And there they were, Ten Commandments issued by the Holy God himself (or herself, or itself, depending on your personal interpretations).
Not sure why, but I decided to read them the other day, only to receive a few different copies of the Commandments, with variations based on religion. Hmm... Sure, there are obvious similiarities between the "varied" commandments, but support the idea that there's only ONE "true" God, these different versions do not.
Anyway, for sake of argument, lets use the popular Protestant version usually found in the United States.
1. Thou shalt have no other gods before me.
Hmm... this sounds like the ONE "true" God is acknowledging the presence of other gods, doesn't it? Yeah, he/she/it could be stating that there are no other gods, but if that were the case, why isn't the commandment: THERE ARE NO OTHER GODS?
2. Thou shalt not make for thyself an idol.
Um, clear that one up for me? Like, an Oscar? Or a statue? Or Simon Cowell, Paula Abdul, and Randy Jackson? I'm confused.
3. Thou shalt not make wrongful use of the name of thy God.
Okay... how about letting us know what the RIGHTFUL use of the name of thy God is?
4. Remember the Sabbath and keep it holy.
Well, it's a well-known fact that the Sabbath wasn't always on Sunday, so it appears as though nearly every single Judeo-Christian church threw this one out... never mind us agnostics.
5. Honor thy Mother and Father.
Okay, I can deal with this one.
6. Thou shalt not murder.
Murder what? Anything? Dogs, cats, cows, and pigs included? Plants? What the fuck are we supposed to eat? And I hope flies aren't in that list... I fucking hate flies. What kind of god would make an animal that eats shit and then shits on your food?
7. Thou shalt not commit adultery.
I'm down with this one, too.
8. Thou shalt not steal.
Okay.
9. Thou shalt not bear false witness.
Does this mean lie? Or does it have to do with the whole religious "witness" meaning? Or both? As Homer Simpson so eloquently put it: "This book doesn't have any answers."
10. Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor's wife.
Okay, fine... but how about that stranger's wife across town?
As Yoda would say, blasphemous I am...
Showing posts with label Simon Cowell. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Simon Cowell. Show all posts
Thursday, August 23, 2007
Tuesday, February 6, 2007
My Girlfriend Likes My Poetry
Watching Simon Cowell dissuade some of the American Idol contestants is extremely funny. Sometimes, though, it's also very painful. Cowell gets criticized all of the time for being too mean, too coarse, too much of a dickhead. In reality, however, he's doing those people a favor. If you can't sing, have no hope of being able to sing, and aren't willing to take lessons and "come back next year," then you need to be told that you suck so you can give up and do something else with your life.
So begs the question, what the fuck were those people doing trying out in the first place? Well, they were likely done a great disservice by people they thought were friends. I'm talking mothers, siblings, drinking buddies. These people likely told those American Idol rejects "No, you really can sing."
Assholes all, I say.
I'm a writer. I'm also somewhat of a musician. And while it's important to know what your potential audience is going to think of your work, I discovered a long time ago that in order to get a really accurate and honest appraisal of your work, you need to ask other writers, other musicians, producers, editors. Basically, other professionals.
Except for those unfortunate enough to have really mean parents, your mother is always going to love your work. "Oh, baby, that's so good. You should try to get this published." And therein lies the danger of familial encouragement... your mother probably doesn't know shit, and is the last person you should be asking an opinion of.
Same goes with your girlfriend. And your friends in general.
In fact, stooping so low as to ask your regular buddies for opinions of your work is probably an indication that your own subconscious thinks your "art" sucks. And if that's the case, it's time you thought about doing something else.
The only thing worse than getting an opinion from a drinking buddy or a significant other is asking a friend that is qualified, and being lied to. Seriously, if you're a writer, and your friend's writing sucks, you need to tell him or her that. Feelings can't be spared in today's art and entertainment industries. There is just too much competition. Is making someone feel better now, only for that person to realize they suck later, really worth sparing heartache? Lives are wasted that way.
My girlfriend likes my poetry, she really does... but only because she has to.
So begs the question, what the fuck were those people doing trying out in the first place? Well, they were likely done a great disservice by people they thought were friends. I'm talking mothers, siblings, drinking buddies. These people likely told those American Idol rejects "No, you really can sing."
Assholes all, I say.
I'm a writer. I'm also somewhat of a musician. And while it's important to know what your potential audience is going to think of your work, I discovered a long time ago that in order to get a really accurate and honest appraisal of your work, you need to ask other writers, other musicians, producers, editors. Basically, other professionals.
Except for those unfortunate enough to have really mean parents, your mother is always going to love your work. "Oh, baby, that's so good. You should try to get this published." And therein lies the danger of familial encouragement... your mother probably doesn't know shit, and is the last person you should be asking an opinion of.
Same goes with your girlfriend. And your friends in general.
In fact, stooping so low as to ask your regular buddies for opinions of your work is probably an indication that your own subconscious thinks your "art" sucks. And if that's the case, it's time you thought about doing something else.
The only thing worse than getting an opinion from a drinking buddy or a significant other is asking a friend that is qualified, and being lied to. Seriously, if you're a writer, and your friend's writing sucks, you need to tell him or her that. Feelings can't be spared in today's art and entertainment industries. There is just too much competition. Is making someone feel better now, only for that person to realize they suck later, really worth sparing heartache? Lives are wasted that way.
My girlfriend likes my poetry, she really does... but only because she has to.
Tuesday, May 23, 2006
My Two Cents on Americal Idol
This is the first season of American Idol that I've watched. I caught bits and pieces of the last couple of shows from last season, but like a lot of Americans, I'm far more interested in watching the audition train wrecks (William Hung, anyone?) than I am the actual competition.
However, thanks to an overzealous girlfriend, an equally overzealous sister, and an accidental run-in with Bucky and Paris, I've been forced to watch this year's competition... and, unfortunately, have become a bit addicted (not 24 or Lost addicted, but close enough). And so, I've decided to jot down what I think of a few of the contestants and who I think should win.
The first of the two finalists is the seemingly genuine, all-around fun-loving guy with the gray hair, Taylor Hicks. He's got a niche (think Joe Cocker, or even Tom Petty), he's got talent, and he plays several instruments on top of it. Then there's Katharine McPhee, surprisingly attractive, "I want to be a sexy pop singer but I'm more suited for singing in musicals," and "oh, I'm also a snob from Hell." Based on those descriptions, take a wild guess on who I want to win.
Seriously, can McPhee be any more snobby? I'm just shocked that most of America doesn't see it. Yeah, Simon, Paula, and Randy can be hard to take seriously at times, but has there ever been ONE instance that McPhee DIDN'T roll her eyes when the judges were being critical? McPhee... you are NOT perfect, are NOWHERE near perfect, and can't sing ANYWHERE near perfect. Take their advice, shut up, improve. You're like that idiot who takes acting lessons, but thinks you're already Academy Award caliber. And what's worse, you shouldn't even be in the finals...
Hell, she shouldn't have even been in the final three. Taylor, Elliot Yamin, and Chris Daughtry should've been the final three. At least then we'd have three relatively humble people. Three who would truly appreciate being where they are, instead of (as music consultant Dennis O'Donnell put it) thinking "she deserves it."
That being said, she has at least attempted some variety. Elliot Yamin stayed predictably safe in his choices (read: they all sounded the same after about the third week) and Chris Daughtry, despite his apparent fanboy appeal, was clearly a one-trick pony (quit that stupid throat trill... enough already), albeit a one-trick pony with potential.
Anyway, I'm already bored with American Idol. Let's hope that Taylor wins and goes on to become successful, and let's hope that Katharine becomes less of a snob, or at least falls off the face of the planet.
However, thanks to an overzealous girlfriend, an equally overzealous sister, and an accidental run-in with Bucky and Paris, I've been forced to watch this year's competition... and, unfortunately, have become a bit addicted (not 24 or Lost addicted, but close enough). And so, I've decided to jot down what I think of a few of the contestants and who I think should win.
The first of the two finalists is the seemingly genuine, all-around fun-loving guy with the gray hair, Taylor Hicks. He's got a niche (think Joe Cocker, or even Tom Petty), he's got talent, and he plays several instruments on top of it. Then there's Katharine McPhee, surprisingly attractive, "I want to be a sexy pop singer but I'm more suited for singing in musicals," and "oh, I'm also a snob from Hell." Based on those descriptions, take a wild guess on who I want to win.
Seriously, can McPhee be any more snobby? I'm just shocked that most of America doesn't see it. Yeah, Simon, Paula, and Randy can be hard to take seriously at times, but has there ever been ONE instance that McPhee DIDN'T roll her eyes when the judges were being critical? McPhee... you are NOT perfect, are NOWHERE near perfect, and can't sing ANYWHERE near perfect. Take their advice, shut up, improve. You're like that idiot who takes acting lessons, but thinks you're already Academy Award caliber. And what's worse, you shouldn't even be in the finals...
Hell, she shouldn't have even been in the final three. Taylor, Elliot Yamin, and Chris Daughtry should've been the final three. At least then we'd have three relatively humble people. Three who would truly appreciate being where they are, instead of (as music consultant Dennis O'Donnell put it) thinking "she deserves it."
That being said, she has at least attempted some variety. Elliot Yamin stayed predictably safe in his choices (read: they all sounded the same after about the third week) and Chris Daughtry, despite his apparent fanboy appeal, was clearly a one-trick pony (quit that stupid throat trill... enough already), albeit a one-trick pony with potential.
Anyway, I'm already bored with American Idol. Let's hope that Taylor wins and goes on to become successful, and let's hope that Katharine becomes less of a snob, or at least falls off the face of the planet.
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