Super Bowl XLII: Whom to Root For?

Well, my Chargers lost in the early game last Sunday. It sucks, but they put up a good game, and Mr. Cool (Tom Brady) was clearly upset at how much the Chargers defense was fucking with him. But, the Chargers still lost, so my attention had to shift to the Green Bay Packers, my new favorite for the Super Bowl.

Only... the Packers lost, too.

So here I am, wondering which team to root for in the upcoming Super Bowl. I don't have any special dislike for the Patriots, I just really don't want to see them go 19-0 on the season. But I really don't want to see Eli Manning win a Super Bowl. Ever.

For the record, the only teams I truly dislike are the Oakland Raiders, and the San Francisco 49ers. I used to hate the Dallas Cowboys, but as a fan of Wade Phillips and an admirer of Bill Parcells, my hatred for them has waned as of late. I don't even dislike the New York Giants, I just really, really hate Eli Manning.

So, who do I root for? Only the Giants stand in the way of the Patriots' perfect season. Which means Eli Manning stands in the Patriots' way. That sucks. Maybe I'll get lucky and the Patriots defense will end Eli's career à la Joe Theismann; then I'll feel content with rooting for the Giants.

Then again, I'm an AFC/AFL fan, and I would rather see the AFC win the Super Bowl every year. Ugh... Not to mention that I would love to see Junior Seau and Rodney Harrison finally receive those Super Bowl Rings that they've long deserved. Double ugh...

Ah, fuck it. Go Patriots.

The Chargers’ Coaching Circus

For those of you who feel that coaching has little to do with a game, you need only look one place to find out that you're wrong: the San Diego Chargers.

The Chargers coaches are sub-standard, it's affecting the players, and the only man to blame is the San Diego General Manager, A.J. Smith.

See, under the Chargers' previous head coach, Marty Schottenheimer, the team went from the basement of the NFL to the attic. His disciplinarian style and ability to lead turned that team around, and he was summarily rewarded by being fired... and all because A.J. Smith didn't like him, and never did.

But when Marty was there, he had a decent offensive coordinator in Cam Cameron, an excellent defensive coordinator in Wade Phillips, and a suprisingly outstanding set of coaches.

Exit Cam to Miami, exit Wade to Dallas, and exit Marty to wherever the Hell he is. In Mythology, those three-headed animals can be a pain to deal with as long as one head remains, but San Diego lost all three in one off-season.

A.J., rife with the self-belief that he's a genius, brings in Norv Turner (whom Cam Cameron stole his offensive system from), a man who has never been an effective head coach, but has always been an excellent offensive coordinator.

This, however, created more problems than it solved.

First, the man hired as the new offensive coordinator by Marty, Clarence Shelmon (former running backs coach for the Chargers), effectively "lost" his new job, as Norv calls all offensive plays himself. This ain't going to make Clarence happy, and it removes him from a coaching position that he excelled at. Let's not forget that the new running backs coach is far less notable. Any wonder why the Chargers running game is way below their standard this year?

Second, Norv is not the motivator Marty was. Norv, like Philip Rivers, appears to give up from time to time. Marty fought tooth and nail to make a point, even if his team was down by 30 points.

See, when Marty and Cam ran the offense, Cam would generally call the plays, but if Marty had a problem with it, the play-calling would shift. Similarly, if Marty wanted something, Cam would adjust his plays to make Marty happy. Two heads, as they say, are better than one. With Norv, he answers to no one, and what he says is it... even when what he says is so obviously stupid.

For proof of this, simply look at Turner's career. As an offensive coordinator, he turned a struggling 49ers offense into a pleasant suprise the last couple of years. Now that he has left San Francisco to be the head coach in San Diego, both teams are suffering. The 49ers offense once again sucks, and the entire Chargers team once again sucks. Coincidence? I doubt it.

How does this explain the defensive problems San Diego has? Well, look at it this way... if you're a defensive player and you're always stuck on the field, and you have little faith that your offense is going to score even if you stand your ground, how long can you go before you quit giving a shit?

Norv Turner has to go, and he has to go before Philip Rivers truly does become a lost cause. Otherwise, the Spanos family better find some way to get Drew Brees back.

And Marty, too.

Oh, Those Stupid Chargers

Flabbergasted. That's what I am. Flabbergasted. The San Diego Chargers, in all of their historical wisdom, have fired Marty Schottenheimer, the most successful Chargers coach since Bobby Ross. And why, you might ask? Well, the man who led the team to 12-4, 9-9-7, and 14-2 records the last three years simply could not win a playoff game.

That's the official line, of course. The reality is that the General Manager, A.J. Smith, did not like Marty. Remember my Drew Brees blog before the season started? The one where I mentioned that, since A.J. didn't draft Drew, A.J. didn't want Drew? Yeah, well, A.J. didn't hire Marty, either... keep that in mind as I continue my rant.

Anyway, the Chargers stupid decision of 2007 was to fire Marty AFTER deciding to keep him on, which oh-by-the-way, is also AFTER San Diego's two guru coordinators, Cam Cameron and Wade Phillips, left to go coach other teams (Miami and Dallas, respectively). So who's left? NO-FUCKING-BODY! Good job, Spanos family. You just fucked up the Chargers' coaching situation like you fucked up the Chargers' stadium situation.

While we're on the subject, let's go over a few of the other stupid Chargers moves in history.

First, and here's the obvious (this even predates the Spanos family)... remember those San Francisco 49er Super Bowls of the 80s? How many of those guys were former Chargers? Sent to the 49ers in what were essentially STUPID trades? I don't even want to count how many, because I'll start crying.

Let's jump to the 90s, shall we?

Bobby Ross? Only Chargers coach to NEVER post a losing record. Sure, he had a couple of 8-8 seasons, but the point remains. Let's not forget that he's the only coach to take the 'Bolts to the Super Bowl. So... what happened? What do you think? The Chargers fired him.

Drafting Ryan Leaf? You know, the consensus "biggest draft bust in history?" Awesome work, guys.

Letting Drew Brees go? Sure, this one may wind up working out, should Philip Rivers maintain his quality of play... but, I'm still biting my fingernails over this.

Junior Seau? JUNIOR SEAU? MR. CHARGER (no offense to Dan Fouts)? They LET HIM GO? Of course they did, they're the Chargers.

Then there was Leslie O'Neal, John Carney, Rodney Harrison, Donnie Edwards, etc.

Oh, and NOT signing John Lynch, who WANTED to come to San Diego, because he was "too old." Well, he's in Denver, your division rival, and he's still kicking ass.

I'm rambling.

To my Chargers: I love you, but DAMN, you can be stupid.

Flabbergasted.