remember when the conversation
turned from orange to violet
an end to ends, all over again
until then
dream that it all happened before
spinning around an axis
spinning around a star
what's spoken was spoken
who's listening is what's different
thinking, therefore being
the mind's eye
the mind's sky's precipitation
an instant within an instant
is when everything changes
it's a new day, today
... feels like the rest of yesterday
9 comments:
I liked the first 2 lines. The rest? Not so much.
"it's a new day, today
... feels like the rest of yesterday".
There is a certain lyricism about it - it feels as though it should be set to music.
Nice... I like your poetry. I like the flow, and the imagery it brings up.
Nice.
I like the imagery as well. "Turned from orange to violet" "Who's listening is what's different" and "it's a new day, today feels like the rest of yesterday" are my favorite.
oh wow...those last two lines carry quite the bite...nicely done jeff...
no caps...nice.
orange and violet...such different emotions.
"who's listening is what's different"....
"an instant within an instant"....
kisses Jeff on the forehead...can I call you a poet???
"an end to ends, all over again"
how sad.
nicely done.
Jeff
this one is good, nice flow, lyrical sounding, not overdone with its cleverness, and easy play with the words, you could have gone overboard with the colors, and word descriptive it went from one mood and flowed nicely into another by a gentle dance with words, emotions, and color and lyrical sounds.
See you are a sensitive poet Jeff.
Joanny
Um,I'm with Bitsy.
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