The Following People Can Kiss My Ass:

People who feel their phone conversation is more important than the traffic they're in.

Minorities who throw "exclusive" parties, proms, etc., but cry "racist" every time whites do the same.

Raiders fans.

Rich and famous people who feel their fame and fortune is deserved, and not earned. Yes, this is a not-so-subtle jab at certain actors and athletes.

Actors in general.

Dodgers fans.

People who don't like dogs.

Late teenagers in college debating politics like they know something about it.

Members of al-Qaida (al Qai'da; al-Qaeda; al-Queera; al-a-I'm-a-moron).

The writers of Battlestar Galactica, who took a great premise and a great show, and turned it into a inconsistent soap opera not even worth of being called a soap opera.

Religions fundamentalists (any religion).

Extreme leftists.

Extreme rightists.

Al Sharpton, Don Imus, Jesse Jackson, Rush Limbaugh. Bet you never thought you'd see those four in the same sentence in your lifetime...

Bad drivers with those "what would Jesus do?" fish on their cars. Not sure, but I'm guessing he wouldn't be breaking any traffic laws.

Homosexuals who think that everyone who doesn't like gays is a homophobe.

People who don't like gays, including homophobes.

Natalie Portman, for not seeking me out and falling irresistably in love with me.

Helen Mirren, for not seeking me out and falling irresistably in love with me, and for being born 33 years before me.

Jessica Simpson, for playing Daisy Duke when you cleary didn't cut it.

Marge Simpson, for not seeking me out and falling irresistably in love with me, and for not being real.

Wannabe "artists" who think they're already good enough at their art; it's everyone else who doesn't "get it." Oh, yes, you know who I'm talking to.

Those door-to-door college-aged magazine salespeople. Seriously, how long do you think we're going to believe that you're "barely beating your competitors" (ususally guys versus girls), and that you're "this close" to winning a trip to Costa Rica. Word of advice, if you're going to lie about being a communications student from USC, make sure you know the name of the communications program there.

Military "lifers" who think that people who get out to pursue other things are losers.

People who get out of the military to pursue other things who think that military lifers are losers.

The execs at NBC who cancelled The Black Donnellys after hurting its chances by "skipping" an episode. Seriously, how did Jimmy get out of jail?

Anti-war, pro-soldier people. As if that's not oxymoronic at all.

People who quit reading this blog entry before now.