Monday, January 1, 2007


It's here now, the New Year. An arbitrary beginning to a man-made phenomenon, a year, I mean. Arbitrary, yes, but a beginning nonetheless. There are two more days before I can truly celebrate, but I have high hopes for 2007. Not as high as I had for 2006, I can't risk another letdown like that, but definitely high.

New Year's resolutions don't usually mean anything to me, probably because I've never actually kept one, but this year I'm going to have to stand as tall as I used to. Taller, even. It's either that, or 2006 will have been right... I'm quite the failure. And failure is one of the two things I don't handle very well.

I started 2006 a non-smoker. That ended on October 30th. It began again on December 12th. 2007 will not see a cigarette touch my lips.

I started 2006 a shoot-for-the-stars, goal-driven maniac. That ended when I listened to someone else. It's me first, this year. I'm not saying that to be arrogant, but I trusted my own instincts for 27 years, and they served me rather well. I'm hoping those instincts aren't rusty in year 29, despite their lack of use. That being said, I'll try not to be as big a dick as I was before 2006.

If I'm slapped in the face in 2007, I'll take it as a hint. I've been a little slow on the hint-uptake as of late. 2006's hints were like semi trucks, and I'm pretty sure I still don't register any of them.

In 2006, I resolved to finish four new scripts. Well, like I said, I've never actually kept a resolution, but I did finish two new scripts and polished up a third. My quality of writing also improved drastically last year (but it's still not good enough). I hope that 2007 will see the same productivity and improvement.

I've always been a bit of a fighter and a planner, but I must've lost every single "fight" I got into last year. Every single one. I think this year I'll just ride the winds, so to speak... see where they take me. If they blow me into a fight, we'll see how I do. I'll probably lose, but I least I wouldn't have started it.

Notice that none of those, save for the not smoking, are actually resolutions, only hopes. Or rather, the idea of hopes, the idea of resolve and resiliency. Resolve, I think, is not something that can be planned out. It's simply something that happens when you're dealt a bad hand. Resiliency is something that happens after you're hit with one. They're those questions that can't possibly be answered until you're actually there, facing those questions dead in the face. They're those winds that we hope for, that we trust to blow us in the right direction when we need them to. Maybe they will and maybe they won't.

I guess we won't know until 2008.

Happy New Year, everybody, and may the winds blow favorably.


Anonymous said...

Hmm... Who is this semi-positive Jeff?

And 2006 wasn't a total waste for you - don't forget about your beloved Chargers!

Posted by Jessica Lynn on January 1, 2007 - Monday - 10:01 AM

Anonymous said...

this is a really good blog. i am thoroughly impressed at how much you've already changed! so, no cigs touching your lips...aaahhhh...i'm a pervert. ew, just ignore me! seriously though, i'll do my best to keep you in check, but you need to do the same for me. :)


Posted by you have no idea... on January 1, 2007 - Monday - 11:25 AM

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