Frogs, Turtles, and Why People Suck

Last week as I was heading to work up I-40, a tree frog appeared on my windshield, apparently having used my windshield wiper as a bed the night before. It stared at me, obviously confused as to why the wind was hurtling by. I understood in that way people sometimes claim to understand animals, and slowed down so it wouldn't fly off. The thought crossed my mind to turn around and go back home so the frog could return to its home, but it took a step up the windshield, caught the windshear, and flew into the pavement of the interstate. Don't know if it lived or if it was crushed by oncoming traffic, and it bothered me for a little while (but not too long).

Today, something involving a turtle happened. I believe it was a snapping turtle; it had a set of those big chompers. Anyway, it was crossing the road (a two-lane highway), so I stopped. It stopped on the double-yellow line, and I proceed forward. In the rearview mirror I could see it trying desperately to beat the following traffic, but, thankfully, it appeared to be moving fast enough to avoid an encounter with a tire.

And then it happened... some piece of shit in a GM SUV about a quarter of a mile behind me actually swerved TO HIT the turtle, which by then was no longer even on the road. I'm serious folks, had I had a weapon on me, I'd have pulled over and lit up that fucker as he (or she) drove by.

Later that day I drove that same highway and saw no evidence of a dead turtle, so I'm hoping it made it.

But seriously... people fucking suck. Then again, at least nobody tried to kill that wild turkey I saw in the middle of the road yesterday.

Have a nice day. And vote for Clint Eastwood... who, I'm sure, would have let the turtle cross safely.