Table of Contents: Merlot & Coffee

Funny story, this one. It all started with a drunken rant in which I convinced myself that "Merlot & Coffee" would make a good title for a fiction piece (you can read the rant here, if you're curious). Once I sobered up I started formulating a story in my head... and then I won a challenge for The Tenth Daughter of Memory. For those unfamiliar, the winners there get to pick a follow-up topic (called Muses). So, I picked "Merlot & Coffee."

And the rest is history.

Okay, not really, but I had a heck of a time writing these. Yes, the story's life on Irreverent Irrelevance has come to a close, but the rest of it is going to wind up somewhere, I assure you.

"No Meat; No Creamer"
Todd Grayson was not his real name, but it suited him. The alias was a not-so-subtle nod to his favorite comic book character and it reminded him that there was always someone else pulling strings. Even now, as he prepared to pull the strings of one of his charges, someone... Read More

"Your Machete; My Cleaver"
Grayson studies the imagery from the kidnapping. The local police aren't touching this one - the kidnapped man is a known terrorist - and that's a bit of a relief for Grayson. Less interference that way. Tying these loose ends has already taken too much time and the last... Read More

"Matches? Check. Charcoal? Check."
"So, what? It's used for cutting?" Merlot smiles, winks, and successfully distracts and irritates Coffee. She's actually quite adept at demolitions and knows the difference between cutting and concussion charges, but allows Coffee the acknowledgment that, yes, he's better at... Read More

"Mercury Costs More Than Cyanide"
"Truth serum? Come on, Merlot. How amateur is that?" Grayson, tied down to a hospital bed, remains confidently defiant. Though he is a bit confused. Merlot's one of the best in this part of the world - not the best, mind you, for eliminating your best operative is never the wisest thing... Read More

Table of Contents: The Holiday Club

This one isn't a story that was intended to go together, at least not when the first two parts were written. My buddy Tom asked if I were writing an ensemble piece when he read You're Beautiful, and while my answer was no, it dawned on me me that... I could be.

So, I decided to write the third part deliberately to see how it all fit together. You be the judge.

*The title, The Holiday Club, comes from a story I started and pitched years ago. It concerned a group of friends who all seem to experience life-changing tragedies on holidays or while on vacation. Nothing ever happened with the story, but the sentiment seems apt for this one. Perhaps I'll revisit it.

"His Final Lover"
He could never understand what it was about strange, new places that reminded him of home. Or, rather, of her. He had no home, per se, but he often thought of her. No matter how far he ran away, there was a memory chasing her down. Someone had told him that it was simple... Read More

"You're Beautiful"
"You're beautiful," her mother said the first time she held Elise in her arms. Elise didn't remember that instance, but one of her first memories was of her father holding her in his arms and telling her the same thing. She didn't realize that the fall she remembered happening... Read More

"Driven"
Headlights go dark upon impact with the barrier. Wrenching metal twists and snaps, scraping an expensive paint job, one designed to stand out in traffic. But there are no witnesses here. There might have been a squeal of tires and the reverberating hum of anti-lock brakes... Read More

Table of Contents: The Scheherazadi

To the (surprising) chagrin of a few, The Scheherazadi has joined Gateway as a story that will no longer be continued in a public forum. This one I'm quite fond of, as it started out as one of those infamous "write anyway" exercises, but soon found a life of its own. Of course, using 1001 Arabian Nights (along with some Jewish lore) as its basis didn't hurt its prospects at all. I mean, who wouldn't want to play around in a gold mine of stories like that?

"The Scheherazadi, Part I"
Forgive me. You probably have no idea what's going on. Earth is a desert wasteland in my time and there aren't very many people left. A few dozen-million, if that. Yeah, the polar icecaps melted - well, one of them - but not for reasons you're thinking. Some assholes started a nuclear shootout. With all the interceptor defense... Read More

"The Scheherazadi, Part II"
"Why do you say that, Rashid?" a woman asks him. So, yep, his name is Rashid. These people are ridiculously tall. I clock in at 73 inches, but everyone else in the room - the women included - have me beat by at least four more. They're also rather dark... every hue of skin from heavy bronze to deep brown. No... Read More

"The Scheherazadi, Part III"
Most of them stay away from me, save for Morgiana and two other women, Zumarra and Parizade. Although Parizade's kept her distance ever since we almost sealed the deal, if you know what I mean. The only male I have any contact with is Rashid, and he's the prick who walked in on Parizade and me. Everyone else I've interacted with... Read More

Table of Contents: Gateway

I've received several requests to post my multi-part stories as single posts, and I've decided to comply. For those unfamiliar, these are portions of much larger stories, but (in all likelihood) their lifecycle here at Irreverent Irrelevance is complete. Further work on them (if there is any) will be done for the purpose of appearing in other media.

Anyway, the second piece to be "completed" here is a science fiction story - with heavy nods to Arthur C. Clarke, Robert Heinlein, and John W. Campbell - called Gateway.

"Gateway"
The smell of cedar is out of place. Israel is not to the south and there are no trees. He doesn't know what death smells like - perhaps it does smell like wood - but he is resolutely certain that fear should smell like something else. The nitrocellulose in the air does little to staunch the odor. Cedar among blood. It's an interesting scent and its... Read More

"Surface"
Matt feels like he's swimming, though he knows that's impossible. He's unsure why it's impossible, but he knows it is. He almost drowned once, a long time ago, but never developed the fear of water that his parents thought he would. They even went around for a time telling friends that little Matt was afraid of water because of the incident... Read More

"Equation"
Falling from an aircraft and experiencing flight the way only a liar can feels nothing like falling from a planet. Or in this case a moon, Samuel reminds himself. The landscape here doesn't vary and the dark skies make it hard to gauge how high up he actually is. His head hurts, an infection-inspired vertigo, and that his eyes constantly... Read More