Sunday, July 16, 2006

Grammar War II: Regarding Words

Let's just cut to the chase you illiterate donkeys...

1) The difference between "there," "their," and "they're" - THERE is a multifunction word indicating a place or a point. Examples: THERE is the school where we learn grammar or stand right THERE and look stupid. THEIR is an adjective indicating THEY as a possessor. Examples: THEIR brains have higher capacities than yours and THEIR minds aren't dumb like yours. THEY'RE is a contraction representing the words THEY and ARE. Examples: THEY'RE intelligent; you're stupid and THEY'RE capable of functioning on their own. Of course, to understand those last examples, one would need to understand the difference between "your" and "you're."

2) The difference between "lose" and "loose" - LOSE is a verb indicating the absence of possession and sometimes the destruction of something. Examples: You LOSE your keys or the idiot acted as though he'd LOSE his mind. LOOSE is a multifunction word usually indicating something not confined, restrained, or otherwise tied down and secured. Examples: Her shoelaces were LOOSE or she's got a few LOOSE screws.

3) "Irregardless" IS NOT A WORD, so please quit using it. The word is simply REGARDLESS. REGARD plus LESS effectively means without regard. The prefix "ir" also means without. Which means that "irregardless" would probably mean without without regard, which would ultimately mean just REGARD (two "withouts" equal "with," no?)... are you understanding this?

New words for your simple minds:
rococo - excessively ornate or intricate

ombudsman - one that investigates reported complaints (as from students or consumers), reports findings, and helps to achieve equitable settlements

commingled - to blend thoroughly into a harmonious whole


Anonymous said...

Bad day in the grammar department? :)

Posted by Geoffry on July 16, 2006 - Sunday - 2:26 PM

Anonymous said...

Oh, you'll be seeing a lot more like this in the future...

Posted by JeffScape on July 16, 2006 - Sunday - 7:30 PM

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