Questions I've Been Asked

I'm bored and can't sleep, so I've decided to write about several questions that have been asked of me lately. Why? Well, I figure if I write the answers down, nobody will ask me those questions again. Hey, I hate repeating myself. I mean, I really hate repeating myself. I just really, really don't like repeating myself.

Q1. Why aren't you writing about the Presidential candidates?
A1. Because I don't really care at this point in time. Ron Paul and Mike Gravel are ultra-wingers who, while they belong in national politics and are needed, don't need to be in the White House. Romney appears to be a fraud, and is hiding something, as is Obama. Speaking of, Obama and Clinton are merely riding their "making history" trains, to the point of being irritating. Huckabee is, well, Huckabee. McCain is playing both sides of the train tracks. And Edwards and Giulani are now officially out (thank the maker). And that's how I feel about that.

Q2. Why aren't you in Los Angeles?
A2. Several reasons: 1) financial trouble stemming from a few years back finally caught up to me, 2) legal trouble stemming from a couple of years back made staying on the West Coast a precipitous proposition, 3) military trouble from a few years back is haunting me. That's it in a nutshell.

Q3. Why aren't you actively pursuing your writing career?
A3. My computer sucks... seriously... to the point of really pissing me off, causing me to purposefully limit my computer time (and, hence, my writing time). And outside stressors, while nowhere near debilitating, keep my mind on those stressors.

Q4. Why don't you like Philip Rivers?
A4. I don't dislike him, I'm just not entirely convinced yet. He's no Drew Brees, and he let Eli Manning beat him to a Super Bowl.

Q5. Why don't you take one of those government jobs you qualify for?
A5. HAHAHAHAHAHA. Been there, done that, won't do it again until I have more influence.

Q6. Why aren't you finishing up grad school?
A6. Because I'm picky (sorry, ECU), my computer sucks, and I have other things on my mind.

Q7. What do you think of the title of the new James Bond movie?
A7. I like it, if only because it's an Ian Fleming title. Although I can see how aesthetically "non-movie-Bond" it is. At least it's not something really stupid like Attack of the Clones.

Q8. Why don't you like the newer Star Wars movies?
A8. Bad acting, bad directing, bad story, over-the-top effects, and a general disregard for established story continuity a bad movie does make.

Q9. Why are you so hard on Battlestar Galactica?
A9. Because it started out so great, then turned to shit. I usually don't make across-the-board statements, but anyone who actually liked Season 3 is an idiot.

Q10. Why do you think we should restructure the military?
A10. Because we're wasting money. Money that could be used in making our military bigger.

Q11. Since you want to join the WGA, why aren't you supporting them in the current strike?
A11. I am now, at least more than I was. But prior to their dropping of some of their demands, they were being a bunch of whiny morons.

Q12. Why aren't you more specific in some of your writings?
A12. Because I'm lazy, and specificity by nature requires a lot of repetition... and I hate repeating myself. Repeating myself pisses me off, and only makes me hate repeating myself even more.