*Continued from The Burning of Messina
"Robin? What do we do?" Gilbert the White Hand is terrified, and for good reason. Of the stories that made their way to England of Muslim prisoners, none were very encouraging.
"Keep your mouth shut. I'll do the talking." Robin is terrified himself, but is far more adept at maintaining a calm exterior than his companion. Robin is quite glad that one of the Merry Makers is with him and he's especially glad that it's Gilbert. Not only is Gilbert the second-best archer in the group - and, in fact, the group's cook - but he's also the man Robin has known the longest. Serendipity has found its way to the battlefield and Robin takes care not to take it for granted.
"What if none of these heathens speak English?"
It's a valid concern, but some are bound to speak French, and Robin's French should be good enough to communicate.
"Remember, Gilbert," Robin utters, "we're the heathens here."
Eyeing the well-dressed Moor approaching them, Robin briefly reflects on the stupid and greed-influenced decision of the Christian Army to break into plunder while in the middle of the battle for Acre. A side effect, no doubt, of many of their great leaders being sent back to England. Though Robin will not even silently admit it to himself, his thoughts refer to John Bower. The breakdown of discipline in the line would simply never have happened had Bower been there. But the coward had willingly accompanied Eleanor of Acquitaine back to their homeland, and Robin and his men - those still alive - had been left to rot. Even the Templars were forced into retreat.
The Moor reaches Robin, grins widely and, much to Robin's surprise, converses in English. "I am Tariq al-Din. I am in need of slaves. You and your companion seem fit enough."
Robin, still attempting to gauge this man, responds, "I wasn't aware Saladin allowed Christians to be purchased as slaves."
Tariq al-Din laughs. "Then you, my friend, are not very educated." Continuing his laughter, al-Din turns to the guards. "I'll take these two."
***
John Bower hates that he's in England. Hates it so much he's often thought of abandoning his duties and finding his own passage to Jerusalem to join his men. But he knows such an action would be beyond foolish and would likely prevent him from ever returning home. He was under the initial impression that after escorting Eleanor back to London, he would be dispatched back to the Crusade, but Eleanor found Bower charming and professional and convinced her son, Prince John, to award him an official military position. Bower, not wanting to appear discourteous or ungrateful, accepted the position.
Over the course of his assignment, Bower came to despise the Prince. Though Bower's loyalty to Richard did not play a large role in Bower's souring towards the Prince, it certainly remained on his mind. But the Prince has a horrible and insulting sense of humor and has taken to calling Bower "Little John" behind closed doors, the Prince implying himself as "Big John." This created an even larger circle of revolting - to Bower - humor, as Bower clearly is the larger in stature of the two.
In his spare time - which is a dishearteningly ample amount - Bower theorizes methods to get himself honorably removed from his current role.
***
"So, what are your names?" Tariq al-Din asks his two new slaves as he takes a bite of roasted lamb.
Initially, Robin and Gilbert fear that the Moor is going to maliciously enjoy his meal in front of them, but al-Din cuts three portions from the meat, then releases Robin and Gilbert from their bonds. Robin glares up at al-Din.
"You're a brave man."
Tariq laughs. "Not really. I just know that you've no idea where you are. And two wandering Englishmen wouldn't last long out here even if you did. Would you like to eat? I'm more than satisfied saving this meat for later enjoyment."
Gilbert can hold his appetite no longer and grabs his offering, wolfing it down. It's not how he would have prepared it, but it's the best meal he's had since before Acre. Al-Din's smile doesn't fade as he hands Gilbert a bladder of water.
Robin takes his meal and sits near the fire. Al-Din is right. Without the Moor, he and Gilbert have no hope of survival, never mind getting home. "So what's your story, then? What are you to do with us?"
Al-Din sits across from the two and resumes his meal. "You are very rude, English. I asked you a question."
Sensing opportunity, Robin quickly formulates a plan in his mind. "Robin, Earl of Huntington."
Gilbert's expression almost gives the jig up before it even has a chance to find its rhythm.
"You are a noble?" Al-Din is no fool and Robin can tell the Moor doesn't immediately believe him. Robin nods in response. "You are not a simple archer?"
To this, Robin himself almost winces. "No. This man is my attendant, Gilbert of the White Hand."
His attention mostly on his piece of lamb, al-Din inquires, "The White Hand?"
"I'm a cook," Gilbert interjects, too eagerly for Robin's liking.
Al-Din laughs again. He is, apparently, a jovial man.
"Well, my friends. I have a desire to see where you come from. I've heard tales of England since I was but a boy and nothing would please me more than accompanying a noble to his homeland." This is the last thing Robin and Gilbert expect al-Din to say. "As a guest, of course."
"I don't understand. We are not slaves?"
"Here, you are. But, no, I do not keep slaves. It took much persuasion to convince Saladin to sell you to me."
Robin laughs. Perhaps fortune is with him, after all. "When do we leave?"
"My friend, we are already on our way."
Robin is no fool, either. He is quite aware that they have been traveling south, then west, for several days. "England is north and west of the Holy Land. We went south."
"As you would not fare well through these lands, I am quite aware that I would fare even more poorly traveling overland through yours. We will obtain passage to the Kingdom of Portugal on a vessel out of Morocco. Despite being pushed out of Iberia, my family's merchant interests remain strong, so this will be no issue. Does this satisfy you?"
Knowing his response doesn't really matter - and completely distrustful of al-Din's true motives, whatever they may be - Robin simply nods politely and continues to eat.
*To be continued...
Showing posts with label Robin Hood. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Robin Hood. Show all posts
Thursday, August 5, 2010
Tuesday, June 15, 2010
The Burning of Messina
"We're doing what?" The corporal is incredulous. Surely King Richard - he'd been king for barely a year - wouldn't risk an army of crusaders to free his sister.
The Man-at-Arms leading the flank turns to the corporal, grim-faced, though with a glint of humor. "What do you expect? Him to leave Joan in the hands of that bastard, Tancred? Don't be stupid."
Any other superior would have expected the corporal to hang his head in embarrassment, but Sergeant John Bower is known for encouraging his men to ask questions... and question ridiculous orders (as long as those questions were directed to John Bower himself, naturally... other Men-at-Arms and Knights were not so encouraging).
"Prepare the archers, Corporal," John orders. "Separate them into smaller squads. They'll need to remain as mobile as possible when we enter Messina."
"Yes, Sergeant," the corporal replies, then leaves to conduct his duties.
John finishes writing some tactical amendments on a scroll, rolls and seals it, and hands it to a messenger. "Ensure King Philip's men are informed of these changes, as well." Richard, John knows, will want full credit for capturing the Sicilian capital, but it will be strategically advantageous for the French contingent to be on the same page as the English. Rivals make poor partners, after all. And John is far too pragmatic to let competition get in the way of victory.
In addition to his pragmatism, John is also a proponent of irregular and unconventional warfare. Unlike the Lords and Knights he serves, he is uninhibited by chivalry, and often takes full advantage of his plebeian station. It is one reason he is highly sought after as a Man-at-Arms. He will do what it takes to win, regardless of anyone's perspective of his methods. He is confident his flank will move through Messina quite rapidly, his men consisting of the best archer/hunters in all of Britain.
***
Robin of Nottinghamshire is, above all else, an archer and a hunter. The best, in fact. At least in the eyes of everyone who knows him and, indeed, everyone who's heard of him. Which isn't all that many people, to say the least. Still, his reputation is strong enough that John Bower personally requested Robin to lead his contingent of archers. Though the two share a great deal of respect for one another - John in awe of Robin's skill with the bow, as well as his ability to motivate people... Robin in awe of John's tactical and strategic mind - they don't particularly care for each other. Still, Robin loves serving under John's command, as it not only increases Robin's chances of victory, but chances of survival, as well. In all of the ridiculous engagements he's been forced into by nobles, Robin has never come across a better leader.
After the corporal leaves, Robin turns to his small band of men - known as the Merry Makers among the armies here, for various reasons - and smiles. His men love it when he smiles. "Drink up, lads. We're to be wolves in the fold."
***
The timing couldn't have been better. Messina's populace revolted against Tancred in protest of the presence of foreign troops, and King Richard initiated the assault shortly after. The combination of civil unrest and foreign invasion were, by themselves, enough to foster the capture of the city. John Bower's strategy and Robin's execution of it only made the capture seem unfair. Even to Robin.
Robin is not, by definition, a ruthless man, though his small reputation is suggestive to the contrary. He has killed men - quite many - but only because he's told to. His aim with the arrow is always true and he prefers to make shots that are as quickly fatal as possible. The inherent irony is that this is the very action responsible for his reputation. It bothers him a little, but he knows he has to live with it lest he truly become a ruthless, unmerciful soldier.
Soldier. The very term drives him crazy. He is a simple man and would much prefer to be tilling the land of his employer rather than shooting enemies of his king who he cares nothing about. He had been stuck on this God-forsaken island for nearly six months and quietly longed for a return to England. Word had come that Eleanor of Aquitaine - who had arrived to help smooth over Tancred's surrender and Joan's return - would be returning home and that John Bower would accompany her as part of a military escort. Robin hoped that, despite their differences, Bower would bring him, as well.
But it was not to be.
*To be continued...
The Man-at-Arms leading the flank turns to the corporal, grim-faced, though with a glint of humor. "What do you expect? Him to leave Joan in the hands of that bastard, Tancred? Don't be stupid."
Any other superior would have expected the corporal to hang his head in embarrassment, but Sergeant John Bower is known for encouraging his men to ask questions... and question ridiculous orders (as long as those questions were directed to John Bower himself, naturally... other Men-at-Arms and Knights were not so encouraging).
"Prepare the archers, Corporal," John orders. "Separate them into smaller squads. They'll need to remain as mobile as possible when we enter Messina."
"Yes, Sergeant," the corporal replies, then leaves to conduct his duties.
John finishes writing some tactical amendments on a scroll, rolls and seals it, and hands it to a messenger. "Ensure King Philip's men are informed of these changes, as well." Richard, John knows, will want full credit for capturing the Sicilian capital, but it will be strategically advantageous for the French contingent to be on the same page as the English. Rivals make poor partners, after all. And John is far too pragmatic to let competition get in the way of victory.
In addition to his pragmatism, John is also a proponent of irregular and unconventional warfare. Unlike the Lords and Knights he serves, he is uninhibited by chivalry, and often takes full advantage of his plebeian station. It is one reason he is highly sought after as a Man-at-Arms. He will do what it takes to win, regardless of anyone's perspective of his methods. He is confident his flank will move through Messina quite rapidly, his men consisting of the best archer/hunters in all of Britain.
***
Robin of Nottinghamshire is, above all else, an archer and a hunter. The best, in fact. At least in the eyes of everyone who knows him and, indeed, everyone who's heard of him. Which isn't all that many people, to say the least. Still, his reputation is strong enough that John Bower personally requested Robin to lead his contingent of archers. Though the two share a great deal of respect for one another - John in awe of Robin's skill with the bow, as well as his ability to motivate people... Robin in awe of John's tactical and strategic mind - they don't particularly care for each other. Still, Robin loves serving under John's command, as it not only increases Robin's chances of victory, but chances of survival, as well. In all of the ridiculous engagements he's been forced into by nobles, Robin has never come across a better leader.
After the corporal leaves, Robin turns to his small band of men - known as the Merry Makers among the armies here, for various reasons - and smiles. His men love it when he smiles. "Drink up, lads. We're to be wolves in the fold."
***
The timing couldn't have been better. Messina's populace revolted against Tancred in protest of the presence of foreign troops, and King Richard initiated the assault shortly after. The combination of civil unrest and foreign invasion were, by themselves, enough to foster the capture of the city. John Bower's strategy and Robin's execution of it only made the capture seem unfair. Even to Robin.
Robin is not, by definition, a ruthless man, though his small reputation is suggestive to the contrary. He has killed men - quite many - but only because he's told to. His aim with the arrow is always true and he prefers to make shots that are as quickly fatal as possible. The inherent irony is that this is the very action responsible for his reputation. It bothers him a little, but he knows he has to live with it lest he truly become a ruthless, unmerciful soldier.
Soldier. The very term drives him crazy. He is a simple man and would much prefer to be tilling the land of his employer rather than shooting enemies of his king who he cares nothing about. He had been stuck on this God-forsaken island for nearly six months and quietly longed for a return to England. Word had come that Eleanor of Aquitaine - who had arrived to help smooth over Tancred's surrender and Joan's return - would be returning home and that John Bower would accompany her as part of a military escort. Robin hoped that, despite their differences, Bower would bring him, as well.
But it was not to be.
*To be continued...
Monday, June 7, 2010
Irreviews, 2010: Issue IX
Alice in Wonderland (2010)
Director: Tim Burton
Writer(s): Linda Woolverton, Lewis Carroll (books)
Starring: Mia Wasikowska, Johnny Depp, Helena Bonham Carter
-----
It's been a while since Alice has graced the silver screen and it shouldn't be a surprise that it was Tim Burton who decided to return her there. Part remake of the Disney animated film and part sequel, the film is entertaining as both, though there are things lost in translation. Without the source material (Carroll's books) fresh in mind, many of the nuances and homages to the original works will come and go without so much as a blink. Still, the production design and art direction are delights, Johnny Depp is eerily eerie as the Mad Hatter (who, following a recent trend in Wonderland interpretations, is elevated to a primary protagonist), and I can't think of a better director for a live action Alice in Wonderland than Tim Burton. The 3D, while competent, seems mostly unnecessary.
Verdict: SEE it. Just make sure to re-familiarize yourself with the original stories before you do.
The Last Word (1995)
Director: Tony Spiridakis
Writer(s): Tony Spiridakis
Starring: Timothy Hutton, Joe Pantoliano, Michelle Burke
-----
Also known as Cosa Nostra because of a ridiculous subplot involving the Mafia, this film's ridiculousness only starts there. Starring a surprisingly excellent cast (including Tony Goldwyn, as well as Chazz Palmintieri, Richard Dreyfuss, and Cybill Shepherd in scene-stealing cameos - which wasn't hard to do in this film), I had high(er) hopes for this one. But a script rife with ridiculous dialog and a convoluted plot killed any chance of it being good. Overdirected, overacted, and painfully disjointed, there's quite literally nothing to see (or speak of) here.
Verdict: SKIP it.
Les Triplettes de Belleville (2003)
Director: Sylvain Chomet
Writer(s): Sylvain Chomet
Starring: Er... nobody, really... just cartoon characters and some singing voices
-----
As a fan of animation in nearly all of its forms, I was remiss in not catching this when it was released. It is truly a wonderful and weird film. I can't think of five French cartoons I've seen, but if they're typically like this, I'll be watching quite a few in the near future. Practically a silent film (many sound effects, some singing, no dialog), the script is absent logic and the style of the animation is low on realism. And what a fantastic combination that makes. I won't explain more, partially because it needs to be seen to be understood and partially because there's actually nothing to explain. Notable for the strangest and most charming chase scene in animation history.
Verdict: SEE it. Its weirdness demands a view.
Nausicaä of the Valley of the Wind (1984)
Director: Hayao Miyazaki
Writer(s): Hayao Miyazaki
Starring: Japanese voice actors you don't know
-----
One of Miyazaki's (Spirited Away, Princess Mononoke) earliest theatrical efforts, it's quite a thing to learn that the formula he uses in his storytelling hasn't changed much over the years... and still doesn't seem stale. Though his more recent films are arguably better, Nausicaä of the Valley of the Wind is an excellent film. Based upon Miyazaki's own manga, the transition from page to screen is unnoticeable to a casual observer. Always on the cutting edge of fanstastical conceptual design and full of environmentalist commentary, this one can be enjoyed on several levels.
Verdict: SEE it. Miyazaki films are practically always must-sees.
Robin Hood (2010)
Director: Ridley Scott
Writer(s): Brian Helgeland, Ethan Reiff (story), Cyrus Voris (story)
Starring: Russell Crowe, Cate Blanchett, Mark Strong
-----
As wth Alice in Wonderland, it's been a while since we've had a film version of Robin Hood. Ridley Scott, following in his own footsteps, decided to present us with a historical look at Robin Hood, much like Hollywood tried with King Arthur a few years ago. The result is a good movie (one rife with historical inaccuracies) that is decidedly not a Robin Hood movie. While Russell Crowe pulls off the outlaw better than most expected (or give him credit for), the fact that the legendary Robin Hood that everyone knows and loves is almost completely absent from the story will undoubtedly hurt it. That stated, it's an interesting interpretation. Perhaps viewing this as a continuation of Scott's Kingdom of Heaven will allow you to appreciate it more than you will appreciate it as a Robin Hood film.
Verdict: SEE it. A different enough take on the Robin Hood mythos to warrant a view.
Director: Tim Burton
Writer(s): Linda Woolverton, Lewis Carroll (books)
Starring: Mia Wasikowska, Johnny Depp, Helena Bonham Carter
-----
It's been a while since Alice has graced the silver screen and it shouldn't be a surprise that it was Tim Burton who decided to return her there. Part remake of the Disney animated film and part sequel, the film is entertaining as both, though there are things lost in translation. Without the source material (Carroll's books) fresh in mind, many of the nuances and homages to the original works will come and go without so much as a blink. Still, the production design and art direction are delights, Johnny Depp is eerily eerie as the Mad Hatter (who, following a recent trend in Wonderland interpretations, is elevated to a primary protagonist), and I can't think of a better director for a live action Alice in Wonderland than Tim Burton. The 3D, while competent, seems mostly unnecessary.
Verdict: SEE it. Just make sure to re-familiarize yourself with the original stories before you do.
The Last Word (1995)
Director: Tony Spiridakis
Writer(s): Tony Spiridakis
Starring: Timothy Hutton, Joe Pantoliano, Michelle Burke
-----
Also known as Cosa Nostra because of a ridiculous subplot involving the Mafia, this film's ridiculousness only starts there. Starring a surprisingly excellent cast (including Tony Goldwyn, as well as Chazz Palmintieri, Richard Dreyfuss, and Cybill Shepherd in scene-stealing cameos - which wasn't hard to do in this film), I had high(er) hopes for this one. But a script rife with ridiculous dialog and a convoluted plot killed any chance of it being good. Overdirected, overacted, and painfully disjointed, there's quite literally nothing to see (or speak of) here.
Verdict: SKIP it.
Les Triplettes de Belleville (2003)
Director: Sylvain Chomet
Writer(s): Sylvain Chomet
Starring: Er... nobody, really... just cartoon characters and some singing voices
-----
As a fan of animation in nearly all of its forms, I was remiss in not catching this when it was released. It is truly a wonderful and weird film. I can't think of five French cartoons I've seen, but if they're typically like this, I'll be watching quite a few in the near future. Practically a silent film (many sound effects, some singing, no dialog), the script is absent logic and the style of the animation is low on realism. And what a fantastic combination that makes. I won't explain more, partially because it needs to be seen to be understood and partially because there's actually nothing to explain. Notable for the strangest and most charming chase scene in animation history.
Verdict: SEE it. Its weirdness demands a view.
Nausicaä of the Valley of the Wind (1984)
Director: Hayao Miyazaki
Writer(s): Hayao Miyazaki
Starring: Japanese voice actors you don't know
-----
One of Miyazaki's (Spirited Away, Princess Mononoke) earliest theatrical efforts, it's quite a thing to learn that the formula he uses in his storytelling hasn't changed much over the years... and still doesn't seem stale. Though his more recent films are arguably better, Nausicaä of the Valley of the Wind is an excellent film. Based upon Miyazaki's own manga, the transition from page to screen is unnoticeable to a casual observer. Always on the cutting edge of fanstastical conceptual design and full of environmentalist commentary, this one can be enjoyed on several levels.
Verdict: SEE it. Miyazaki films are practically always must-sees.
Robin Hood (2010)
Director: Ridley Scott
Writer(s): Brian Helgeland, Ethan Reiff (story), Cyrus Voris (story)
Starring: Russell Crowe, Cate Blanchett, Mark Strong
-----
As wth Alice in Wonderland, it's been a while since we've had a film version of Robin Hood. Ridley Scott, following in his own footsteps, decided to present us with a historical look at Robin Hood, much like Hollywood tried with King Arthur a few years ago. The result is a good movie (one rife with historical inaccuracies) that is decidedly not a Robin Hood movie. While Russell Crowe pulls off the outlaw better than most expected (or give him credit for), the fact that the legendary Robin Hood that everyone knows and loves is almost completely absent from the story will undoubtedly hurt it. That stated, it's an interesting interpretation. Perhaps viewing this as a continuation of Scott's Kingdom of Heaven will allow you to appreciate it more than you will appreciate it as a Robin Hood film.
Verdict: SEE it. A different enough take on the Robin Hood mythos to warrant a view.
Wednesday, May 26, 2010
Ridley Scott's Robin Hood
Of myths and legends, there are many (hundreds... thousands, even) I love. Regarding mythologies, I can safely claim that the Greek Mythos is my favorite. Regarding legends... well, that favorite would have to be Robin Hood.
Robin Hood, to me, has them all beat. King Arthur included. Maybe it's because I favor archery to swordplay, or maybe it's because Robin Hood has more successfully blended himself with factual history than has King Arthur. I guess I don't really know why, but good ol' Sherwood is just more attractive to me than the Round Table.
From N.C. Wyeth's fabulous oil paintings to Louis Rhead's amalgamation/interpretation of the overall legend; from Errol Flynn to a Disney-animated fox; from Sean Connery to Kevin Costner; from supporting roles in Ivanhoe to cameo appearances in Defender of the Crown... I just love Robin Hood.
So, by now it should be no surprise that I eagerly awaited the latest film adaption of the tale. One directed by an outstanding filmmaker (and a personal favorite), Ridley Scott, and starring one of the better actors of the current generation, Russell Crowe. I mean, these guys did Gladiator together. There was no doubt in my mind that this Robin Hood was just going to be a kick-ass film.
And then I watched it. It was definitely kick-ass. But, somehow, it was also very disappointing.
Before I continue, let's clear this up: Ridley Scott's Robin Hood is a good movie. Not as good as Gladiator (or even Kingdom of Heaven), but it's still very, very good.
But it wasn't Robin Hood.
Oh, sure, the names were the same, the era of history was the same, etc. But it wasn't Robin Hood. It was... it was... hmm... it was simply another "historical war movie." I have to apologize, as I'm really at a loss to explain this. The film just wasn't Robin Hood.
Now, Ridley Scott did a fine job tying the legend in with history (a much better job than Antoine Fuqua did with that King Arthur movie a few years ago) and really did put together a wonderful film... but the "Robin Hood" part of Robin Hood seemed absent (I apologize again, as I'm now repeating myself).
And... and... Russell Crowe was a very good titular character. Many complained about his casting, but like Michael Keaton as Batman, it worked. Not only that, Russell Crowe looks a bit like he could be a wrestler, and anyone familiar with the literary Robin Hood knows that the outlaw is only good at two things: archery and (voila!) wrestling. So Crowe was fine for me.
And Mark Strong rocked as the villain (as he always does, it seems).
But it just wasn't Robin Hood.
All that stated, go see it, for it is a good movie. And it sets itself up for a sequel which (probably unsurprisingly) looks like it will be "Robin Hood." I won't explain more... the film deserves a view.
Robin Hood, to me, has them all beat. King Arthur included. Maybe it's because I favor archery to swordplay, or maybe it's because Robin Hood has more successfully blended himself with factual history than has King Arthur. I guess I don't really know why, but good ol' Sherwood is just more attractive to me than the Round Table.
From N.C. Wyeth's fabulous oil paintings to Louis Rhead's amalgamation/interpretation of the overall legend; from Errol Flynn to a Disney-animated fox; from Sean Connery to Kevin Costner; from supporting roles in Ivanhoe to cameo appearances in Defender of the Crown... I just love Robin Hood.
So, by now it should be no surprise that I eagerly awaited the latest film adaption of the tale. One directed by an outstanding filmmaker (and a personal favorite), Ridley Scott, and starring one of the better actors of the current generation, Russell Crowe. I mean, these guys did Gladiator together. There was no doubt in my mind that this Robin Hood was just going to be a kick-ass film.
And then I watched it. It was definitely kick-ass. But, somehow, it was also very disappointing.
Before I continue, let's clear this up: Ridley Scott's Robin Hood is a good movie. Not as good as Gladiator (or even Kingdom of Heaven), but it's still very, very good.
But it wasn't Robin Hood.
Oh, sure, the names were the same, the era of history was the same, etc. But it wasn't Robin Hood. It was... it was... hmm... it was simply another "historical war movie." I have to apologize, as I'm really at a loss to explain this. The film just wasn't Robin Hood.
Now, Ridley Scott did a fine job tying the legend in with history (a much better job than Antoine Fuqua did with that King Arthur movie a few years ago) and really did put together a wonderful film... but the "Robin Hood" part of Robin Hood seemed absent (I apologize again, as I'm now repeating myself).
And... and... Russell Crowe was a very good titular character. Many complained about his casting, but like Michael Keaton as Batman, it worked. Not only that, Russell Crowe looks a bit like he could be a wrestler, and anyone familiar with the literary Robin Hood knows that the outlaw is only good at two things: archery and (voila!) wrestling. So Crowe was fine for me.
And Mark Strong rocked as the villain (as he always does, it seems).
But it just wasn't Robin Hood.
All that stated, go see it, for it is a good movie. And it sets itself up for a sequel which (probably unsurprisingly) looks like it will be "Robin Hood." I won't explain more... the film deserves a view.
Friday, June 27, 2008
10 Underrated Movies
Have you ever seen a movie that seemingly nobody else you knew had seen? And wondered why the Hell that particular movie wasn't some uber-box office smash? Well, I have. Far too often, great movies are overlooked by the less-than-bright average American. And I just feel like ranting about that.
Anyway, the list:
1. 28 Weeks Later - most horror sequels suck. This one... doesn't. A believable script coupled with a semi-plausible premise following the semi-plausible 28 Days Later, I'm quite surprised it didn't do better at the box office. Effortless characterization builds on real life cliche and provides a thrill ride in which you're finally not rooting for the monsters to rip apart the inept protagonists. While I'm still leery of the announced 28 Months Later, because of 28 Weeks Later, I'm actually sort of looking forward to it.
2. Arlington Road - predating 9/11, this ultra-creepy and ultra-paranoid tale of terrorism only became more relevant after the fall of the Twin Towers. Expertly crafted, the film featured downright disturbing acting from Tim Robbins and Joan Cusack, and should be revisited. A subtly powerful film made even more powerful by real world events.
3. Dark City - before The Matrix asked pop culture "what is real?," Dark City cerebrally presented the question in the form of a neo-noir science fiction film, replete with trench coat-wearing aliens. Arguably a superior film to The Matrix, the mood more intense, the tone more realistic, but the marketing... well, that was non-existent. Director Alex Proyas' feature followup to The Crow, this one is a must see.
4. The Iron Giant - Yep, a cartoon. And not just any cartoon... it's easily one of the best of the last 10 years, and with the possible exception of Lilo & Stitch (another underrated film), the best science fiction cartoon since, well... I'll get back to you on that. Funny, touching, and all-too-human, this should be in the movie library of every self-respecting parent.
5. Robin Hood - no, not the Kevin Costner vehicle, the one with the guy from Sleeping With the Enemy. Undoubtedly a victim of Prince of Thieves syndrome, this film was not theatrically released in the United States, despite starring Uma Thurman as Maid Marian. More traditional than the Costner film, it still took enough liberties with the original Robin Hood tales to remain an enjoyable, not too predictable film.
6. Ronin - quite possibly Frakenheimer's true masterpiece (see The Manchurian Candidate), this late 90s film was everything a spy thriller should be: taut, exciting, and completely unpredictable (what the fuck was in the case?). Featuring an all-star cast led by Robert DeNiro and Jean Reno, it's a strange wonder this didn't blow the top off of the box office. Also features the best car chase ever filmed.
7. Titanic - What's that you say? How does the highest-grossing film of all time wind up on an underrated list? Well, ask anybody you see what they think of the film and they'll be likely to respond the same way: the ending is good, the rest sucked and put me to sleep. Obvious bullshit, but what can you do? Don't give into peer pressure. This film was great, this film is great, and even if you can't stand Leonardo DiCaprio, this film still holds up well. James Cameron's masterpiece, even if you do like Aliens better.
8. TMNT - yes, another cartoon, albeit a computer-animated one. A fresh update of everyone's favorite mutant martial artists, this film failed to captivate the American public, despite its obvious nostalgia, excellent action sequences, and a solid (if formulaic) plot. The duel in the rain is quite possibly the coolest animated fight I've ever seen (and, yes, I've seen The Animatrix). My only hope is the relative failure at the box office won't prevent sequels.
9. Unbreakable - forget the vastly overrated The Sixth Sense, Unbreakable is M. Night Shyamalan's true magnum opus. Admit it, you hated Signs the second time you watched it, and you know that The Village, Lady in the Water, and The Happening all suck. This comic book movie without a comic book was all character, which is very, very hard to pull off in such a genre. Perhaps Bruce Willis is on to something... M. Night needs to make a sequel to this. He's already proven he can't do much else.
10. Willow - a cult classic, but still a near-forgotten entry in the lore of fantasy films. Despite being clearly a Star Wars clone, this film had everything one could want in an adventure movie. Short heroes, tall heroes, beautiful villains/heroines, and funny brownies. Not to mention the coolest hero name since Han Solo (Madmartigan, anyone?). Ron Howard didn't get enough credit and George Lucas got too much, but Willow is an awesome film.
That's it for now, folks. I'll probably do another list soon as there are a few more films I feel are vastly underrated (The Man Who Shot Liberty Valance, The Thin Red Line, Master & Commander: The Far Side of the World, and Road to Perdition, to name a few).
Anyone got any to add?
Anyway, the list:
1. 28 Weeks Later - most horror sequels suck. This one... doesn't. A believable script coupled with a semi-plausible premise following the semi-plausible 28 Days Later, I'm quite surprised it didn't do better at the box office. Effortless characterization builds on real life cliche and provides a thrill ride in which you're finally not rooting for the monsters to rip apart the inept protagonists. While I'm still leery of the announced 28 Months Later, because of 28 Weeks Later, I'm actually sort of looking forward to it.
2. Arlington Road - predating 9/11, this ultra-creepy and ultra-paranoid tale of terrorism only became more relevant after the fall of the Twin Towers. Expertly crafted, the film featured downright disturbing acting from Tim Robbins and Joan Cusack, and should be revisited. A subtly powerful film made even more powerful by real world events.
3. Dark City - before The Matrix asked pop culture "what is real?," Dark City cerebrally presented the question in the form of a neo-noir science fiction film, replete with trench coat-wearing aliens. Arguably a superior film to The Matrix, the mood more intense, the tone more realistic, but the marketing... well, that was non-existent. Director Alex Proyas' feature followup to The Crow, this one is a must see.
4. The Iron Giant - Yep, a cartoon. And not just any cartoon... it's easily one of the best of the last 10 years, and with the possible exception of Lilo & Stitch (another underrated film), the best science fiction cartoon since, well... I'll get back to you on that. Funny, touching, and all-too-human, this should be in the movie library of every self-respecting parent.
5. Robin Hood - no, not the Kevin Costner vehicle, the one with the guy from Sleeping With the Enemy. Undoubtedly a victim of Prince of Thieves syndrome, this film was not theatrically released in the United States, despite starring Uma Thurman as Maid Marian. More traditional than the Costner film, it still took enough liberties with the original Robin Hood tales to remain an enjoyable, not too predictable film.
6. Ronin - quite possibly Frakenheimer's true masterpiece (see The Manchurian Candidate), this late 90s film was everything a spy thriller should be: taut, exciting, and completely unpredictable (what the fuck was in the case?). Featuring an all-star cast led by Robert DeNiro and Jean Reno, it's a strange wonder this didn't blow the top off of the box office. Also features the best car chase ever filmed.
7. Titanic - What's that you say? How does the highest-grossing film of all time wind up on an underrated list? Well, ask anybody you see what they think of the film and they'll be likely to respond the same way: the ending is good, the rest sucked and put me to sleep. Obvious bullshit, but what can you do? Don't give into peer pressure. This film was great, this film is great, and even if you can't stand Leonardo DiCaprio, this film still holds up well. James Cameron's masterpiece, even if you do like Aliens better.
8. TMNT - yes, another cartoon, albeit a computer-animated one. A fresh update of everyone's favorite mutant martial artists, this film failed to captivate the American public, despite its obvious nostalgia, excellent action sequences, and a solid (if formulaic) plot. The duel in the rain is quite possibly the coolest animated fight I've ever seen (and, yes, I've seen The Animatrix). My only hope is the relative failure at the box office won't prevent sequels.
9. Unbreakable - forget the vastly overrated The Sixth Sense, Unbreakable is M. Night Shyamalan's true magnum opus. Admit it, you hated Signs the second time you watched it, and you know that The Village, Lady in the Water, and The Happening all suck. This comic book movie without a comic book was all character, which is very, very hard to pull off in such a genre. Perhaps Bruce Willis is on to something... M. Night needs to make a sequel to this. He's already proven he can't do much else.
10. Willow - a cult classic, but still a near-forgotten entry in the lore of fantasy films. Despite being clearly a Star Wars clone, this film had everything one could want in an adventure movie. Short heroes, tall heroes, beautiful villains/heroines, and funny brownies. Not to mention the coolest hero name since Han Solo (Madmartigan, anyone?). Ron Howard didn't get enough credit and George Lucas got too much, but Willow is an awesome film.
That's it for now, folks. I'll probably do another list soon as there are a few more films I feel are vastly underrated (The Man Who Shot Liberty Valance, The Thin Red Line, Master & Commander: The Far Side of the World, and Road to Perdition, to name a few).
Anyone got any to add?
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