Thursday, April 27, 2006

Strange Afterthoughts of Language

Everybody knows that English is a highly illogical and fucked up language, but we don't care. We rule the fucking world, and that's how it's going to be.

Anyway, there are two phrases that tend to bug me whenever I hear them:

1) "I've caught a cold" - First of all, who catches a cold? It's not like my cold dug out under the backyard fence and I have to run him down with a milkbone and a leash. Or my partner and I held a stakeout at a house where a suspected cold might be selling drugs. The damn phrase should be "A cold caught me."

2) "I have to take a shit" - Okay. Has anybody actually ever sat down on a toilet and sucked a piece of shit INTO their ass? I haven't, and other than some kinky German women I know, most people usually don't. Verdict: change the phrase to "I have to give a shit."

Bonus) "I don't give a shit." - Really? Even if you did, I wouldn't want you to, because I'm not too particularly fond of the smell. Save it for the toilet (or kinky German women).

1 comment:

Baino said...

You know kinky German women? Perhpas you should have called Jax 'Cold'.

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