Wednesday, October 27, 2010

In My Humble Opinion...

I'm not in any sort of bad mood, I promise. In fact, I just feel like being a bit irreverent... towards blogging. This is one part procrastination (as of this writing, anyway... hopefully by the time anyone reads this, the contract will be fulfilled), one part an extension of Irrelevant Etiquette, one part "I just feel like it," and one part (sadly) "I have nothing else to do."

Well, if you've noticed the obvious contradiction above, I do have something else to do... I just don't feel like doing it. I feel like doing this, instead, but I've stated that already.

So, here we go... the illustriously irreverent "Things That Irritate Me On Blogs!"

1. Automatic music players. Seriously... this is a big one. In fact, there are a couple of blogs I'd visit more often if I knew I didn't have to scramble to shut the music off. I'm typically already listening to music when I'm gallivanting around the Internet and, trust me, our tastes in music probably don't go together well. That's not to state that I don't like your taste in music... that's just stating your song playing at the same time as my song probably sounds like two cats trying to stick genitals in the wrong parts of their bodies.

2. Black backgrounds with white fonts. Since most of the Internet is the opposite, my eyes and brain go all wobbly for a few moments when I come to blogs with this color scheme. They've even been known to give me a headache from time to time. This isn't as bad as the music thing, but it does force me to close my eyes before I click on their links... eyes needing prep time to adjust 'n all.

3. Word captchas combined with comment approvals. Really? Why? Let's not forget that Blogger, at least, has implemented a pretty good spam filter recently. Not sure about your blog(s), but mine haven't had an "Asian spammer" problem in a while. I get why some people have comment approval turned on (particularly the more controversial bloggers), but both? Is that really necessary? Let me answer that for you: No.

4. Recipes combined with photographs. Okay, not really... they just have a knack for making me hungry. Even when I've already eaten. And they remind me that my diet is crap and that I should eat better. I already have a nagging mother, thank you (two if you count a certain Aussie friend of mine).

*To be honest, I'm tempted to try a lot of these recipes, so ignore that one.

5. Blog-rolls that are ridiculously long. Actually, I don't really care about this... I'm just here to tell you that most people (if not everyone) will NOT be sifting through those things. And, go ahead and admit it: you don't either.

6. Comment approvals. I've changed my mind. I don't like comment approvals at all (hiding votes on competition sites excluded, of course... suck it!). It reminds me of censorship. I hate censorship. So go [CENSORED] yourselves.

7. Hidden email addresses. C'mon! You're posting publicly, why can't we contact you? I hate getting comments and finding out that I can't respond directly because it's a "noreply@blogger" address. We're blogging! We're supposed to be communitizing (new word... deal with it).

8. And this brings me to responses to other comments in comment sections. Yeah, it's not a big deal on smaller blogs... but, really? You want us to sift through THAT just to see how you responded to us? Here's an idea... email us back via our unblocked email address that is nice enough to show up in your comment notification.

9. People whining about me because they take me far too seriously. Which, any regular reader here will tell you, is not advised.

Kiss my ass and have a nice day.

14 comments:

Brian Miller said...

some people take you seriously? smiles.

Brian Miller said...

i hear you and agree...really teh recipes should be banned at least for a bit until i can lose some weight...i tend to sit at the dinner table repeating the words 'more and longer' and my wife thinks it has to do with meals....

Marcheline said...

The sheer number of news stories in which people have extended their online fantasies into the real world, to the detriment of all involved, makes me supportive of those who do not wish to be contacted at their personal email addresses. That's what blogs are for - putting a safety buffer between one's real home and one's online correspondence. I think it's a wise choice.

Whispering She-Oak said...

"more and longer"

All wives know what than means ...

Baino said...

Monday I'm one of your besties and by Wednesday I'm a nag - RUDE! Oh that's right, this is IRREx so I'll just ignore it.

Agree with email linking, I haven't much time and prefer to respond individually to commenters so if someone leaves a comment and there's a link, I'm happy to get back to them. Otherwise, sorry. No reciprocation on the blog. If you value your privacy, just set up an email for blog responses. It's easy.

Just wait till that fine firm ass gets over here, kiss it indeed. I'll show you kiss my ass!

Harnett-Hargrove said...

Yer funny when yer POed. -J

Kate Hanley said...

I mostly agree. Actually, I want to respond via e mail but everytime I click on an e mail (a contact me or whatever), my microsoft outlook wants to load but I have g mail. Any ideas on how to fix it?

Wings said...

1. Hate them, too. I always look for the button to shut them off.

2. Used to be one of them. Changed it up, as I was getting headaches on my own site.

3. Not sure what I have going on comment-wise, now, but I agree.

4. I try some, but most I save and then never make. Procrastinating!

5. I usually don't, no. Something to think about, that's for sure.

6. I have them set for only after a week or so, since that is when I usually get the spam.

7. Agreed, I hate looking for a way to contact someone and then having to do it publicly via just a comment on a post.

8. Yeah, I do this too. But if the comment is important enough, I email it, as well. So nyah.

9. Well, hey, people believe all sorts of things they shouldn't, why should this be any different?

the half-life of linoleum said...

10) what about postings that are entirely in binary code?

11) what about photographs that look like one you took when you were seven and dropped the camera by accident?

12) what about blog postings where the ranter numbers the rants?

14) what about postings where the ranter numbers the rants and leaves out number thirteen because it's, what, unlucky?

15) what about comments where every sentence starts with what about?

16) but seriously - the blog roll thing - it can be really long and the latest postings float to the surface as what happens when the nuclear submarine explodes. I'd be happy to be in your blog roll even if it were infinity long. . .

PattiKen said...

I love these rants.

1. Don't "hate" them, per se, but mostly I'd rather not. I do shut them off. The one exception is the occasional post made better with the music clip included to optionally play. You did one of those yourself.

2. Yup. Though I don't mind the white on black as much as any color too close in shade to the background, thus not having enough contrast. Add a small font to that, and it becomes too much work for me to read. (I would point out, however, that your "wobbly" mental condition, not to mention the headache, might sometimes have had another source...)

3. I was going to justify this by saying that I know some people do it so they can respond to each comment individually. But since you hold no truck with reply comments on the blog in the first place, shrug... As for the captchas, I don't particularly like having the additional step, but I do understand them. I still see the occasional comment from "Anonymous" on other people's blogs (the ones with Captcha turned off?) selling Viagra, etc. Besides, sometimes I get a tickle from a Captcha that is totally appropriate to the post.

4. shrug...

5. shrug... I will amend this one to include one thing I do find aggravating, though: so much stuff (links, ads, followers, etc. -- all with colorful graphics -- in the sidebars) resulting in the blog scrolling in slow, jerky jumps like an old Packard with a fouled fuel line. (ahem)

6. See #3.

7 & 8. I tend to answer most comments. Just seems polite. But I do prefer an e-mail response if available.

9. Yep, folks, this is true. Not a good idea. It's a direct route down the wrong garden path.

Tom said...

sorry about the black background...but the black and white doodles really stand out well in that format...anyway, i'll probably change it around at some point anyway--i'd hate to be part of the reason behind your headaches.
i might have to put up Lou Reed's Machine Music as a background noise to my blog--man that would really give you a migraine, dude!

G-Dawg said...

YOU have a "humble" opinion? Hm. :)

Bitsy said...

G-Dawg is a genius.

That's an awful lot of complaining about comments from someone who professes to want comments. Why do you feel the need to reply to comments? You suck up the positive ones and disregard 99% of the negative ones anyway. :)

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