And like that, it's over. The year, for me, can officially start. In about 24 hours, I'm going to purposefully miss a flight to North Carolina, which is going to suck, but I need the time to regroup anyway. I'm a little pissed that my dumb ass paid for a non-refundable ticket, but whatever... won't be the first time I've thrown away money; certainly won't be the last.
I can now attack this year with reckless abandon, armed with my imagination and a wilting determination that just needs a little rain and shine to once again follow the sun. Strange how a simple change of date on a calendar can instantly brighten an outlook, isn't it? Then again, I've seen smaller things change lives. Wings out, winds blowing, let's jump.
These last few days have been rather full of turbulence, I must say. I think some of those semi-truck hints I mentioned earlier finally managed to crack my skull with their radiators. Realization is, undoubtedly, better late than never. To walk through life with even a hint of being blind is not exactly a preferred course of action. I have to admit, one of those hints broke my heart very dearly, but I have a year to conquer, and little time to bleed.
My Favorite Enemy
Such as I'm called. It's a long story, and a few of you know it already. The people who don't, well, we'll need to get really drunk before that cat comes out of the bag. Still, it's an apt title. Someone not too long ago told me that I'm good at meeting people. Another said that even the people who hate me, like me. Yet another told me to go fuck myself, but that's a different story.
The point? Well, I think I'm my own favorite enemy. The only thing holding me back, really, is me. That statement can probably be attributed to most of us, but for me, it's definitely true. Yes, I took some hits from others, but nothing I can't overcome and shove back in their faces. And I will... and then I'll tell them to go fuck themselves. With a smile, of course, and I'll probably buy them dinner. No sense in being rude to one's enemies, right?
Shine, Angel
I promised not to get all sappy this year, and I won't, but this deserves to be mentioned before I go all crazy on the world. Not postal, just crazy.
I have a muse, and she's a powerful muse. In fact, I can honestly say that on December 12th of last year, while sitting alone on a freezing hill, I fell in love with her. Of course, like all tortured writers, artists, musicians, what have you, my muse is so far out of my reach, only an Apocalypse can increase my chances with her. There's a theory that we do this on purpose, but I'm not sure I buy that. Art, by its very nature, is a standard set so high, that I think we look for the highest point in everything, and take a shot. Sure, we almost always fall short, but falling just short of the best is still usually pretty fucking good, wouldn't you say? Then again, in this case, falling short means coming away with nothing. But I digress...
Anyway, she's happy enough without me, and probably better off for it, but I'll always be around to make her smile if she needs, or wants. That's a promise. Shine, Angel.
Tomorrow, Something New
I don't know exactly what I'm going to be doing tomorrow, but I do know that I've prepped a new script to write. I know that I'm going to feed my dogs, my cats, and myself. I know that I'm probably going to have a runny nose, cough a few times, sleep too much, and use the bathroom at least three times. Most likely I'll take a shower and brush my teeth. But it's a new day, and something new is bound to happen. I mean, something that's never happened to me before happened to me yesterday. It was disgusting, but I still reveled in the fact that it was a brand new experience. And I'm sure, tomorrow brings something new. If it doesn't, I'll just commit a crime I haven't committed before.
That was a joke.
This isn't, however... Tomorrow, something new.
1 comment:
It really sucks that you're not coming to NC, I really looked forward to having coffee with you. Your'e a meaner.
Posted by **JEAN** on January 4, 2007 - Thursday - 4:10 PM
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