Procrastination II: More Adventures Before a Deadline

There's work to be done this week, and a lot of it. Wait, forgive me, that's how I began the last "Adventures Before a Deadline." Pardon me for a few moments while I consider the implications of plagiarizing oneself. Wait, forgive me, you're reading this all at once and won't notice the delay.

Forget I mentioned it.

Truth be told, this entire year's been a procrastination. No, seriously, practically all of 2010. Yeah, there was the occasional gig that required me to physically show up somewhere and work (which, this year, happened to typically be in Las Vegas, which isn't exactly conducive to working hard), but for the most part everything's been a work at home deal (which isn't exactly conducive to working hard).

Met a lot of cool people this year... both via the virtual world and via the real world (what a hazy line that's become, eh?). Some are people who were already writing when I met them, many of whom should pursue publishing (and some who should not). Some are people who I - cough, cough - "strong-armed" (as they'd put it, no doubt) into giving creative writing a shot (surprise, surprise - or not - they're actually good!). Other than that, though, everyone I've met has been a bastard.

Okay, not really, but I'm going for symmetry here. Because, well, looking for symmetry is keeping me from my work, which is what this is all about.

So how else has 2010 been a procrastination? Well, I'll tell you. I've been "trying" to get to my current location for a long time. I left a previous location in October of 2009... and got all of 80 or 90 miles to a friend's house. At which point two of my dogs ran away for five days and screwed up my entire schedule. And instead of getting immediately back on track, I stayed put until March of 2010 (which is when things got a bit... tenuous). From March until July of 2010 I let myself get a tad too comfortable in yet another location that was not my intended location.

Until, finally, I got here. Not that any of that will make sense to anyone (well, it will to a handful, but probably not to you).

I'd have been here earlier, mind you, but a dust-up with a landlord and a delay in work material screwed up my entire schedule. At least no runaway dogs were involved (although a runaway cat almost played a hand).

So here I am, once again rushing before a submission deadline for publication. I thoroughly enjoyed the research portion, but am now caught in the mire of actually producing what my contract dictates I produce. It's not helping that there are a couple of people I prefer wasting my time with (not that I consider them wastes of time... far to the contrary, in fact). Then again, I've given away all of my televisions, brought none of my video games with me, and have temporarily given up any semblance of a nightlife (to and including a substantial personal life).

One would think there'd be nothing to procrastinate with, eh? Ah, Hell no! There's Facebook!

Hang on... time for a status update. "JeffScape is a lazy bastard."

Yeah, that seems to fit at the moment.

Procrastination: Adventures Before a Deadline

There's work to be done this week, and a lot of it. Two critical analyses are due for publication. So, for the first time in recent history, I'm in bed at a good time. Sure, there are a few out there who probably think that 1 AM is not a good time, but they're all pansies who don't watch Craig Ferguson's monologue. Seriously, he's hilarious and worth the sleep deprivation, even if he is Scottish.

Anyway... so, there I was, listlessly sleeping the night away right up until I had a dream that I died in a car accident. I'm not kidding, either. The impact was slow motion and it hurt like Hell. I even woke up in pain. Not that any of this has anything to do with procrastination.

Hang on... a buddy just logged into IM.

Okay, where was I? Oh, yeah, bad dream. Maybe it does have something to do with procrastination, since I'm not well-rested. I did wind up going right back to sleep after waking up at 7:30 this morning. Because, you know, 577 pages need to be read and 4000 words need to be written by Friday. Or is it Thursday? My procrastinating, it seems, has even bled over to reading the fucking contract. Oh, shit... I forgot to watch True Blood and Entourage last night. Be right back.

So... wait, I'm thirsty.

Luckily, I'm a fast reader. There are plenty faster than I am, but I did manage to read an 1100-page trilogy in a day once upon a time, and knocked out Black Hawk Down on a plane ride from SFO to Incheon airport in South Korea. Or maybe it was Gimpo airport, I can't remember. Let me Google it.

Google? Or Bing? I hate the word "bing." It's lame. "Google" isn't much better, but whatever.

Oh, yeah... not sure what airport it was. Who was in Black Hawk Down? The movie, I mean. Josh Hartnett, right? Somebody once said I looked like him. I think somebody's full of it.

These books are sitting here on my desk, just waiting to be cracked open. I read one of them a long time ago... 9th grade, I think. English class. Yeesh... I'm getting old. I've also seen both of the movies made from the two books, but I'm not sure that's going to help much. 2001: A Space Odyssey and The Last Picture Show. In Arthur C. Clarke's book, the ship winds up near Saturn, if I recall, but Stanley Kubrick was getting bored, so he cut it down to Jupiter for the movie version.

I should really get back to work. Need food, though. Off to the store!

Toilet paper? Check. Lean cuisine? Check. Dog food, cat food? Check. Ah, crap... forgot nicotine gum.

So, one of these books is from 1966 and the other is from 1968. At least Larry McMurtry is my favorite author, and it's probably my oversight that I haven't read The Last Picture Show already. Probably? Um, yeah... definitely.

Damn. I'm all out of excuses. Guess I should clean the kitchen.