

As much as I can't stand the Rooney Rule regarding coaching hires, I understand its intent. That stated, I wholeheartedly believe that both the Redskins and the Seahawks made a mockery of the rule, only interviewing minority candidates to satisfy the rule stipulations, and not with any real intent to hire a minority.

Pete Carroll's off to the Seahawks, eh? Does he really want another shot in the NFL, or does he just want to get away from USC before the shit hits the fan regarding various NCAA rule violations? I'll be fair: both.

Charger Musings

Even though the underrated Malcom Floyd is wearing the number, I really think that the Chargers should retire #80. Kellen Winslow? C'mon, dudes... there aren't a whole lot of players in the Pro Football Hall of Fame as Chargers. Winslow's one of them; let's give him some respect.

On that note, the Chargers should retire #18, too (Charlie Joiner... who also happens to be the current wide receivers coach for the Chargers). And #74 (Ron Mix). And maybe even #71 (Fred Dean... although I'll accept arguments against this one).

Once again: Go Chargers!

To the Chargers: Norv Turner, I'm Sorry

Norv Turner, your second and third-string players succeeded in defeating the first-string players of the Washington Redskins, thereby giving the Chargers their second-best season finish in history (13-3). And even though the Chargers might lose to whomever they play in the divisional round of the playoffs, the fact remains that you got them there. I mentioned a while back that I'd call myself out and apologize to you, so here it is:

All Apologies to Norv Turner

I'm sorry. I was wrong. You, sir, are a pretty good head coach.

I was wrong when I suggested that your 11-5 finish in your first year as coach of the Chargers was merely part of the hangover left by the 14-2 Chargers of Marty Schottenheimer.

I was wrong when I implied that you were not a disciplinarian and could not hold a team together for an entire season.

I was wrong when I hinted that, as a head coach, you were too far removed from the quarterback position to be able to turn Philip Rivers into a true bad-ass.

I was wrong when I theorized that your hire was based on being a false figurehead with which A.J. Smith could play the entire team as pawns.

I said at the beginning of the 2008 season, after the Chargers lost to the Panthers in the season opener, that I would consider you a good coach should you have two more winning seasons. And despite 2008's regular season record of 8-8, you won the AFC West and beat the Indianapolis Colts in the wild card game, so I count that a winning season (Chargers great Leslie O'Neal said it best: "No season's a winning season if you don't make the playoffs.")

On November 17, 2008, I wrote that you should be "kicked to the curb."

I'm sorry. I was wrong. Here's hoping you, Mr. Turner, get a kick-ass extension!

*I just have to mention that I also initially opposed the hiring of Marty Schottenheimer, who (say what you will) was responsible for the Chargers' elevation out of the NFL's basement. What's my point? I guess I should shut up about coaches.

... nah...

Charger Musings

In all likelihood, neither LaDainian Tomlinson nor Shawne Merriman will be Chargers next year. Let's face it... Philip Rivers notwithstanding, LDT is the face of the San Diego Chargers offense, if not the the Chargers as a whole. Merriman, on the flip side, is the face of the Chargers defense (despite being outperformed by other Charger defenders this past season). I get that A.J. Smith prefers business being cold and hard, and it does seem to have worked out for him so far, but part of the front office side of football is marketing... so is it really a good idea to let either (or worse, both) LDT or Merriman go?

Speaking of "cold" and "hard" (feel free to roll your eyes now), Vincent Jackson saved his job as a Charger this season... because you know A.J. was gunning for him after that second DUI. Funny how success makes bedfellows.

Ron Rivera, the Chargers defensive coordinator whose attitude (if not scheme) helped save the Chargers defense from Ted Cottrell's ineptitude, might be the next head coach of the Buffalo Bills. That would suck (for us), but I think he's shown that he deserves a shot at being the guy.

Can anyone imagine how devastating the Chargers defensive line will be if Jamal Williams makes a successful return to form? Holy cow.

And, in all my fearlessness, I will predict it now: The Chargers will win the Super Bowl. And while I would love for the Saints to be their opponent (Rivers vs. Brees... how cool would that be?), I don't think the Saints are going to make it. That stated, I shall reserve my NFC prediction until after Wild Card Weekend.

Speaking of predictions:

Wild Card Predictions for the 2009 Season Post-Season that actually plays in 2010:

New York Jets over Cincinnati Bengals, barely.

Dallas Cowboys over Philadelphia Eagles, barely.

New England Patriots over Baltimore Ravens, strongly.

Green Bay packers over Arizona Cardinals, barely.

(yes, I'm thinking this upcoming weekend will be packed with close games)

Introducing the AFC West-Champion San Diego Chargers

Can a day be better for a football team? Well, sure, but not by much. Before the first quarter between the San Diego Chargers and the Cincinnati Bengals was even finished, the Chargers had already clinched a playoff spot (thanks to losses by the Miami Dolphins, Jacksonville Jaguars, and New York Jets). Once the Chargers defeated the Bengals (an extremely close 27-24), the Chargers had locked up the division. That the second place Denver Broncos lost to the Oakland Raiders in the final seconds of that game was just icing on the cake.

This marks the first time in team history that the Chargers have won the division four years in a row (they've won it three times in a row twice before: from 1963-1965 and from 1979-1981).

All that's left to do now is to lock up a first-round bye (homefield advantage has already been assumed by the Indianapolis Colts). Hopefully the Chargers can do that against the Tennessee Titans on Christmas Day.

I may not seem like it, but I'm ecstatic. Since becoming a true Chargers fan in 1987 (I was merely an "associated" Chargers fan prior to that), I've endured 13 .500-and-below seasons (not counting the 8-8 season in which they somehow won the division), including a dreadful 1-15 season in 2000. But, unlike some other fans I know (both of the Chargers and of other teams), I've never wavered in my loyalty to the lightning bolts. In fact, other than the Drew Brees-led New Orleans Saints, I don't think I've ever even rooted for another team.

Anyway, anyone who's interested can read about the game elsewhere... I'm just going to drop some kudos.

Charger Kudos

Quentin Jammer - that interception of Carson Palmer on a Cincinnati 1st-and-10 more than made up for that interception you should've had earlier in the game.

Vincent Jackson - five receptions for 108 yards and two touchdowns? You rock. Also notable is that with those yards, you've given the Chargers their first tandem of 1000-yard receivers (along with Antonio Gates) in over two decades.

Philip Rivers - even though you threw two interceptions, you also three three touchdowns, and that made all the difference.

Kevin Ellison and Alfonso Boone - for sacking Carson Palmer. Extra kudos for Ellison, as it was his first sack ever.

Nate Kaeding - your first game-winning field goal ever (according to radio announcer... not sure if that's true, but will check on it) and a 52-yarder at that. I'm a fan, and I still find it odd that you're the most accurate field goal kicker in the history of the NFL.

Norv Turner - yes, I might be coming around.

Ron Rivera - keeping the defense together with a lot of pieces missing and/or injured.

That's all for now, though the entire team probably deserves kudos... Go Chargers!

Introducing the AFC West-Leading Chargers

In the absence of my beloved DirecTV NFL package, I was forced to listen to the Chargers-Broncos game on my Sprint phone (thank Buddha for NFL Mobile!). So, in other words: I didn't get to see the Chargers take first place in the AFC West from the evil Denver team, but I did get to hear it. And, I must admit, I rather like radio play-by-play. I like it even better when the Chargers win by a score of 32 to 3.

Oh, yeah... 32 to 3. Hey, Broncos fans! You suck!

I actually expected this game to be a bit closer than it was, given that the Broncos defeated the Chargers earlier in the year, but it was pretty much a one-sided affair from the opening kickoff to the closing second. So, with this victory, the Chargers (who were 2-3 after the last time they played the Broncos) kicked the Broncos (who were 6-0 after the last time they played the Chargers) out of the top spot. Result: Chargers in 1st at 7-3; Broncos in 2nd at 6-4. The other two teams in the division are so far behind, there's no point in mentioning their respective records.

Game Notes

After scoring a field goal in the 3rd quarter to close the gap from 13-0 to 13-3, the Denver Broncos attempted an ill-advised onside kick... recovered by the Chargers (Legedu Naanee). A few plays later, LaDainian Tomlinson ran in a touchdown to make the score 20-3. Nice one, Coach McDaniels.

The two Chargers fullbacks both rushed for over 45 yards with more than 6.5 yards per carry (Jacob Hester: 7 attempts for 46 yards; 6.6 yards per carry - and Mike Tolbert: 7 attempts for 58 yards; 8.3 yards per carry). Tolbert even added a rushing touchdown. And to think... they were going to cut Tolbert before the season started.

Antonio Cromartie added an interception, his third of the year.

Steve Gregory recovered two fumbles (one each forced by Sean Phillips and Jacques Cesaire). It was the first time a Charger had recovered two fumbles in one game in a very, very long time.

Kevin Burnett had two sacks, and Eric Weddle had one.

Some bad news: Nate Kaeding, despite having an otherwise excellent game (four field goals) had an extra point blocked. Whoops!

I love blowouts.

Pet Musings: October 12, 2009

Well, well... this week has turned out to be an eventful uneventful week, and I just figured I'd share a few things concerning my dogs and cats...

As some of you are aware, my two lost dogs have returned to me. They were gone for 94 hours (from Sunday at 3:00 PM to Thursday at 1:00 PM) in a place that they were unfamiliar with. I posted an ad on craigslist.org, went to the local animal services, and was about to put up about 50 fliers in the neighborhood they disappeared in when, in typical fashion (don't ask), I watched in relative disbelief as my two dogs walked down the road towards the very spot I was standing. Also in typical fashion, they didn't seem to think their disappearance was a big deal, although they were both a few pounds lighter. Jerks.

My German Shepherd (you know, the loyal dog that DIDN'T run away) was at first extremely happy to see the other dogs, but quickly realized that all the one-on-one attention he had been receiving had gone away. So, he did the grown-up thing and cried all freaking night because there was no half-asleep guy sleeping in an open garage throwing him the tennis ball at 2 in the morning.

One of my cats made a break for it on Sunday (yesterday at the time of this posting), primarily because they've been stuck living in the bed of my truck for an extra week, thanks to the missing dogs. And now, due to occupational requirements, they're going to stay in the bed of my truck for yet another week because I have to finish a book and submit a critical analysis by the 23rd... and driving across country isn't really conducive to that.

Pointless Musings

The San Diego Padres finished the season with 75 wins and 87 losses... good enough for 4th place in the National League West. Crappy, I know, but a far cry better than the 5th place they held for most of the season. Ah, well... there's always next year.

Thank you, NFL Mobile (only on Sprint) for allowing me to catch last Sunday's Pittsburgh-San Diego game when I was devoid a television. And thank you, NFL, for scheduling a Chargers bye week this Sunday while I was still devoid a television.

This just in: I am reactivating all of my paper bills from all of my utilities and banks. Not having the Internet whooped my ass last week, and I ain't letting that happen again.

Eh... I'd complain about more things, but I'm tired. I'll be returning to form in a couple of weeks (I think).

2009 Chargers Season Opener: A Raider Scare

And we're off! And what a way to start the season... the butt-of-all-jokes Oakland Raiders almost (almost) upset the San Diego Chargers. In fact, the Raiders opened up the game with a 7-0 lead, continued with a 10-7 lead, wound up with a 13-10 lead in the 4th quarter. The Chargers, however, went ahead 17-13, only to fall behind Oakland 20-17, and pulled off a 24-20 victory with 18 seconds left in the game.

Here it comes: Hey, Oakland fans, YOU SUCK!

Okay, not really. I, for one, am a huge fan of parity in the NFL, and feel that the Raiders have been in the league's basement long enough... so, well played Raiders. That stated, I do prefer for the Chargers to always kick some serious ass. I endured enough losing seasons, you know?

Go Chargers!

Game One Heroes

- Congratulations to LaDainian Tomlinson and Darren Sproles for each scoring a rushing touchdown.

- Congratulations to Quentin Jammer (who just might be my favorite Charger) for getting an interception (those who are in the know realize just how rare a QJ INT actually is, despite him being one of the best cover corners in the game).

- Congratulations to new Charger Ogemdi Nwagbuo for recording the first sack of the season.

Former Charger Musings

 - Michael Turner didn't fare so well with the Falcons in their game opener, but he did enough to keep Atlanta in the win column (22 rushes for 65 yards). I don't really like the Atlanta Falcons, but I like Turner, so kudos.

- Drew Brees, are you kidding me? 26 of 34 for 358 yards and SIX (SIX? SIX?) touchdowns??? I've come around on Philip Rivers, yes, but Brees is still the better quarterback. Six touchdown passes in one game???

- Ben Leber, currently a linebacker for the Minnesota Vikings, was second on his team with 5 tackles and 1 assist. I'm still trying to figure out why the Chargers let him go following the 2005 season, but I can't really complain about the linebackers San Diego has now, so... whatever.

- For the first time in a very long time, neither Rodney Harrison nor Junior Seau suited up for a football game this weekend. Both are retired, and both belong in the Hall of Fame (wearing Chargers jerseys, I hope, but I've a feeling Harrison will opt for a Patriots jersey).

Oft-Delayed Random Musings

Okay, so I've not mused randomly lately, but I saw some things in the news recently and have the urge.

Oh, I'm also imbibing in Merlot. Big surprise, right?

Anyhoo...

- Disney is acquiring Marvel Comics. This just seems... profound to me. Like, too good to be true, or too dangerous to be true. I can't decide which. I think I'd have liked it better had Paramount, Universal, or some other studio purchased Marvel. No clue why I feel that, but I do. Bite me.

- Yeah, I've not blogged about the San Diego Padres this season, because, well, it's just too sad.

- So Brett Favre finally did it and signed with the Vikings. Whoopedy-doo... wait until next year when he signs with the Lions. Now THAT will be newsworthy.

- While we're on the NFL: an 18-game season is a BAD idea. Pre-set scaled contracts for draft picks is a GOOD idea.

- Obama just recommended that people should get a shot for the swine flu. Fuck that. Is anybody else wondering why all these "super-flu" strains started cropping up AFTER flu shots became en vogue? I'm all for modern medicine, but damn... let the immune system do its job, no?

- Avid bloggers should check out The Tenth Daughter of Memory in case they're bored.

- I've probably mentioned this before, but Bob Schneider's "King of the World" is one of the best songs ever written.

- Books I've read (or re-read) recently: Arthur C. Clarke's 2001: A Space Odyssey, Larry McMurtry's The Last Picture Show, Dan Simmons' The Terror, Neil Gaiman's Stardust. All are heavily recommended. I'm currently reading Neil Gaiman's Neverwhere, and I've been assigned to read Charles Frazier's Cold Mountain. Anybody have any recommendations for what to read after those are done?

- People confuse me. Particularly women. Then again, I suppose that's what we get for Eve pulling the apple off the tree. And stealing a rib. Actually, archaeologists are saying that the apple was really a fig. Which makes sense, given that Adam and Eve wore fig leaves. Yeah? And who still believes that women have more ribs than men? Ugh.

-  Oh, damn! I just read that red wine helps alleviate some of the harmful effects of radiation therapies. I'm all set!

- Er... never mind... it's only for people drinking ONE glass of wine a day.

Enough for now, I suppose.

Fair-Weather NFL Fan, I Am

No. You've got the wrong idea. I am always, 100% of the time, a San Diego Chargers fan. As long as they're on the air wherever I'm at, or if I'm in San Diego, I will watch the San Diego Chargers play... and I will root like a madman with rabies for them.

Since I started paying close attention to the Chargers around 1986 or 1987, I've endured an 8-1 season turning into an 8-7 season (1987), four straight losing seasons from 1988 to 1991, eight straight .500 or worse seasons from 1996 to 2003 (only two of which were 8-8 finishes), and the inability to win a first playoff game in 2004 and 2006.

But I've always remained a fan.

As far as the rest of the NFL, however, I've recently noticed something: if the Chargers are doing poorly, I don't give a small shit about the rest of the league. If the Chargers are doing well (or, as now, are fighting for a playoff spot), I'll watch damn near every NFL game I have access to.

So, yes, I admit it: I'm a fair-weather NFL fan... but an all-weather Chargers fan.

NFL Musings

I just watched Drew Brees tie Rich Gannon's NFL record for the most 300-yard passing games in a season (10), become only the second quarterback in NFL history to pass for 5000 yards, and fall 16 or 17 yards short of breaking Dan Marino's NFL record of the most passing yards in a single season.

While I can dig Philip Rivers, I really wish Drew Brees was still a Charger.

Tonight the Chargers (7-8) play the Denver Broncos (8-7). If the Chargers win, they'll win the AFC West and are in the playoffs. If they lose, well, it'll be another disappointing season... and Norv Turner will have to go.

Here's hoping for the best.

Irreverent Musings

Syllogism for the day: People suck. You are people. Therefore, you suck.

Instead of cutting its losses, NBC is going to "reboot" the "reimagined" Knight Rider. The cast is too big, they says. The plots are too big, they says. I says they should've used a fucking Firebird.

Monday night's episode of Heroes completely destroyed the show. As in: made every episode that came before it utterly pointless. So, Noah Bennet knew Syler's identity the entire time, eh? So, Claire's real mother was almost an agent and was present at the train wreck, eh? So, Nathan's powers emerged before the eclipse, eh? So, Syler and Elle were an "item," eh? So... ah, fuck it.

The World Series suffered its lowest television ratings ever... by more than 1.5 points. Quick solution: shorten the season and expand the fucking playoffs.

The NFL is considering an 18-game season. Bad idea. The relatively short season is why people enjoy it so much... it gives them something to wait for during the off-season. Take notes, MLB and NHL.

Advice for comic book publishers: origin stories for established mysterious characters are bad ideas. Yes, this is also advice for the writers of Heroes.

Latest crappy movie I tried to watch, but was unable to finish: Shoot 'Em Up. Surprising, too, since it starred Monica Bellucci, and until I tried to watch that piece of shit movie, I could've sworn I'd watch paint dry while strangers walked by and pissed on me, just so I could look at Monica Bellucci. I don't know if I should be relieved or distressed to know that this is not the case.

Joss Whedon is an overrated hack. Bite me. No pun intended.

Battlestar Galactica has devolved into self-congratulatory garbage. Just some words for the writers: you're not that good; your show isn't that good. If all the hype were true, you'd be on a real channel, and not one known for keeping the Stargate television franchise around, oh, 11-years too long. Funny... BSG isn't even going to make it to a fifth season. Yeah, you guys fucking rock, all right.

Fox, do us all a favor and just import the original Ramsay's Kitchen Nightmares. Your version is utter trash, and has absolutely nothing to do with the restaurant industry, save for the fact that it's shot in restaurants. If I wanted to see garbage shot in a restaurant, I'll watch Michael shoot Sollozzo and McCluskey.

Please, Warner Brothers, cancel the Justice League movie and never speak a word about it again.

I will never watch NatGeo as long as it's called NatGeo. Nor will I drink SunnyD as long as it's called SunnyD. Fire those marketers... seriously.

It's time for bed.

1140-Yard Benchmark

Let's face it, the 1000-yard benchmark signifying a wide receiver or running back's quality is lame. Oh, sure, way back when the football season was only 14 games, it meant something. It meant even more when the season was only 12 games (before 1961). But today, the benchmark is run-of-the-mill, and you'd be hard-pressed to find a team without someone who reached 1000 yards.

Look at it mathematically: for a player to hit 1000 yards, he has to gain 62.5 yards per game in a 16-game season. Every fan with any working knowledge of American football knows that 62.5 is a pedestrian amount, at best. In a 14-game season, a player would have to gain just over 71.4 yards each game, nearly a 10-yard higher per-game average than is necessary in the contemporary game. Every football player knows 10-yards per game is a nice chunk of change.

To put it in perspective, that just-over-71.4 yards per game would translate into almost 1143 yards per season. Which is why I'm proposing everyone, bloggers and press alike, adopt the "1140-Standard" of judging the NFL's so-called premiere players.

Because 1000 yards today is just too normal.

And, yes, the 3000-yard benchmark for quarterbacks has to go, too.

Chargers Season Opener: Damn Those Panthers

Well, the 2008 NFL Season is officially underway. And the Chargers are 0-1. Go figure, right?

Not that I'm too disappointed, mind you. Unlike last year's season opener (a game the Chargers won), the Chargers actually played very well against the Carolina Panthers. In fact, they played well enough. It just so happens that the Panthers played just a tiny bit better.

Still, I'm not as worried as I was last year.

Case in point: Philip Rivers was 17 of 27 for 217 yards and three touchdowns. Not overly fantastic, but definitely competent. And it doesn't hurt that one touchdown each went to each of his primary receivers: Chris Chambers, Antonio Gates, and Vincent Jackson. While not Air Coryell, it's certainly evidence that San Diego's vertical game is as good as its been in a long, long time.

LaDainian Tomlinson rushed for 97 yards on 21 carries, which was good enough for a 4.6-yard average. Again, not overly fantastic, but still quite good.

In addition to his TD pass, Gates caught three other passes for an overall total of 61 yards, and four other Chargers (Tomlinson, Jackson, Brandon Manumaleuna, and rookie fullback Mike Tolbert) caught three passes each.

So, I guess it's safe to say the offense is running on schedule. Yes, it sucks that they lost, but at least our injury worries are gone with the wind.

But, in a rare case, the Chargers defense let us down. Only one sack. No interceptions. The only real highlight was rookie Antoine Cason's forced fumble. Oh, and Quentin Jammer's outstanding sustained play.

It was a good game; truly exciting. And it's hard to not smile a little for Jake Delhomme, who didn't know how he would play after getting jacked up last season.

Can't wait for next week. And it better put the Chargers in the win column.

Oh, and just as last year, anything short of 12-4 will be a failure in my eyes. Not that anyone cares.

Random Charger Musings

I still think Norv Turner is an overrated coach. In fact, he's going to have to have another two winning seasons before I even consider him otherwise.

Philip Rivers is getting better, but I'd still take Drew Brees any day of the week. Brees is better at reading, better at staying calm, and better at leading. I could be wrong, but time will tell.

I love Shawne Merriman (what San Diego fan doesn't?), but he's a fool not to take care of his knee.

Here's hoping the Chargers work out a stadium deal before this year is out. I'd really have a problem rooting for a Los Angeles Chargers. I'd rather root for a San Antonio Chargers, but I won't even do that.

Antoine Cason looks like this year's Antonio Cromartie. I guess this means the Chargers are loaded at cornerback.

Michael Turner, you are already missed. Nice game for the Falcons, by the way.

The Los Angeles Jets of the NFL

Seattle beat Washington and Jacksonville beat Pittsburgh today (or yesterday, depending on your time zone). Although I occasionally pull for the Seahawks (due to their AFC West connection) and Jacksonville (due to a personal connection), I don't really give a shit. The only thing I want to happen is for San Diego to smoke Tennessee Sunday evening.

Anyway, as yet another NFL season without a team in Los Angeles comes to a close, I find myself pondering the easiest way to get a team to America's second-largest city.

Expansion, of course, is the obvious answer, but since the NFL is almost perfectly balanced and scheduled with a 32-team league, this doesn't seem likely. No, I don't think that adding a team or two (or four) would hurt the NFL by depleting the talent pool like so many people claim, I just think that it would ruin the system in place... again, it's almost perfect.

Moving a less-than-popular team from its current city is also a common answer, but I'm against this, as every city should have its representation in the premiere sports league in the country.

Which brings me to the New York Jets. There are two teams in New York: the NFC's Giants and the AFC's Jets. The Giants have been around since 1925, are uber-popular, have two Super Bowl titles, and shouldn't be touched. The Jets began life as the New York Titans in 1960, are also very popular, and have a single Super Bowl title. Now, I don't really think they should be touched, either, but the proposition is a simple one.

Move the Jets to Los Angeles.

Yes, most of you are screaming at my blatant ignorance of tradition and my seeming inane stupidity, but why not?

Move the Jets to Los Angeles, realign them in the AFC West. Realign the Kansas City Chiefs into the AFC South (much as I hate to break up my beloved division). Realign the Indianapolis Colts into the AFC North (what are they doing in the AFC South, anyway?). And realign the Baltimore Ravens into the AFC East. Problem solved.

Of course, even I hate this idea myself, but the only other method I can think of to maintain balance and put a team in Los Angeles without hurting another city is to go back to the six-division format and add four expansion teams.

Ah, well... it'll never happen, so why worry?

Go Chargers!

Ugliness in Charger-ville

Somehow they did it. Somehow the Chargers held on after watching a 23-0 lead dwindle to a 23-21 lead. A 23-21 lead that saw the Colts with the ball on the Chargers 11 getting ready to kick the game-winning field goal. Somehow... oh, wait, no... they won because Adam Vinatieri missed two field goals. An act even LaDainian Tomlinson admitted he didn't expect would ever happen.

Darren Sproles and Antonio Cromartie, by themselves, saved the Chargers season. For now, at least. Sproles returned the opening kickoff for a touchdown and later added a punt return for a touchdown. Cromartie intercepted Peyton Manning three times (Manning threw another three during the game and still somehow managed to lead his team within two points of the Chargers).

Sure, LT added a rushing touchdown, but Philip Rivers returned to his "what the fuck is going on and where am I" ways and did just about nothing to help the Chargers, even losing a fumble in the endzone and knocking it into the hands of an opponent, which resulted in a Colts touchdown instead of a Colts safety. Oh, wait, no... he also threw two interceptions.

So, Darren Sproles and Antonio Cromartie saved the Chargers season. Despite everything Norv Turner and Philip Rivers could do to lose the game (Turner even threw two absolutely worthless challenge flags), Sproles and Cromartie saved the season... this week, at least.

As you can probably infer, I'm not celebrating the Chargers victory. I'm actually loathing it. Sure, a win is a win, but I've never missed Drew and Marty so much.

Ugh.

Fun fact: the Chargers are 3-1 versus the Manning brothers since Eli spurned San Diego in the 2004 draft, with only Peyton pulling off a single victory.

The San Diego Chargers: Warning Signs

I'm writing this during the fourth quarter of a proper ass-kicking by the New England Patriots. Seriously, there is no question who the better team is. All complaints from last year's divisional playoff game must cease (and stay ceased unless somehow the Patriots and the Chargers meet in the playoffs this year).

I was worried this offseason that the Chargers had shot themselves in the foot with the whole coach-GM debacle. I remained worried about it during the game with the Bears, which, despite being a win, was as sloppy as a win could be. And now... I'm absolutely terrified.

Watching tonight's game it's crystal clear now that the Chargers are not the disciplined team they were last year, or any year under their previous head coach, the oft-maligned Marty Schottenheimer. Say what you will, the man was a disciplinarian, and A.J. Smith, the Chargers' general manager, never gave the man the credit he deserved.

Well, here it is (and no, my tune's not changing... just read my Chargers blog from last year):

The Chargers owe their resurgence as an elite team to four people. Two of them are players, one is a coach, and, yes, the other is A.J. Smith.

The coach, in case you're wondering, is obviously not Norv Turner (who has historically stunk as a head coach), but Marty Schottenheimer himself. The players are LaDainian Tomlinson (naturally) and Drew Brees. Notice something? Yes, that's right, two of these people are no longer with the Chargers... they were forced out by A.J. Smith.

Smith is, to give proper due, a player-personnel genius. You can't argue with his draft picks. You just can't. Even Philip Rivers, who this year seems lost in the NFL so far. But, the man is a dictator, and it's his way or the highway. If you don't do things his way, you're gone. The problem here is that Mr. Smith is not a coach. Marty Schottenheimer was a coach.

I've never been a huge Schottenheimer fan. I'm on the "he's too conservative" bandwagon, and despite the leaps and bounds he made last year to shed that perception, he's still too conservative. That being stated, I've never been a Norv Turner-as-head coach fan at all. Great offensive coordinator? Yes. Good head coach? Hardly. He's been handed the keys to what is probably the most talented team in football, and he couldn't even make the Patriots break a sweat.

Schottenheimer, and let me make this perfectly transparent, SHOULD HAVE BEEN ALLOWED TO COACH ONE MORE SEASON. With one season of "Marty-ball is dead" under his belt, who knows what he would have done with the team this year? Not only that, with both Cam Cameron and Wade Phillips gone to their own head coaching gigs, Marty could have proven to A.J. that he is, after all, a great coach (perhaps that's one reason A.J. didn't let him stay... A.J. didn't want to afford someone he can't stand the chance to prove himself).

Smith, to this point, has been hailed as a genius. This year, however, I think he's about to be brought back down to just being hailed as a good general manager.

Brees is gone, replaced by Rivers. Brees managed to excel with a new team and a new system last year. Rivers managed to excel with a team built around its running back. Both QBs are struggling so far, but Brees is the one who has already shown that he can overcome adversity. Rivers has done no such thing.

Schottenheimer is gone, replaced by Rivers. Marty managed to turn around a crap team and turn it into an elite one. Not only that, he's done it before. Turner has run every team he's ever had into the ground.

Is Smith the problem? Probably, but even I have to admit that I'd hate to see him go. What Smith needs to do is find a head coach that inspires players to work hard and not make mistakes. Norv Turner is not that man.

If the Chargers aren't 6-2 by the midpoint of the season, I'm going to start crying every Sunday, because that would be enough evidence that the Chargers, who were thought to be in their Super Bowl window, are now simply, in fact, rebuilding once again.

Vote for Clint Eastwood. Even though he directed that Boston-based movie, Mystic River, I'm sure he wants a California team to take the Lombardi trophy this year.

Writer's Mood Block

Writer's block doesn't exist. I've said this before; I'm saying it again. I might just be saying it again in order to convince myself of that, but I'm saying it again regardless. Writer's block doesn't exist.

Basically, if your hands haven't been cut off, or your voice box and/or tongue ripped out, you can write. It might not be good, but it's writing nonetheless. Which is why writer's block doesn't exist.

What does exist, however, is writer's mood. A writer has to be in the mood to write. Sure, he or she can type random dreck, hoping for the infinite monkey syndrome to get lucky and produce the next great American novel, but for the most part, a writer wants to know where he or she is going with whatever it is he or she is writing.

Side note: Why isn't "they" an acceptable substitution for "he or she?" I think it's completely ridiculous that grammarians don't recognize the utility of having such an option. And I really, really hate that "s/he" crap those liberal writers tend to use. Fucking Hell. If you're still reading this, I'm just going to use "he" to represent "he or she" from here on out, so don't be offended if I leave your gender out of a sentence.

Anyway, where was I? Oh, yeah... writer's mood. So here I am, getting ready to rewrite a script that has been languishing for about 20 months. The new outline is ready, the characters have been improved and streamlined, the plot is more linear and less predictable, and I'm sitting in front of computer ready to rock and roll. Only I don't feel like writing anything.

It's not that I can't write anything, or that I don't know what I'm going to write, because I do. The new version of the story is in my head. It's there. The modified characterizations are there. So is the dialogue. I just have to kick-start my lazy ass and put it on paper, so to speak. But I don't want to. Why? Fuck, I don't know, but I know I'm not in a writer's mood.

You name it, and I'm letting myself be distracted by it.

I'm following the NFL draft preparations, wondering what San Diego Chargers GM A.J. Smith is going to do. Is he going to trade Michael Turner to move up? Or is he going to pull another rabbit out of another hat? I'm keeping an eye on the fledgling baseball season, happy that the Padres are off to a decent start, but upset that they're not dominating. Jake Peavy and Chris Young be damned, sign me a fucking slugger.

I'm watching more television now than I have at any point in the previous six years. On my schedules are House, Lost, 24, Prison Break, Battlestar Galactica, Bullrun, Planet Earth, Heroes, and The Black Donnellys. House because its namesake is the best character on television. Lost because it's the best mystery on television. 24 because it's the best action. Prison Break because it's the best plot. Battlestar Galactica, best science fiction. Bullrun, I worked on it. Planet Earth, I'm a nature freak and it's just a limited series. Heroes, I'm a comic book freak, even though I think the show is overrated. The Black Donnellys, the best show on television, and it's cancelled.

I'm reading books. Lots of books. Screenwriting books (Linda Seger rocks). Filmmaking books. Military books. Art books (got a Gil Elvgren coffee table book that kicks ass). Fiction. Non-fiction. Comic books. You name it.

Oh, and "her." Yeah, I had "her" under wraps for a while, but now I'm definitely letting her distract me again. Willfully, blissfully, and (unfortunately) futilely. What can I say? Despite my best intentions and judgment, I can't help but let her do it for me. Argh.

The point. You probably want the point. THIS IS THE POINT. I'm doing everything BUT writing my damned script. And why? Because right now, I don't really fucking want to.

That's a horrible attitude for an aspiring writer, I know, but I can't fucking help it. I don't have writer's block (it doesn't exist anyway), but I'm just not in the writer's mood. It's like when your girlfriend is lying in the nude next to you, but claims she has a headache. She can, but won't. Well, that's where I'm at: I can, but won't.

Anybody have any suggestions?